
Good Saturday morning from the patio,
What a beautiful first day of June here in North Central Pennsylvania. I will miss these days. The humidity is low, the breeze is simple and tranquil. I have been fortunate to spend some time this afternoon at the pool of good friends, and the view and couple hours to relax have been most refreshing, decompressing, and needed. While I do not believe I put in near the crazy schedule I did in my 20s and 30s, I am nowhere near that age, hard to believe double or triple it, but I still feel more hamster-like than I wish at moments.
This coming week, I need to focus on some of the retirement chores as well as manage the course currently in process, so it will be a bit hectic. Organization and structure will make it manageable. Additionally, the weekend has been spent managing the schedule of others as some items are being sold on FB Marketplace. With the help of someone much more savvy than I am, things are going. Each piece is one less future item to manage, and I am all about the more (and the sooner) the better. It is amazing what we collect versus what we need (and notice, I did not use the word “want.”). While I understand the concept of Marketplace, I am realizing I am not a marketer, at least when it comes to platforms. Fortunately, I have some assistance.
One of the things that continually fascinates me is how people come into and out of our lives. Sometimes, some larger situation influences those passages, but there are those moments when there is a particular randomness. That is what happened about a month ago. Sitting in my favorite local restaurant, a person who spent a couple months staying in my home walked in with a close friend. While I had never formally met the friend, I recognized them from seeing them a number of times in a local coffee house I have also frequented. I was introduced and all went about their evening. Before they left we chatted and set up an evening of wine and tapas for a week or so later. The following week, they arrived punctually, and we spent the evening sharing stories, explaining lives, and enjoying a delightful time of wine and food. We spent the entire evening in the kitchen, the dining room, and the back yard patio. It was profoundly enjoyable, and as importantly revealing. The paths we trod, the events we experience, and the consequences of both do more to shape our vision, our attitude, and perhaps most importantly, our outlook than we sometimes realize.
What I found, and continue to find, (and not just in this case) is how complex we are. This new person, who now assists in my down-sizing, will blow out almost any stereotype you will. We are the product of upbringing and expectation, and without a doubt, gender affects that to a degree that sometimes goes unrealized, or at least the degree it affects can often be underestimated. In spite our progress toward some soupçon of gender equality, there is still much inequitable. What is deemed appropriate for a young woman versus a young man upon graduation is vastly different. What is accepted as safe or possible is also profoundly diverse.
If I were to describe this now late-20s individual without knowing what I do, I would be so sadly misinformed, incredibly shallow, and grossly unfair to just how exceptional of a human they are. Intelligence is infused in every fiber of them. Curiosity and wonder toward our world is both their gift and, at moments, the bane of their existence. A goodness that wishes for beauty and the care of our world radiates from their pictures and words, illustrating an appreciation of the basics, those things we perhaps fail to see, that I have seldom known from another person. Their attention to detail from design to aesthetics is stunning to behold, and it provides me a sense of hope and wonder that I had forgotten. Beyond these noted attributes is a willingness to learn, educate, and further their skills from construction and design to living with a self-sufficiency most would not dare to attempt. In a world where making such a choice would be considered unwise at best and perhaps folly at worst, their willingness to explore, experience, and learn has developed a person with keen observational skills, with a sense of identity that many could only hope to have at their age. There is a particular fearlessness, and yet one tempered by a dose of common sense. Additionally, though conversation, it becomes apparent they have an innate ability to connect with, while respecting the personage of the other. Each conversation reveals yet another atypical experience, which seems to help weave an incredible quilt, one that both gives them comfort and a freedom to face whatever the season might offer. I think this is one of the more surprising things I’ve experienced from them. The ability to land on their feet, the resilience is palpable. And yet, they have revealed some of the struggles to maintain their nomadic trek. The responsibility for managing all aspects of one’s existence in the midst of a changing location, traveling the immense boundaries of the country is only the beginning. Knowing how to respond to any contingency that might arise requires more than simple resilience. From the basic mechanical to maintaining a house on wheels, there can be little doubt that being the proverbial Jack-of-all-trades is efficacious. Networking on the road is not an easy thing accomplished, but they have done that on multiple occasions and established that ability on numerous levels. Such an ability requires the ability to be affable while being wise, thoughtful, and flexible. Those abilities are all apparent as you converse with them, amazed by their stories of the road.
And yet that is only the beginning. It would be easy to question their methods if one considered only appearance, be it from the vintage-ability they possess. It is certainly possible to pass them off as simply tall, statuesque, and head-turning, which are all attributes readily apparent, but what you would miss. Their ability to articulate a thoughtful and dedicated feminist mindset is quite stunning, even more than the beauty that radiates in any place they occupy. It is their frank and experiential honesty that will most intrigue you should you take the time to move beyond your initial shock of their physicality. Each time we end of chatting, I walk away with a renewed sense of admiration and hope. They have certainly taken the road less traveled (and the incredible pun in that statement is not unnoticed by me). I asked it they had an estimate of mileage and while it is less than anticipated, it is still substantial. Hearing some of their moments from numerous Burning Man events to traversing the entire breadth of I-80 or working their way north to south and back again, visiting Joshua Tree or passing through the solitude of Wyoming in the Fall or Winter is not for the faint of heart. Standing on the shore of the Great Salt Lake or experiencing the wilds of Western Texas is memorable (I know this from experience), but it is easy to get swallowed up in the vastness of it all. And certainly their stories show there are moments, but perhaps it is their self-identified whimsical love for the world that both propels and protects them. Their incredible combination of both a child-like playfulness and the savviness of a world traveler is what provides the ability to land on their feet.
It is their birthday as I finish this blog, and it is my present, albeit too small a gesture, for the unparalleled goodness they have displayed over these last weeks. You are wished a most glorious day. Thank you for the conversations, the insights, and the honesty. To the times our paths might cross as we get ready to go down our own roads. I wish you blessings, safety, and sense of peace. I think the possibilities are endless. We have spoken of angels, and so this song is for you. Thank you for your angelic ways.
To everyone else, thank you for reading.
Dr. Martin









