Hello at the end of a variable month,
This week we’ve ushered in the fall, the harvest- and color-centric of the seasons. I have noted how this season is so significant for us both literally and figuratively in my recent posting, and certainly, those thoughts are central to me as the fall equinox has arrived. As I look out my window, the tree I’ve mentioned is brilliant reds with some green, a hint of orange. It’s the first to reveal what it offers in the changing pallet that will take up the next month or so. In literally hours, the Bloomsburg Fair will begin, and the traffic has already begun. Being on top of your game throughout town, but particularly on the West end is the order of the day for the next 10-12 days. Over the years, my fair attendance has been across the board from being there most days to some years not going at all. This year, I do plan to volunteer at the Veterans’ table. Additionally, for the first time, as noted in my last blog, I’ve purchased tickets for one of the grandstand concerts.
Over the past few months I’ve been working diligently to understand a time in my life when I was certainly not the healthiest physically or emotionally as one might hope. As such, and the word damaged was used recently to describe me, regardless intentions, which were good at times and not so good at others, created a lot of struggle, a boatload of drama, and most assuredly, some long-term consequence. Furthermore, even now, in spite what I do believe were my purest and best of intentions, not everything went as well as I hoped. However, not all was in vain, to be sure. For the first time, in what will be 26 years, I have taken the time to reflect carefully, honestly, and intentionally on a period of my life that covers some of the happiest and also devastating moments of my life. From that self-examination and scrutiny, from working with some serious degree of indefatigableness, I believe I have a better sense of those 5-6 years than I ever had before. I worked carefully to not cast any blame nor disagree with anything written, and to take as much accountability as I could. I did not argue perception or memory, and the only time I responded to some points was when what I was told was grossly inaccurate or just plain false/
What all of it did was push me to contemplate the connection to intention and consequence. It compelled me to return to some of my reading that I did when I was preparing for my comprehensive exams for my doctorate. Sissela Bok, the Swedish-American philosopher, notes that lying includes “any intentionally deceptive message which is stated.” This means the person communicating must realize what is being offered is false. Let me provide an example that Bok, herself, uses. Let’s say you come in from the outside and someone asks (perhaps because the forecast notes or the weather looks threatening), “Is it raining?” Let’s say they are wondering if they immediately need an umbrella. When you came in, it was not raining, so you answer simply, “No.” So they go out without the umbrella, and when they get to the door, it is raining hard. So is that an example of a lie? In Bok’s definition it would be no, but might the person believe you lied? That answer is not such a simple no. I begin with this because not all of us understand the idea of lying as something that easy. Likewise, not all understand deception as something easily defined. Yet, perhaps that is another blog. I want to focus on the idea of intent and consequence, as my title suggests. The two things together form an area of study titled normative ethics because it connects internal thought to external results.
When one begins to look at the morality of intent, one comes face-to-face with Kant’s deontology. Kant’s categorical imperative asserts the only good is good will, and that is the basis of anything positive, and let what if good intent leads to a negative consequence because of some unexpected failure of sorts? It is here we find Thomas Aquinas’s Doctrine of Double Effect, where he argues it is morally worse to intend harm than unintentionally cause it. The consequence could be the same, but they are morally different. It can also be viewed through the utilitarianism of Bentham and Mill, which pushes us into a teleological ethic, which of course argues as long as the consequence is positive, all is well. The problem, of course, limits or eliminates intent. Certainly we can maintain this all as a philosophical discussion, but my interactions the last month, in particular, as well as reality of how the latest encounter seems to have completed, the question of intent and consequence is a classic exemplar of this proverbial question of hope (intent) and result (consequence). As I’ve pondered the questions of why the situation appeared from the outset or as I’ve shared with a few who know this area of my history, the same two possibilities seem to be offered. And yet, I am quite unsure if either are true or if perhaps it is a combination or neither. I really am not able to offer any conclusive answers. And then again, perhaps that does not matter. While I do not have any sure fire way of determining the intent, beyond the stated question of why, I am pretty sure of the consequence. And, to be fair, I am not completely convinced the stated why is totally the reason.
In part, regardless intent, it also appears the consequence is not the same for all, which posits the question of the moral goodness of it all. In spite of my real hope that something helpful would occur for everyone, I am not sure that occurred. In spite what I do believe was some honest work by all, again, it seems the goal lies beyond where things ended. And yet were the goals the same? Was success possible? As I’ve read back through everything written, while it seems the goal of why was still being worked toward; the attempt to be open, vulnerable, and effective was both achieved at moments and lost in others. Perhaps because of the hurt on both sides of the equation; maybe because each person was working but not necessarily as in tandem as initially thought. Possibly the lapse in time and memory are too significant to compensate for the struggles that were so commonplace during that time. So what was accomplished? As I noted often in the exchange, I can only speak about what I am feeling because they cannot be argued. While I am feeling some sadness that not everything was seeming achieved for anyone, I am feeling relieved that I put more work and thought into a time that needed some unwrapping and clarification. While I am feeling a strong level of concern and genuine sorrow for where things are for their long-term situation, and I wish only good for each of them, I am feeling some sense of repletion, though believing I still have some pondering to do. Finally, regardless my best attempts to do the right thing, my intent to work through, the consequence was not as good as my intent to be sure. If I think about from only my side, it might seem possible to feel some greater satisfaction, but I wished for something better, more mutually efficacious. Certainly, this was not something I anticipated happening back in the Spring when I was contacted, so there were no “best laid plans” so to speak. I tried to do the best I could, and, at least at this time, I am grateful for that. Sometimes, our frailty is the winner, no matter what.
Thank you as always for reading,
Michael
