Creating a Home

Hello from my morning group breakfast meet up.

As per usual, I am at BK waiting on the group (not necessarily the waiting,but being here) to assemble where we create or solve local and world problems (you have probably observed these groups of older males sitting around having their morning coffee). This group has evolved both in location and in attendees. It is not uncommon to get a rundown of the scheduled appointments, the honey-do lists, and their unadulterated opinions about our crazy world (or town). What I appreciate is the walking history books I have access to daily. I have learned so much about the changes that have occurred in the place I have called home for the last 15 years. The majority of them are veterans, more in the weeds of Southeast Asia than I was. The majority of them went to high school here, and they have spent their lives, raised their families, and offer a thoughtful perspective (albeit opinionated – and understandably so) on the on our little town (and it is officially called a town and not a borough like most municipalities here in Pennsylvania). After 15 years here, I have been here longer than any other place in the 51 years since graduation from high school.

The size of Bloomsburg is not substantial (12,730 as of 2022, and that was a decrease), but it is quaint, clean, and a bit of a two-horse town, with the majority of people employed by the university or Geisinger Medical Center. This was not always the case in terms of employment; there are remnants of the once thriving carpet industry that was central to the town’s economy. Magee Carpeting began in the late 1800s, and the plant moved to the Bloomsburg area in the early 20th century, known as “the mill of two-thousand dinner pails.” Additional carpet mills and factories would spin off, and there are still two or three carpeting mills in town even now. In Berwick, a few miles away, the Stuart Tank Factory built over 15,000 tanks during World War II. Some of the incredible group of men I see daily had relatives who worked, or they themselves worked in these establishments. The trait that comes through again and again is dependability and hard work. Additionally, there is a genuine care for each other that the daily comments exhibiting the availability for the other demonstrate a willingness to do whatever is needed at whatever time. Each morning coffee has already been purchased by someone for the others, and often they intentionally come early to buy before the others arrive. There is a camaraderie and care that makes the group both cohesive and yet a place where individual people are valued. As noted at other times, I am probably the only Democrat at the table, and there are times I feel a bit attacked; however, I do not feel fragile nor unwelcome. I can, however, always be sure that when something of significance happens politically, I will be on the minority-side of that conversation. I have learned how to couch my statements, even when they are obviously true (at least to me) in a manner as not to offend the majority. This is something I do try to do regularly.

What I find so significant about this thoughtful, opinionated, but also generally common-folk, and I mean that in a complimentary way, is they illustrate what is typical in many of the small towns and hamlets across our amazing country. The reality that people return home, even after a stint away, epitomizes that happens here every day. What I have observed is even after a member of the group has passed on, that individual is not forgotten. Certainly, they are not mentioned daily, but their presence, and what they shared in times gone by is part of the collective identity of the group. There is something gratifying about that. What is both intriguing and enjoyable is how the daily interaction is sometimes predictable and always surprising. I learn some new handy fact or tidbit most everyday about the history of Bloomsburg. Of course, their colorful commentary adds much to what might otherwise seem mundane. Much like any little town, progress is met with a sense of concern and sometimes disdain.

All of this is its own sociological study of our humanity. Progress is always something that offers possibility and opportunity, but it simultaneously creates consternation because of the unfamiliarity it breeds. I find the need for predictability more significant, more desirable as I become older. And yet, I have always been compelled by curiosity to try something new, to explore the possibilities. As I rapidly approach the official date of retirement, the fruition of three years of pondering the other side of employment is taking shape. Sitting in Bloomsburg after leaving the university was not something I have ever anticipated. I think that became clear to me when I made the decision to sell “The Acre” a little more than two years ago. From time to time, I worked on an article, never completing it, exploring the rhetoric of place, pondering what gives someone a sense of place. I find myself examining that concept once again. Is it longevity? Familiarity? Experience? I think it is a combination of things. However, I think it is really what allows one to feel they belong in a place. I have pondered this from time to time, and I am quite sure that my ability to move, to pick up and reorient, it the consequence of being adopted when I was almost 5. Even now, in spite of my propensity for having nice things, I am not overly attached to stuff. As I am downsizing, some people have inquired as to whether or not I am feeling sad as things go out the door. I can say I am not, and in fact it is quite the opposite. If friends or others find joy in having the things I have removed, that makes me happy. Certainly, there are things I will miss, but do I need them moving forward? Probably not. Are there things I will miss, things I will remember with some degree of appreciation. Of course, but the focus now is on utility. What do I need to manage my downsized existence? What should I pack into my limited storage so I don’t have to buy it again? There are items of familial importance that will be passed on to nephews and nieces. There are some things that are important benchmarks in my life I will also offer them. There have been points in my life where I have held on to things believing they had importance, they had a value or were needed, only to discard them later. We are materialistic people for sure. Thinking back to my childhood, what I realize is I always had what I needed. Understanding the difference between needs and wants is important, not only because of the expense or space, but because I think it helps us understand the value of things.

This returns me to this little town of Bloomsburg. Currently, there are some changes in the town from the direction of streets to walking paths, from what happens on a Friday night once a month to how the university has actually undergone an integration and a name change. Change is frightening; it can be uncomfortable. There is a consistency in the group of men I met with most mornings. The are the conduit from a Bloomsburg I never knew, but I have gone to appreciate. They are the eyes, the reality of a town that was an industrial hub of a particular industry. Each day through their conversations, their reminiscing I am transported back to the generations before them. What I know is their insight, their value to this town is much greater than many realize. As I join them as one of the retired people who find their way into some local establishment for their morning coffee and whatever sweet is brought in, I realize how blessed I have been to learn from them. Indeed, our politics will never align on one level, and yet, their love of country cannot be denied. The picture at the top of the page is a good portion of them on any given morning. The picture is used with their permission. While my job and colleagues at the university, the students in my classrooms (either in person or online) were what took up the majority of my time, the ability to learn from these incredible group of men (and it has been pretty much that) has been an unexpected and important part of me really creating a home here in Bloomsburg. They welcomed me and made me feel at home. Charlie (both of you), Ray, John (both of you) Bill, Vince, Jim, Todd, Terry, Slick (as he is called), Steve, Jerry, Dick, and if I have left out a name, I will have to add it: from the bottom of my heart: thank you. This version of Garth Brooks “The Dance” includes scenes from the movie Pearl Harbor. It seems appropriate as most of the group are veterans, albeit Vietnam, and additionally they allowed me to join their morning dance at BK.

Thanks as always for reading.

Dr. Martin

The Price of Uncivil Division

Hello on Sunday morning,

As I read the coverage like millions of others around the world, the reality that we came millimeters from the killing of a former President and as well as the current likely nominee for their party’s current election, should be both frightening and seen for the outrageous truth it displays. Certainly, the loss of life of an individual attending the Butler, PA rally as well as the serious injury to two others is as tragic, and while we do not know their names, they are as important to their family and loved ones as our family members are to us.

It has been more than a half century since actual shots were fired at a President and now at a former President, but the shock should be as palpable as ever. While the Secret Service, and those close to former President Trump displayed incredible valor, does not reveal the number of foiled attempts on the President’s or the Vice President’s lives, there have been attempts on both Presidents and Vice President Harris. Let me state unequivocally, “There is no place for violence in our political process.” I believe the American propensity to use weapons, legal or otherwise, complicates our conversations, and I am not anti-Second Amendment, though reasonable limits make sense to me. Additionally, again I will say this as forcefully as possible. Conversation or comments from either side of the aisle that flame the fire of division at this moment are inappropriate. We have spent a lot of time and energy blaming the other side. As I have read comments today from around the world, there is a common thread that notes such an attempt on anyone’s life is abhorrent. Certainly, the requisite questions must be asked; most assuredly, if protocols were not managed, there should be accountable decisions made. Discovered lapses, which seems to be likely, must be remedied.

The arm-chair-quarterbacking, that does little more than blame, serves no one well. I have read everything I can find about the incident, and I am sure a family is stunned their son attempted this. I read about a 50 year old family person who died shielding his wife and daughters. This is tragic, and it requires some soul searching on both sides of our broken, two-party system. Our political apparatus has become a process focused on money and power. That is an entirely a separate issue, but I do believe it is connected. I also believe that the politics of our democracy have always been messy. From the duals that characterized our early Republic to the reality of slavery and the ensuing Civil War and Reconstruction, our national history iso rife with disparate actions and attitudes. The times of McCarthy or the Jim Crow attitudes that are still alive today all show we are fragile people, and that fragility has too often been demonstrated through an inappropriate expression of anger. I do realize these are some rather bold strokes across our almost 250 years as a country here, but what I am trying to say is dispute is nothing new. The words of John Wilkes Booth as he leaped from the Presidential box after shooting President Lincoln do not sound that strange in our current political atmosphere. And it is unfortunate to see that parallel. The parallels to 1968 have been raised yet another tragic level. The assassination of two political figures that year changed the course of our national history.

As someone who studies rhetoric and the power of words, it is time we collectively consider our language, our speech, and the way words are used. Two recent books, one titled Angry Public Rhetoric and the other A Crisis of Civility? Certainly the political atmosphere of our country, even before the weekend, has been fractured. The wounding of Rep. Steve Scalise or Rep. Gabbie Giffords are examples of our national discontent. The reality of the language on either side of the aisle has developed an aggregate tenor that demonizes the opposing side. Statements, which might have been innocuous at one point, now, seem more often than not, not only partisan but inflammatory. Is there a magic remedy? Certainly not, but instead it requires our entire nation, the collective populace, to understand the importance of the phrase amor patriae. The love of country is neither a merely misguided patriotism nor a more insidious nationalism. It is the belief that we are collaboratively more successful than individually. It is the stance that our cumulative synergy creates possibilities that singularly would never be achieved. Much of our political division is based on what the founders of our country struggled with from the outset: federalism versus states’ rights. Additionally, there is the basic concept of civility. Civility is connected to both how we act and how we speak (Laden, 2019). Furthermore, Dr. Laden, a professor of philosophy at the University of Illinois, asserts when considering civility in the political realm one considers the experience of the group and notes there is a disposition to cooperate. Aristotle called this civic virtue. Virtue has to do with the moral, the social and the intellectual as well as generally considered for the good of humanity.

Most mornings, as noted from time to time, I have coffee with a group of other men, and in the group of a dozen or so, I am probably the only Democrat. I tell them regularly I need to listen to them and ponder their statements, their positions. They force me to think, to reflect on our differences. And yet this morning, there was no disagreement that our public discourse is broken, not healthy. It was helpful to hear that both former President Trump, current President Biden, the current Speaker of the House Johnson, current Senate Majority Leader Schumer, and former First Lady Melania Trump all issued thoughtful statements about toning it down. In fact, the former First Lady’s statement was particularly well-stated. The fact that President Biden addressed the nation from the Oval Office is of significance. What would be unprecedented would be a joint statement from both President Biden and former President Trump. I am not sure it could be managed, but think of what such a statement might do. Is it possible that such statement with sincerity and honesty from both might create a tremorous shift in our national atmosphere. Such a statement might truly exhibit the love of country that we need at present. Perhaps such a hope is a pipe dream, but dreams can become realities. Certainly releasing such a statement months before a national election would make it even more profound. Might it push both candidates to focus on the issues that plague the country versus the sort of personal vitriol that seems too characteristic of our daily conversations?

Along with all the questions that the weekend has created, I could not help this morning but to turn my thoughts to the family of the person who attempted to assassinate former-President Trump. This 20 year old had parents, perhaps grandparents, aunts, and uncles. What are they going through as they bury a son, grandson, nephew, who is now an infamous footnote in our history. There seems to be little indicating he was on such a violent way to end his life. Certainly, the consequences of Saturday will reverberate for years to come, and they should. Political violence is antithetical to democracy. That is not to say there is no passion; that is not to say there is not strident disagreement; and that is not to say democracy is not messy. However, much like with anything else, there need to be limits and boundaries. Limits and boundaries will be pushed, but they must be maintained. There is safety in the maintaining them. There is stability, and by extension, hope in their existence. I am glad that the former President escaped any serious harm in Saturday’s violence. I am praying that we might all step back from a precipice that could been irreparable. There will be two conventions this summer. There will be two candidates (regardless the opinions on both) nominated. I do hope we might depend on our better angels to serve us as we move forward. I pray we might understand love of country as a collective that is beyond what we have recently exhibited. I believe we are capable of so much better if as President Biden noted, we are neighbors, friends, and co-workers. Indeed, I am personally aware of losing people because of our different political views; it was, and is, hurtful and sad. I do not remember such strong discordant feelings and language earlier in my life because of who was elected, because of the views of a president or a former president. And yet, studies show this sort of struggle is part of our democracy. Lincoln, the first Republican President not only addressed this, he lost his life because of it. Regardless of the conspiracy theories, JFK, his brother, and MLK Jr. would lose their lives to assassins. The consequences of those losses are incalculable, and doubtful that we are better for it. Likewise, the loss of life through political violence seldom has any positive impact. Democracy is difficult, and civility seems even more so, but without our concerted efforts to work toward it, we are doomed to repeat the sort of horrendous events that happened this past week. I remember when this song first came out. It moved me to tears. Maybe it’s time to remember that loss creates tears. To the family of the fire chief in Butler, I am so profoundly sorry for your loss of your personal hero.

Thank you as always for reading.

Dr. Martin

Edifying and/or Educational

Hello on a warm, sultry, by July afternoon,

As someone who’s spent about 85% of their life in a classroom, albeit in various roles, to say education is central to my life would be a strong understatement. And yet, perhaps surprisingly, I find myself asking has it been edifying. The simple answer could be “Of course!” The non-critical answer could be, “Without a doubt.” And the foolish answer might be its own question, “Why would I even ask this question?” Much like the students in Lincoln Douglas or Parliamentary Debate, it is essential to define terms. I do, for instance believe that education involves the acquisition of knowledge, and ideally it occurs in a way that what is acquired has a positive cumulative result. The term edification (which is used as a participle in the title) was a bit surprising to me. Not that I had no comprehension of its meaning, but as a verb, the first term was educate, and the 7 following synonyms were all related to teaching and learning. And when I look at the noun form, the same occurs, even more extensively. This pushes me to do some further etymological searching, but that is for later. It seems they are more synonymous than realized.

As a boomer and a veteran, I am on the cusp of the requisite college explosion. In my blue-collar, middle class, but still barely beyond a paycheck-to-paycheck existence, many of my classmates entered the factory life or the trades, and I had no real belief that college was in my future. And earlier posts attest, I had neither the means nor the grades that pointed toward where I now find myself. Attending college, obtaining a degree, and managing a professional position was certainly something to aspire toward. And yet, I realize now I had no idea what was required or what it would feel like if I accomplished those three things. Furthermore, the idea that I would have multiple graduate degrees was certainly no where on the radar. I had a cousin, who was older (a parental age) who had achieved this level, life as a professor, but I did not see myself in his realm in any manner, shape, or form. And yet . . . As I retire from the academy as he once did, I wonder what he thought about that life of preparing others for a path that started with achieving that educational goal beyond public education.

The reality of that accomplishment and how even those in my own family understood it was demonstrated loud and clear when I was accepted to the PhD program. I called my father, who was now 80 years old, and I was excited to tell him about my acceptance to the program. As I relayed my news, he paused and stayed inquisitively, “You are going back to college? I thought you had a job.” A bit taken back, I responded, “Yes; but it’s a doctoral program.” In his practical manner, again, he said, “I am proud of you, I think.” My one word response of “yes” was rapidly followed by a second question from my less-than-impressed father, “How long will this take? As I responded, “Four or five,” he interrupted before I could say years, and said incredulously, “Years?” As I responded in the affirmative, he asked how many years of college that would be. My response of 13 or 14 elicited yet another pragmatic statement from my startled parent. Not a person prone to swearing, he said, “Jesus Christ! Don’t you think you should be getting smart pretty soon.” There were more questions and answers, but needless to say, my path made little sense to my electrician father.

I do believe he would be proud of my accomplishment, which he did not live long enough to see, but I remember his eyes welling up in tears when I received my first Master’s. I was quite stunned and humbled by that response. This returns me to the concept of both education and edification. Life is educational; it happens daily, and often without our realization. Too often we merely muddle along with minimal to no reflection on our experiences. I have often told my students all learning is positive. When it goes well, it can be edifying and there is hopefully something efficacious, something worth revisiting. Conversely, when it goes poorly, when it creates something painful, I am positive I do not want to do it again. More importantly, some of the most significant lessons learned have been knowing what I do not want to do again. Experiencing, reflecting, and processing are foundational to growing and moving forward in life. The other important consideration is where it occurs. In spite of so much time spent in a classroom, some of my most profound learning moments occurred outside that determined space. Some of the learned things, growing moments, happened through merely going through the simple actions of being.

While there are a multitude of examples, there is one that might seem innocuous, but that was not the case. My second summer in language school in Kraków, I was put into a section that was thought to be kind because of previous experience. Because I had not diligently worked on my Polish since the previous summer, I was not ready. My two incredibly talented (and patient) instructors (one from the previous summer and one who had been our guide on the trips for years) tried to support me, but their most intentional efforts were not enough. I would not succeed in that course. It is about a week ago in the calendar year and the summer of 2019, when I wrote one of the most revealing posts in my 11 years of blogging; when I was perhaps as despondent as I could possibly be (fortunately I am not there now, and I have not really been there since.). What I remember is the outpouring of support following that post was palpable, and that is an understatement. That was, for me, both educational and edifying, which was, by extension, perhaps even more educational.

First, in spite of being in a familiar place, albeit in Kraków, a place I loved, I felt alone and displaced. Second, for someone who found most learning comfortable, I was anything but; and finally, those two things together, had me overwhelmed and feeling like a failure. The old demons of self-doubt were alive and well. With the people I felt most comfortable reaching out to 7 hours difference in time and over 4,000 miles away, the loneliness and fear were incredible. Clearing my head, managing my emotions were only possible through writing, so this forum was a salvific place. However, it was much more than the writing. Much like the reality of most theological action, there were two parts. There was my confession of sorts. However, it was the response of others where the most profound experience, significant enlightenment (truly) occurred. The comments from so many, and some I had not heard from in months or years were a potent reminder that in spite of time and distance, I was not alone. There was the educational moment. Even in our moments of being solitary, either intentional or by accident, we are seldom unconnected. More importantly, those connections are essential to our well-being.

In our busy lives it is easy to turn inward, focusing on the task at hand, but often, caught up in all the minutiae, we miss what happens around us, we lose sight of community. It is ironic that I realize the importance of that sense of connectedness when I merely take the time to retreat and think. As I ponder the changes that stare me in the face, I am cognizant of the way I will both lose a community that has been my life for 15 years and simultaneously work to establish a new one. Over the last week, I have been reaching out to some who have known me their entire lives. I am reaching out to some known only for months, and I am even reaching out to establish a new community. Most of it is non-academic, but educational nonetheless. All of it has the potential to be edifying, and as I am now realizing, that too is educational, and perhaps more profoundly so. The picture is from my little few day trip to South Carolina. The song is one of my first favorites, and about something that has always been of importance.

Thanks as always for reading.

Dr. Martin

Cultural or Counterculture

Hello from my little room in the Woodbine Medical Center,

As has been a once a year visit for the last 7 years or so, I am at the dermatologist to have them see if there are any new issues in my world. This one does have a specific concern that has been a problem for over a year. I suspect there will be some minor surgery, but that should manage the issue. Otherwise, there are a number of to-do items on my list for the next couple days. I have tried to be diligent on some things, but it seems many things are more complicated than necessary, but the need to manage them are profoundly necessary with the coming changes. The weekend will begin a couple of journeys that I hope prove to be fruitful and enlightening.

The summer has been a bit of a hodgepodge of events, reactions, and locations. Location is always a sort of post-modern word for me. There are the physical attributes of place, but there are also psychological, emotional properties. What provides a sense of belonging or comfort? What makes familiarity so essential? Events or occurrences fulfill time or days, but what makes them memorable, significant? Certainly sometimes those things happen unexpectedly, serendipitously, and that is often both an unexpected blessing as well as a thought-changer (more to be said about this term). And finally, while we are accountable for our reactions, our decisions, there are moments the reaction is so deeply felt, it changes the planned course of action. Certainly, the consideration of leaving my day-job has been a mixed bag. So much of my identity has been what I do. I have often said being a professor is not what I have done; it is who I am. So much of my life has been interaction with as well as from others. Retirement will provide a sense of solitude that I actually crave to some extent. I want to interact with others certainly, but I also want to have time to decompress and focus on what I want to do versus the deadlines that epitomize the academy. Additionally, I hope to have opportunities to learn and experience new and different options. This really gets me to the point of this particular post. Culture is something I focused upon in a Comp class at one point. How do you define culture? Think about it for a moment. It is complex because it encompasses all of our lives. It is certainly all the things we see; it is all the things with which we engage. It is what we hear, what we find important. It is what we eat, what we drink, what we use to entertain ourselves. It is what we believe or practice. It is what we value or believe. The point is simple. Most everything around us, everything that affects us is cultural. And yet I will assert that most of us only scratch the surface when it comes to understanding either our current cultural reality or even our cultural heritage. The difficulty in comprehending our present situation is due to the unending and overwhelming amount of information and the enormous degree of conflicting data. The struggle with identifying with our cultural heritage is we seldom take, or took) the time to ask the important questions of those generations preceding us. How many of us wish we knew more?

Over the last years, and this assignment had a metamorphosis for sure, I asked my students to create a Google map of their life, writing it as a sort of memoir to their future 18 year old children. I have created such a map for my nephews and nieces. I will, perhaps, share the URL in this blog post. One of the questions I require them to answer is how and why they describe themselves as they do? What are the three traits that most describe the person they believe they are? Ask them to speak to their aunts, uncles, grandparents, and ask questions about things they wish they knew. Even with that assignment and request, too often they are not as critical in their thinking about what to ask. Too often they are not analytical enough in pondering what they might ask or how and why they might ask that significant thing. It is one thing to view something and respond, to be asked a question, and merely to answer. That is what I did when my mother would catch me off guard – say whatever first came to mind. In retrospect that seldom worked. When it comes to things of importance, that is still the case. And it might be even more so in this discombobulated world we presently reside in, which is all the more reason to step back, think, and analyze.

This brings me to the second element of my title. There are multiple genres, sub-genres, cultures, sub-cultures or what some might consider counter-cultures. In more polite terms, one might refer to them as niche; others less polite might call them weird or BSC (batshit crazy), depending on the circumstance. What makes some aspects of culture mainstream or acceptable and others fringe or suspect? It often has to do with what we allow, what we find successful (which is itself a loaded term), what we believe to be comfortable (again, in our own understanding of that term), or what provides the means to be independent (again a loaded term). What I realize as I write this is a bit startling. We subscribe most often to what others think rather than what we feel, what we believe, or perhaps, most importantly what we need. What we need does not always align with what we want, but it is possible to create that alignment? I think this is where we need to step back and imagine, envision the possibilities. Additionally, when are the opportunities available to take such chances. From early in life, we are encouraged to have a plan, to know where we are going, where we are headed.

Recently, I attended an event that epitomizes a sub-culture, referred to as Schoolies, Busers, Van Lifers, those who have tricked out vehicles and live on the road. I experienced families, professionals, artists, crafters, and individuals from every part of the country, gathered to learn, exhibit, and share their expertise. The things I learned about solar power, living-off-the-grid, boon-docking, or the reality of living both simply and successfully was astounding. Certainly there were people there out of curiosity, but I walked into some vehicles that were so incredible, if I had not walked into their vehicle I would not know I was in something mobile. Certainly, there were all sizes, visions, and ideas. One of the most amazing builds, and one that received numerous votes for best of show, came from right here in Bloomsburg. I had watched videos of the build, which were stunning, but even those videos were not close to doing justice of the real thing. Inspirational comes to mind, and that is an understatement (the initial picture does not do justice to the actual experience). What was most interesting to me was how thought, planning, creativity, and the willingness to dream can make something happen. This is not unique but rather something that forms the basis for most achievements. Too often our fear eliminates the possibilities or options. Our fear creates artificial limits that negates imagination. Taking chances requires some courage, but it also takes honesty, and a willingness to ask for assistance. I often say, “My man-card is not that fragile.” That will certainly be the case over the next few months as I undertake a significant project. I am reading, asking questions, and listening to those who know so much more than I do. I am excited to learn new things and see what is created. Updates and progress will show up on Instagram. A couple weeks of managing materials and then let the transformation begin. Here is my musical thoughts about the journey. Life is that and believing that there are always possibilites.

Thanks as always for reading,

Dr. Martin

The Politics of Language

Flowers to Brighten Buslife

Hello from the high desert of Oregon,

I am pondering next steps, and I am on a learning excursion. After discarding the idea of van- or camper-life, I am reconsidering it with a vengeance. It has been a day that the title of my last post epitomizes: I have met wonderful people and learned a ton of things. On the other hand, I left my prescription glasses behind and have air-tagged them. They are now 120 miles away, and I have not moved. I could write an exclamatory word or two, but that would change nothing. I have marked them as lost and left a phone number. Perhaps the better angels will come to me and karma will work. The air tag is telling me where they are. Someone picked them up, so I am on the mission to get them back.

The weekend here in Oakridge has been enlightening on numerous levels, from a learning perspective to an interactive manner. Certainly, I saw some incredibly tricked-out schoolies as they are called. One in particular looked like and had the ambiance of a home (and I mean that – more of a home than a house). A second one was tricked-out to the degree you could cook anything in that kitchen. While there is much one can say about things being aesthetically pleasing, the mechanical, the out-of- view things are probably more important, and there one can rack up some serious cost. Understanding the issues of solar and how to manage that is foundational. Deciding issues of plumbing and choices about that are crucial, especially for me. Making sure I have a thoughtfully useful kitchen is of significance, and deciding how, why, or what to do in terms of heating and cooling are essential, particularly when considering the heat and cold ranges that are becoming more commonplace. I did make some basic decisions about a couple of things. All of this covers some of the things I am pondering. However, that all is what I have been focused on while here.

This is my first time in Western Oregon. I drove from Portland to Oakridge, and the state is beautiful. Where I am in quite rural, and yet it is Oregon. My understanding of the West Coast, and this is from my honest, but limited knowledge base. It is also a comparison to what I know from Pennsylvania or Iowa for that matter. As a former Marine, I have a strong sense of patriotism, a intense understanding of decorum, and a incredible belief that our supportive behavior of democracy is foundational to the survival of what many are now calling our Republic. In the 15 years (this time) and 4 years prior (in Lehighton), slightly more than 1/4 of my life had been in Pennsylvania. As a history major, and with particular work in the Civil War, I am amazed by the number of Confederate flags I have seen flying in Pennsylvania. In the past when I saw an American flag flying, I saw it from my Military mindset. And now that has changed. When I see an American flag flying in the bed of a jacked-up 4 Wheel Drive, I find myself now uncomfortable (and this is not something I am proud to say). When I see people with a placard that says “Support the Blue,” I find myself questioning their politics as much as I wonder what it means to support law enforcement. Again, a position that creates significant angst for me. A former student, with whom I shared significant time and had important interactions with over years, even beyond their college years, discontinued their interaction when I questioned the appropriateness of running people off the road during the 2020 campaign. They wanted to argue freedom of speech and patriotism. I could not accept either argument, and they accused me of supporting socialism and be willing to tear down our country. While I will admit that my reaction to former President Trump was, and is, more stridently political than I have ever been in my life, that visceral response is based on three things. I believe he is dishonest; I believe he is disrespectful; and I believe he has been abusive in how he uses power (be that financial or political). Conversely, I have not been a person who believed our former President is stupid; nor do I see him as incapable. He has been rhetorically effective, and he has been surprisingly successful in persuading a substantial section of the electorate he cares about them. That is not an easy thing to do, especially in our present national psyche.

As I ponder how it is the only two people we believe reasonable to run for our highest office are 78 and 81 years old, that too is a profoundly damning statement about our politics and our two-party system. Globalism, which is now foundational to all aspects of our earthly community, often frightens people. And this is about so much more than immigration, about the movement of people or goods, and is about a global backlash against the other. What does it mean now versus what was initially pondered or believed when we were integrally connected to the idea of a government of, by, and for the people. If money is the primary driver, of the rich might seem more apropos; if the first adage is true, we are governed also by those wealthy enough to bankroll a campaign; and finally, as the lack of term limits and name recognition clearly demonstrates ( re-election in the House has not been below 80% since the 1960s and in the Senate, while a little more volatile, is seldom below 80% with a couple strong exceptions in the 1970s) too often those elected are for their re-election. I do realize that is a bit cynical, and I wish I felt less so. I am amazed how many people (and not surprisingly) are deeply concerned what this November will bring.

As a veteran, the idea of patriotism, the expectations of a functioning democracy, and the desire that we are a country, which can still serve as a model society in our larger world, is something that has always provided hope and some sense of pride. And yet, both through experience with other American citizens as well as traveling to Central/Eastern Europe, Western Europe, Central and South America, I am well aware of how much of a beacon America still is for so many. It is ironic for sure that the very things that make us such an incredible place seem to be the things that most divide us. Issues of ethnicity, citizenship, freedom of religion and expression, and what equity means are some of those things. Our inability to look at and accept the other seems to be at the core of our struggles. And yet I am aware from the stories from some of my European friends that immigration is problematic there also. The geo-political situation, one exacerbated by the wars in Europe and Gaza, as well as the growing alliance between Russia and China or Russia and North Korea. As I read, it appears that Russia had created a situation where they have little choice but to reach out to their authoritarian counterparts as the war in Ukraine continues. I am certainly not an expert in Russian history or its current circumstances, but it seems all the work Vladimir Putin did to prepare his county (and here too it is the rich areas of Moscow and St. Petersburg) economically for the fallout of any military provocation has not gone as well as he hoped. Certainly North Korea poses a problem for China as well as with its other neighbors. So the importance or NATO, the EU, and other countries like Australia, New Zealand, or Turkey and Egypt in particular demonstrate how politicized our globalism is.

And yet let me return to us – what is an appropriate role for America on the world stage? Certainly what we did from the end of World War II until the collapse of Saigon in April of 1975 is no longer possible. And yet it seems we have no consistent long-term sense of how to manage it all. As I have mentioned on multiple occasions, we have seldom had an exit strategy to the conflicts we get mired in. When I think about President Obama’s foreign policy, I am not sure he was nearly as effective as he should have been (and I realize it’s complex). I believe President Trump’s actions toward NATO, coupled with his kowtowing to the very people we are mostly like to end up fighting served no good purpose (and I realize this is an opinion). I actually believe President Biden’s actions are more consistent with the American foreign policy of the late 20th century. Is that positive? Again, I want to say yes, but I am quite sure I have no clear sense of tue best outcome in what seems to be a reshuffling of our world order. And as certainly as I am unsure of what is best, and even more sure I would not want to be saddled with the duties of a President, required to make that very decision.

As I read through this, what is apparent in the moment is everything is connected in some way; everything is therefore exponentially more complicated; and as a consequence, it is all political. There is no way to avoid it. One might wish to not think about. One might wish to avoid it. Both are possible, but the consequences of it all are not. So, while I can appreciate a desire to not embrace it, at least thinking about it critically, especially until November 5th might be advisable. Read, question, listen, and ponder. Examine the words, consider the rhetoric, examine the choices. While the demonstrations about Gaza and Israel are somewhat reminiscent of the later years of Vietnam, there seems to be little of the focused strength that much of the country coalesced around from 1968-1972. This song perhaps spoke as clearly as any in that time.

Thank you as always for reading.

Dr. Martin

Tale of Two Cities or Evaluation and Assessment

Hello from Cleveland,

As I read and listened to the verdicts (both guilty) for two highly volatile cases, and as I finish the last three days of the last “typical class” of a full-time, tenure track teaching, academic career, I find my brain in two places. And yet, there is a connecting thread that holds it all together. Additionally, while I understand the appropriateness of parallelism, I am going to break that rule, and begin with the latter of the two points (and Bill, this is so you might continue to read).

Much of my life has been spent figuring things out, trying to understand the why about things. My poor mother – she certainly did not know what to do with this inquisitive, take-nothing-for-granted person she ended up with (as I was adopted). I appreciate the difference of opinion more than some might believe, more than perhaps I should. Over the past decade, the obsession with assessment in the academy is apparent in every corner of our university existence. Student Learning Outcomes, General Education Goals, Programmatic Outcomes, Accreditation, Agencies, and the list could go on. Are we doing what we say we are? That is a fair and significant question. Even when I was an elementary student, I remember taking tests titled Iowa Tests of Educational Development (ITEDs we called them). Certainly the rationale for No Child Left Behind (NCLB) was well-intended. However, in spite of our best intentions, it seems we use assessment as a way to monetize education. The actual amount of money we spend nationally on education is a pittance to many other things, and three decades in academe has illustrated that consequence (less than 3% of the Federal Budget is spent on elementary and secondary education, and we currently spend less than $2,300.00 per student on post-secondary education – these are 2023 figures from the US Department of Education). I looked at EU countries and the average for the EU is 4.7%.

Then there is the issue of evaluation . . . what is the difference, you ask? Assessment is about actual learning, evaluation is about grading. Those things every student focuses on. Why did I get this grade? What can I do to raise my grade? It is stunning how much value we place on those letters. I have thought about this for years, and I was as grade driven as anyone. I never graduated with a 4.0 cumulative GPA. I had significantly strong grades (after failing out the first time), but grades never kept me from moving forward. I learned some time ago how to address grades, and for the most part it has worked well. When I was in graduate school at MTU, we (as a department) decided for a year or two, if I remember correctly, to only give midterm and final grades. People freaked out. But the experience taught us a lot, particularly in the area of writing. Without grades, students paid much more attention to the comments on their papers, and their writing improved significantly (I think on average an entire letter grade). Step back for a moment and consider when grades matter after you graduate . . . for your first job or if you are going to graduate school. Otherwise, no one cares. Your future employers want to know if you are capable, dependable, and to put it in elementary language: do you play well with others? What has happened with the common practice of grade inflation is a belief that showing up (with not much else) earns someone an A. That is neither realistic nor honest. And more interestingly, the persons most often questioning the grade are the very ones who shouldn’t. We are evaluated throughout life, but we also need to learn to evaluate ourselves. Over the years, I learned to not compare myself with my colleagues. We all had different strengths, different skills, different methods. What I needed to do was compare myself with my earlier self. Was I improving, teaching more effectively? What I realized after leaving Stout was the incredible power some had over our lives, and how little power I had. It was a painful, but important lesson.

As I continue this blog, I am back in Bloomsburg after a bit of some a whirlwind trip with both expected and unexpected events. Before the week is completed, I will be out again, experiencing yet more new things. The first part of my blog noted the trial of two individuals, one a former President, and one a President’s son. In both situations, the reality of our polarized electorate is apparent and present. In both cases, a jury of peers adjudicated their understanding of justice, of deciding guilt or innocence. I would not have cared to serve on either jury, and I admire those who did in both cases. And regardless toward which side of the political aisle you lean, the need to have a trial by jury is essential to any hope we have for maintaining a civil society. That sounds a bit oxymoronic in our current national atmosphere, but the reality that both individuals (with incredible power to sway opinion) sat in a court of law to be judged is important. While partisans from either side will lament the outcome, I am pleased that a process played itself out as it should. There are all sort of things to argue (should either person have gone to trial? could either person get a fair trial? what are the consequences of both the verdict or the trial itself?), the simple fact that both individuals were found guilty lays out a couple of basic points. First, someone has to be indicted . . . this means there are grounds to charge someone. Step back and forget who is on trial. Indictment means something has materially (actually) happened that created a legal problem. In both cases, motions, questions, delays, and attempts to block the trial from happening occurred. However, in both cases, eventually, the trial occurred. I believe what happened, both in the court room and the response of the individuals there, could not be more disparate. Certainly some will argue it is all inappropriate, be it for former President Trump or for the current President’s son. Actions have consequence, and for the first time in a while, I believe we can say there was accountability. Again, I am well aware of all the extraneous arguments about both, but they are irrelevant. This is where I believe we have a bit of Dickens’s novel. “it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair . . . ” This seems to reflect so much of what or who we currently are in 2024. While I certainly have my own political leanings, and I do not really hide them, I would like to look at our system in general for a moment. Certainly, with the recent passing of O.J. Simpson, there was a renewed examination of that trial, a lack of conviction, and the other things that occurred in the aftermath. I remember sitting on the couch of my apartment on Shelden Avenue in Houghton, MI watching the Bronco chase. I remember being in the MUB on the MTU campus when the not guilty verdict came in. Much like now, that verdict split the country. The questioning of justice, depending on perspective, has never really disappeared, as was evident in the level of rehashing of what occurred in that 1995 trial. I think there is an interesting possible consideration of – is there a difference between not guilty versus innocent? That might be worth another blog at some point.

As a history major, and someone who was particularly interested in the difference between the French and American Revolutions, Dickens’s words about the world in the late 1700s are instructive. It was about the extremes of the society, of the world. The reality of the world and the final words of Carton as he ponders the guillotine are also revealing. As he considers what has happened, he thinks “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.” One of the things I consider for my students, and those coming into our world is whether or not we give them reason to hope. Hope is such a powerful motivator. It is an essential component of life. But, what is necessary for someone to be hopeful? What is that foundational element that provides a person a belief, the sense that something better is possible? I believe it is how we provide an understanding of the world, of what we do to promote the agency of the individual. Agency is something that seems to be at the front of my consideration lately. Too often we subjugate our power to the other. Power is something we all have, but something we seldom know how to manage. Power is complicated, but it is real. Certainly, much of what has occurred in our national court rooms was (and is) about power. And yet, I am comforted that the power of our system seems to have worked. I hope at some point when we look back on all of this, we will see that we still have hope in our system, in our country, and in our world. Sometimes, we believe we have lost it all. Sometimes, we wonder if there is still something fundamental that we can hold on to. The song by Faith Hill at the end of the movie, Pearl Harbor comes to mind.

Thanks as always for reading.

Dr. Martin

Resigned or Contented

Hello from Davenport, IA,

The establishment remains the same, but the location is different – and yet I am doing what I do. Sitting, thinking, pondering and writing are who I am. On my way here, I caught up with dear friends, former colleagues, and drove roads familiar to me. There is always a nostalgic element to it. From the incredible waving fields of newly planted corn and vibrant greens to the rolling hills (and they do exist, particular on the Eastern and Western borders) and smells of the rich earth, I am reminded of my childhood and visiting my Great-aunt’s and Great-uncle’s South Dakota farm. From the familiar towns and mile markers, I recall the travels earlier in my youth, when I drove something much more gas-consuming than my Beetle (I had a ’71 Chevelle with a 454 in it). Driving down the two-lane highways (cue up Pure Prairie League) certainly carries me back home.

As I write this, the imminent changes in my life are more real, bringing both joy and some wistfulness. I finished the grading of my summer class, turned in the grades to the electronic system that makes them official, and the ending of 31 years of full-time in some manner in the academy is closing. When I came to Bloomsburg 15 years ago, I knew it was the last rodeo, the final piece of a puzzle that I never knew I would create. When I arrived in this North Central town, I was both excited and anxious to see what a new place would hold for me. As with any period of time, there are a plethora of things that occur, but the ride has been incredibly smooth over all. There are a number of reasons for that, but most of those were the things outside my control. Students, 18-22 year olds, are the same, generally well-intentioned and trying to figure it all out. I do believe there are some generational differences, and I believe my colleagues would say the same. Colleagues, be it in one’s department, college, the university, or even the system, are essential to the well-being of the academic experience, and, of course, there is the administration. I have for the majority, and across the board, been blessed to work with unparalleled goodness and brilliance. There was one exception, but I learned valuable things from that experience. Of course there are those people who make a profound difference, and I am blessed to have such a person.

I was encouraged to apply for the position at Bloomsburg by a previous colleague who knew me at Stout. He left there about three years into my time in Menomonie, but his ability to see through any situation and get to the core of it is still unlike anyone I have ever met. His ability to address any circumstance with a simple matter-of -fact attitude as well as compartmentalize has served him and those who work with him well. In fact, I am not always sure how astute others realize him to be. He has a sort of “awe shucks” tone at times that belies his incredible wisdom and rhetorical ability. Then there is the reality that he is brilliant and principled. When I arrived at Bloomsburg, he was my known entity, the person I trusted and appreciated. Fifteen years later, he is my chair, my family, and my most trusted friend. To say he has blessed me is no where adequate. To say he changed my life might be the most profound understatement I could ever write or utter. To say, I am indebted to him announces what he gave to me can never be repaid. It has been a profound honor, joy, and privilege to work with him, and to become a family friend to all in the family.

While on this little journey, I had the opportunity to meet again with a former colleague and spouse, a couple that is incredibly dear to me. We had dinner the other evening, and after catching up on a number of things, the conversation changed to asking about their summer plans. At that point, one of them informed me of some incredible health concerns. I was stunned, and for the most part speechless. I merely stared across the table at them. The news was devastating, but again, in the typical manner, a calm, collected, and thoughtful voice noted the blessings in their life, in their relationships, in their accomplishments, and then stated they were content. And it was a truthful statement, there was no resignation about what might have been or what could be. It was a contentment for what is. As I listened to the process, the prognosis, and the plan, I found myself being comforted by the one with the diagnosis. What an irony. And yet, knowing this person as I do, there is a gentle, but strong (beyond measure) resolve to face the world as they know it. From the first time I met them, there was a goodness and wisdom, a kindness and calmness, that goes beyond admirable. One of the things noted was a project they embarked on together (and this was no ordinary project), but they have accomplished it (and in spite of the fact it is ongoing), and the consequence of their labor and love is so evident on a multitude of levels.

What I find myself realizing as I write this in the comfort of my sister-in-law’s dining room is too often we resign ourselves to our circumstance. If we are resigned to something, we give away our power. We abdicate our agency, and we choose to become the victim to our existence. What an incredibly sad way to manage our lives. I have often noted that resilience is a life changing, but it is also sagacious. It confronts the reality of something and chooses to work with it versus become the casualty of it. That does not mean there are no struggles nor questioning, but I believe it faces the reality of life, choosing to fight in the best way one’s knows to do. I am reminded of my father when he was diagnosed with cancer (he passed in less than 45 days from his diagnosis). When his PCP asked him what the oncologist had told him, he said, quite matter-of-factly, “He said I have cancer.” When the doctor asked if he remembered where it was (he was in the advanced stages of dementia), he responded, “It is in my liver and my kidneys.” And then he paused and looked up at the ceiling. He stated quite succinctly, “And it is somewhere else . . . and that is what is going to send me down the road.” His voice never wavered, and his tone did not change. I wonder if that was resignation or contentment? I think perhaps a bit of both. And yet, my father was also a person who rolled with things. Even earlier in his life when we was relegated to working out of town because of his stance on some issues (he was a journeyman electrician), he never complained in a way that we knew. He simply went to work, wherever it was, and managed life the best he could. There were years when we worked 8-10 hours away, covering 12 hours shifts, 7 days a week. There were times when we only saw him maybe 36 hours in a two month period. Eventually, that would change, but during my elementary years, it was difficult. I think there were times there he was more resigned than content, but he understood what he had power to change and what he did not.

As I consider those moments in my own life, what allows us to be content when a circumstance is less than amenable? I think I am learning, even this weekend, to remember my father’s words to me . . . “choose your battles wisely, and fight them well . . . but do not make them all battles.” Disagreements occur, situations happen, and feelings are bruised or affected. Personalities affect so much of what we do or say, but if we are only reactionary, more often than not, the circumstance is exacerbated. I have learned to be content with circumstances rather than resign myself to them. There is always a place, an aspect, where we can find some ability to manage rather than be managed. I often note that I wished I had learned two things earlier in my life. If I have no power over it, do not waste time on it; and second, if I make a mistake, to own it. In both cases what I am realizing that I have learned to be content with those situations versus resigned to them.

This week I have been reminded that life is not predictable, regardless of how much we plan, how much we attempt to manage our circumstance. Contentment is not resignation, it is understanding the reality of something, pondering the actuality of it, and believing I am not the victim of it. So much of my life has been planned and yet unpredictable. So many people and events have influenced and changed the path that was expected. I am sure there will be more along the way, but I am excited to see what happens on the other side of what I have been doing for so long. To my colleagues, my students, and those who have made a difference, I am grateful beyond words. To my dear friends, I love you all deeply, and I am here when you need me to be so. The video today is about that sense of peace that is so essential to being content.

Thank you as always for reading.

Dr. Martin

An Encounter with Elegance

Good Saturday morning from the patio,

What a beautiful first day of June here in North Central Pennsylvania. I will miss these days. The humidity is low, the breeze is simple and tranquil. I have been fortunate to spend some time this afternoon at the pool of good friends, and the view and couple hours to relax have been most refreshing, decompressing, and needed. While I do not believe I put in near the crazy schedule I did in my 20s and 30s, I am nowhere near that age, hard to believe double or triple it, but I still feel more hamster-like than I wish at moments.

This coming week, I need to focus on some of the retirement chores as well as manage the course currently in process, so it will be a bit hectic. Organization and structure will make it manageable. Additionally, the weekend has been spent managing the schedule of others as some items are being sold on FB Marketplace. With the help of someone much more savvy than I am, things are going. Each piece is one less future item to manage, and I am all about the more (and the sooner) the better. It is amazing what we collect versus what we need (and notice, I did not use the word “want.”). While I understand the concept of Marketplace, I am realizing I am not a marketer, at least when it comes to platforms. Fortunately, I have some assistance.

One of the things that continually fascinates me is how people come into and out of our lives. Sometimes, some larger situation influences those passages, but there are those moments when there is a particular randomness. That is what happened about a month ago. Sitting in my favorite local restaurant, a person who spent a couple months staying in my home walked in with a close friend. While I had never formally met the friend, I recognized them from seeing them a number of times in a local coffee house I have also frequented. I was introduced and all went about their evening. Before they left we chatted and set up an evening of wine and tapas for a week or so later. The following week, they arrived punctually, and we spent the evening sharing stories, explaining lives, and enjoying a delightful time of wine and food. We spent the entire evening in the kitchen, the dining room, and the back yard patio. It was profoundly enjoyable, and as importantly revealing. The paths we trod, the events we experience, and the consequences of both do more to shape our vision, our attitude, and perhaps most importantly, our outlook than we sometimes realize.

What I found, and continue to find, (and not just in this case) is how complex we are. This new person, who now assists in my down-sizing, will blow out almost any stereotype you will. We are the product of upbringing and expectation, and without a doubt, gender affects that to a degree that sometimes goes unrealized, or at least the degree it affects can often be underestimated. In spite our progress toward some soupçon of gender equality, there is still much inequitable. What is deemed appropriate for a young woman versus a young man upon graduation is vastly different. What is accepted as safe or possible is also profoundly diverse.

If I were to describe this now late-20s individual without knowing what I do, I would be so sadly misinformed, incredibly shallow, and grossly unfair to just how exceptional of a human they are. Intelligence is infused in every fiber of them. Curiosity and wonder toward our world is both their gift and, at moments, the bane of their existence. A goodness that wishes for beauty and the care of our world radiates from their pictures and words, illustrating an appreciation of the basics, those things we perhaps fail to see, that I have seldom known from another person. Their attention to detail from design to aesthetics is stunning to behold, and it provides me a sense of hope and wonder that I had forgotten. Beyond these noted attributes is a willingness to learn, educate, and further their skills from construction and design to living with a self-sufficiency most would not dare to attempt. In a world where making such a choice would be considered unwise at best and perhaps folly at worst, their willingness to explore, experience, and learn has developed a person with keen observational skills, with a sense of identity that many could only hope to have at their age. There is a particular fearlessness, and yet one tempered by a dose of common sense. Additionally, though conversation, it becomes apparent they have an innate ability to connect with, while respecting the personage of the other. Each conversation reveals yet another atypical experience, which seems to help weave an incredible quilt, one that both gives them comfort and a freedom to face whatever the season might offer. I think this is one of the more surprising things I’ve experienced from them. The ability to land on their feet, the resilience is palpable. And yet, they have revealed some of the struggles to maintain their nomadic trek. The responsibility for managing all aspects of one’s existence in the midst of a changing location, traveling the immense boundaries of the country is only the beginning. Knowing how to respond to any contingency that might arise requires more than simple resilience. From the basic mechanical to maintaining a house on wheels, there can be little doubt that being the proverbial Jack-of-all-trades is efficacious. Networking on the road is not an easy thing accomplished, but they have done that on multiple occasions and established that ability on numerous levels. Such an ability requires the ability to be affable while being wise, thoughtful, and flexible. Those abilities are all apparent as you converse with them, amazed by their stories of the road.

And yet that is only the beginning. It would be easy to question their methods if one considered only appearance, be it from the vintage-ability they possess. It is certainly possible to pass them off as simply tall, statuesque, and head-turning, which are all attributes readily apparent, but what you would miss. Their ability to articulate a thoughtful and dedicated feminist mindset is quite stunning, even more than the beauty that radiates in any place they occupy. It is their frank and experiential honesty that will most intrigue you should you take the time to move beyond your initial shock of their physicality. Each time we end of chatting, I walk away with a renewed sense of admiration and hope. They have certainly taken the road less traveled (and the incredible pun in that statement is not unnoticed by me). I asked it they had an estimate of mileage and while it is less than anticipated, it is still substantial. Hearing some of their moments from numerous Burning Man events to traversing the entire breadth of I-80 or working their way north to south and back again, visiting Joshua Tree or passing through the solitude of Wyoming in the Fall or Winter is not for the faint of heart. Standing on the shore of the Great Salt Lake or experiencing the wilds of Western Texas is memorable (I know this from experience), but it is easy to get swallowed up in the vastness of it all. And certainly their stories show there are moments, but perhaps it is their self-identified whimsical love for the world that both propels and protects them. Their incredible combination of both a child-like playfulness and the savviness of a world traveler is what provides the ability to land on their feet.

It is their birthday as I finish this blog, and it is my present, albeit too small a gesture, for the unparalleled goodness they have displayed over these last weeks. You are wished a most glorious day. Thank you for the conversations, the insights, and the honesty. To the times our paths might cross as we get ready to go down our own roads. I wish you blessings, safety, and sense of peace. I think the possibilities are endless. We have spoken of angels, and so this song is for you. Thank you for your angelic ways.

To everyone else, thank you for reading.

Dr. Martin

Is Frailty a Gift?

Hello from the front tables at La Malbec,

This a somewhat quiet Saturday evening (with the exception of wannabe Fast and Furious cars or Harleys that need to prove they have customized their exhaust), and I am sitting almost exactly in the same place I first experienced La Malbec. It is only me alone rather than about 10 other people, but I am certainly glad that Roxana’s hope and concept for an upscale dining option in Bloomsburg has thrived. Certainly, there have been moments, but her vision for what might work here in Bloomsburg and beyond was accurate.

I sit here, both inside and out, at times with my computer, working while I dine, enjoy a beverage, or simply a snack (of sorts). I will always remember that first night colleagues, an incredible doctor, who later did some surgery on me, and my meeting of the owner and her husband and how the evening progressed. It was the beginning of what has become a gift in my life, both because of my appreciation for food and wine, but more significantly because of the incredible goodness of two people and extended family. What an expected gift. As noted, I sometimes find family outside of family. That does not make my own family less important, as demonstrated by my choices over the next months. However, I have been blessed beyond measure by the incredible people and cultures that have crossed my path since I first left my NW Iowa upbringing. As reflection seems central to my daily existence, surely prompted by retirement, I find myself appreciating small things that can often be overlooked, often unappreciated for their importance.

When I arrived in Bloomsburg mid-August of 2009, I was struggling more than many believed. I was leaving behind a woman in her 80s I had promised to care for. I had an incredible person living in the carriage house who meant more to me than I could figure out, and I had just experienced a failure of sorts as I hope to become a tenured professor. My former and now present colleague (and eventual chair and younger brother of sorts) would shepherd me through my new position, and his collegiality and friendship are paramount to where I am today. He is also never hesitant to tell me that he encouraged my application because it was a professionally helpful thing for the department. I actually admire that from him. As I move rapidly toward the completion of my professional life, I believe the thing that has changed is my willingness to be honest about my weaknesses. I actually told Dr. Daniel Riordan that was the most important thing I learned at Stout. I had learned to be comfortable with those aspects of myself that were not so wonderful, so capable, so admirable. It is not something I could have imagined earlier in life, which is the consequence of experiences, expectations, and my own frailty.

Weakness is something exploited, something perceived as a flaw, something to be hidden from view. I believe much of our current world discord occurs for this very reason. We all know the clichés that prop of these very practices. However, at what cost? The cost is honesty; the cost is opportunity; the cost creates a lack of possibility. If we are not allowed to have weaknesses, we inadvertently argue for perfection, which is unattainable. Too often we find others, or we even do it to ourselves, asking why something is not better. I remember not being satisfied with an A, but asking why it was not a better A. The number of times students ask what do I need to do to get that A means that the only thing that really counts is the grade. What about the learning that occurs. Education is not about letters it is about knowledge; it is about achieving, but doing something to the best of one’s ability. But even that is not a static thing, as what one does on a given day is dependent on a number of external factors that go way beyond how someone prepared. As importantly as realizing that we have become perfection-driven, it is as significant to understand how we got here. Perfectionism can paralyze someone . . . but from where does it originate? Some of it is mental, but some is experiential. Shaming is one of the main contributors to our desire for this unattainable standard. Consider this carefully. how many of us have been afraid to admit a grade, a score, the result of an interview or an interaction of some kind because we are ashamed? The inadequacy that we experience is a combination of both self esteem and what our experience has taught us. Being goal oriented, having a plan and self-expectation is not wrong, and there are a number of positive consequences of being such, but when does it go too far? This actually returns to my recent conversation about balance.

I have noted throughout the years of this blog how the expectation of a parent was many times detrimental to me. The words that told me I was not worthy of being in their house as an adopted person, that I would not amount to anything, the belittling that was a common occurrence affected my schooling throughout my growing up, it affected how I saw myself among my peers and classmates, and now, looking back, I believe it has affected how I understand intimacy and relationships, particularly with partners, throughout my life. In all of that, I realize how frail I am in certain ways. Some tell me that I am too honest or revealing at times in this blog, but the reason I write is two-fold. When I write about an issue I begin to understand and manage it more effectively. And just perhaps I have something someone else my find helpful. That might be the more important part of this platform, this space I have created over the past decade plus. Certainly it is not what I expected when I first wrote a post. In fact, I am working on some additional possibilities because of responses from many readers, and that has required, in part that I go back through what I have written (which is at times disconcerting) and ponder how to organize some of it. The frailty reality continues to plague me from time to time. I do believe I have made progress overall, that is for certain, but I know, for instance, when my chair sends an email asking me to call, my immediate reaction is what did I do?

And yet can this over-concern be a gift? I think there is another aspect to experiencing frailty, and then admitting it. It pushes away any need to be perfect, and additionally, it encourages compassion and empathy. Compassion and empathy seem to be something our current world is lacking. The discord, the lack of decorum, the unwillingness to imagine the possibility of the other removes the chance that we can find common ground. This is something that happens across the gamut of our human interactions, one on one to what underlies the incredible deadly situations in both Central Europe or Israel and Gaza. As I have noted, having written a dissertation on Bonhoeffer as well as experiencing Dachau, Buchenwald, and Auschwitz, I am well acquainted with why Israel has developed what they have to ensure their existence. And again, to be honest, while I have some basic understanding of the Palestinian issues, from self determination to a two-state solution, the various militant groups and their existence in Gaza, Lebanon, Jordan, Syria, and beyond, I cannot find a way that justifies the number of civilian casualties in Rafah or Gaza in general. A lack of compassion and empathy for the other seems to be a principle part of this issue. Total destruction of the other is not logical. IT has not worked in the past, and I do not think it will in our current situation.

Our human frailty and its reality have been apparent to me on another level this past week. One of my undergraduate classmates lost her sister, and the loss of a sibling is always stunning. It is difficult when someone you have known every minute of your life leaves this world. I remember when my older brother passed at 26. It was the first time I ever saw my father cry, and I was in my twenties. That was a life-altering moment for me. And then a student I had in classes at UW-Stout, a friend on FB, but not one I am regularly in touch with, in spite of a significant closeness at one point, would be approaching the end of a decade, one of those I am ____ for the fifth time birthdays. So I thought it would be great to reach out. His wife, who I know, but have not met, wrote back to me on FB messenger. He had passed away in January in his late 30s of esophageal cancer. In the 12+ hours since I spoke with her, I cannot get this out of my head. We had ridden motorcycles together. He had done an internship at Harley at one point, and I had given them suggestions for their honeymoon in Ireland. What a gut-punch. We simply go on, and there are so many things that are happening to those who we once crossed paths with, those we saw on a daily basis, but then we move, we change, and we lose track. There is that perfectionism rearing its head. While I can realize I do not keep up with 9,000+ students, nor can I, moments like last evening are heart-wrenching. And yet, his wife was gracious and we had a chance to catch up and there will be more conversations. I am feeling a bit frail this morning, but that frailty is about care and compassion. I am glad I have those qualities.

Thank you as always for reading.

Dr. Martin

Holy Water and the Burning Man

Hello on a beautiful, but seemingly summer day here in Bloomsburg,

I spoke with some of my Wisconsin contacts today, and they were looking at some different possibilities than I as I am currently sitting out enjoying the cooling weather as the sun sets. We did not have much of a Spring, and it appears the next week will bring in the Summer. The other day as I was listening to Weekend Edition on NPR, there was a news story in which a person used the phrase that is the title for this blog. It hit me at the time, and I wrote the phrase down. To be honest, I do not remember the story’s point, but the phrase spoke to me about my understanding of faith and my own battle, my struggle to believe in a compassionate creator when I see a world that seems to lack so much, particularly when it comes to care and compassion. I have noted at other times, my adherence to Lutheranism as a denominational focus of my personal piety is based on Luther’s keen insight into our broken humanness.

During the past week, I have spoken with friends who are struggling with their relationship; I have listened to students who are honestly struggling with their mental health; and I have been afforded the opportunity to spend time with those who made a significant difference in my life when I first met the first of the family in my Summer composition course over a decade ago. In the midst of those events I found myself pondering the hurt that often occurs in our lives, often because of no fault (or seeming fault) of our own. In each of the situations noted, the pain and anguish was palpable. And as importantly, there is no simple answer or fix. The brokenness of individuals was plainly evident, but there is no quick fix, no pill, and certainly no one thing that will remedy the difficulty. Luther understood this clearly when he noted this incredibly profound systematic in only four words: simul justus et peccator. The ability to be holy and sinner at the same time. More than once during the past week, people told me I am a principled person. That is a tribute, and one I am not sure I can always manage. I do remember a conversation with Dr. Laurie Whitt, an incredibly brilliant professor I had while I was working on my doctorate at Michigan Tech. It was her requirement that I read Sisela Bok’s works that probably did as much as anything to push me toward a deontological methodology for my life. It is not an easy thing to do, and that was certainly true when I was younger. As a person in my twenties and thirties, I worried too much about what the other thought. I was too easily swayed by the opinions, the wishes, or the wants of the other. Sometimes, people are asked if they could meet anyone in history who would it me? Luther is that person for me. I think he was probably curmudgeonly, but also probably wryly humorous.

Luther understood misdirection, revision, and struggling to make sense of a world that told him something very different than what seemed plausible. From his near-death lightening experience that would push him to theology to his standing before the Diet of Worms, which resulted in his imperial ban and excommunication from the church, he understood the fear of God to be something much different than Catholic dogma preached. It was through his own isolation and fervent study of scripture that Paul’s Book of Romans revealed the truth of the Gospel to him. The incredible graciousness of a creator was not to be feared but rather embraced. Luther’s amazing phrase throughout The Small Catechism is in the imperative – “We are to fear and love God so that . . . ” it is about reverence and respect, but it is in that process that we begin to know God, which is to achieve some knowledge of God. All of that about a concept of or knowledge of could be an entirely different post, and it is not where I am headed. I want to return to the idea that we often to do achieve everything we hope. The thread of retirement is unavoidable for me as I focus on all the things that are on my immediate horizon, but likewise, the reflection on what has happened as well as what might have been is also somewhat fated. So many times our need to control the options creates a loss of opportunity, the erasure of possibility. The incredible “if only” moments in life. There are also the learning moments, things we hope we never experience again, but likewise moments needed for some dramatic or powerful change in direction, that revision that provides a rethinking, a reconsidering of our own somewhat stagnant status quo. Often, because of the emotional turmoil such events might create, hesitate to imagine a positive outcome; we fail to ponder where such a change might offer hope.

I wonder what Luther must have thought hearing the edict of Charles V, the Holy Roman Emperor, which made him a fugitive, someone who could be killed on sight. I cannot imagine what a faithful person, which I believe he was, to be excommunicated for what he believed was based the graciousness of God. And yet with the assistance of Frederick, the Wise, the elector of Saxony, Luther was skirted away to Wartburg Castle, and this was where he came to his crowning theological understanding of my grace through faith. Often, as I consider difficult points in my life, times of struggle, my path forward is best understood through solitude. The ability to find a place of quietness, of contemplative solace, provides a chance for making sense of that which seems non-sensical. Finding that place in our technologically saturated world is no easy task, but it is something I have learned to search for, or to intentionally create. During the last months, the realization that I am more comfortable as a solitary person was difficult in some ways. It has hurt another person I admire and do appreciate, but nearly a quarter century of being single has consequence. While there is a freedom to that, there is also the need for balance. One of the things I find most difficult is balance, and yet the title is about that very thing. Again, that is where Luther seems to understand our human dilemma so completely. One of the most burdensome things for me is knowing when to step away, allowing my need for rejuvenate to become a priority to come to the forefront. Why is it so arduous? Because my general reaction is to feel selfish, in spite of my realization that self-care is essential. Perhaps, more importantly, it is because I do not communicate that reality very well. My way of managing it, in spite of my ability to communicate pretty effectively in many ways, is to clam up . . . to disappear . . . and yes, I am probably guilty of that ghosting term that is often used today. There is a security in solitude that I understand to be of more importance than I once realized. There are moments where I completely fail those around me, and yet seldom is that failure intentional. It is most often done because of my own fear. Fear, there is that word again, in this situation is the very fear of failure, and yet that fear creates the failure. Quite the dilemma. How is it I have managed so many places where I have to be in front of people, even on a regular basis, and be comfortable, successful? It is because to some extent, I am in control of those situations. I did not always understand that dynamic until I stepped back and pondered it. Whether it is in front of a classroom, in a pulpit, or even as a server, what I do is somewhat scripted, it is both predictable as well as highly unpredictable. Hegel and his dialectic seem to be an essential part of my existence.

One of the most significant things I continue to learn or attempt to practice is being gracious with myself. That is often a bit onerous. I am ready and willing to take blame for things, and accepting the gift of forgiveness, the reality of my frailty, is not something easily done. The important cleaning power of water both internally and externally should not be underestimated. There was a time, after being encouraged by my New Testament Professor Dr. Donald Juel, I pondered studying with him at Yale (he unfortunately passed away) to focus on the incredible sacrament of baptism. The water prayer, as it is called, part of the baptismal liturgy, is so powerful, both in its language, but also in its consequence. The unparalleled repercussions of water and word change not only the trajectory of life, but also what it does to our relationships. It is the rationale for the later liturgical element where the congregation addresses the baptized. It is always stunning to me how we work continuously, sometimes aware, but most often imperceptibly, to manage our dual nature as humans. Luther’s systematic genius in his four-word Latin phrase provides the hope we need to face each day with an assurance that there is grace. It is in that grace I find the ability to wake and walk forward in a sense of grace and hope. I remember when this song first came out. Dr. Juel and I listened to, and where amazed by, the reality that such a profound phrase would find itself into a mainstream rock song.

Thank you as always for reading.

Dr. Martin