Hello in the middle of a holiday weekend,
Phrases like “it’s the most wonderful time . . . I’m dreaming of . . . In the lane snow is glistening . . . Marshmallows for toasting . . . It’s Christmas time in the city . . . I’ll be home for Christmas.” fill the airwaves, the store soundtracks, or our memories as we move toward the hopefulness that seems synonymous with the season that begins with a week more until the first day of Advent. While I am certainly grateful for the kindness this season seems to bring out in so many individuals, there is still the truthful, and for some, painful actuality that this month, which culminates in Christmas and a rewinding (or real moving forward) to to another year, can be stressful, might be agonizing, or the lengthening darkness might overwhelm the bright, as the shortening days of the winter seem to permeate all crannies of our temporary existence. And yet, yearly, it seems that I find a sense of hopefulness as I allow myself, though much later than retailers, to turn toward Advent and what it means.
It was my first trip to Germany as a student at Dana College that I began to understand Advent as something much more than the time before Christmas, and it was reinforced in that second trip when I was a student in seminary. Advent, the season of lighted weekly candles, candles named hope, love, joy, and peace, the season of preparedness for something yet to come – it is all of that, but more as I would learn. Those trips to the land of Luther did more to help me understand the liturgical differences of Advent and Christmas than anything ever did, and it changed my appreciation for both. What I realize now is it help me differentiate the elements of hope and reality, but also to understand their connection. Hope is an incredibly important piece of our humanity. It is what keeps us going. I have considered the issue of hope from other perspectives, but hope from a liturgical sense, from a preparedness perspective, provides something that takes us from the real to the possible. What I realize at this point, as someone who is moving into a different phrase of their life, hope is the consequence of preparation. Hope is something that moves us toward the possible. It is essential if we are to commit to the changes that are often too difficult to fathom. It is the substance of moving from a place of despair, seeing more than darkness and believing that change is something within one’s grasp. While certainly some of this is based on my Lutheran heritage, much of it is also based on an unfailing belief that we have agency and accountability for ourselves on a daily basis.
As I have often noted, there are many experiences from which I could be disillusioned, still bitter. There were words, phrases, and actions that did much that caused me to question my place, my self-worth, and my value, many of them undeserved, many of them in the moment overwhelming. My agency, my self-advocacy came through some small ember that smoldered inside me, eventually bursting into that flame that pushed me to see an option for something better. It was hope and trust in something greater than myself that allowed me to wistfully imagine a possibility for something more promising. And yet, from where did that hope or trust emanate? It came from real people, a grandmother who, as noted, loved me unconditionally, a church member, another Marine, who served as a surrogate father of sorts, and parents of a co-worker when I had come home from the service. I learned that I needed the support of others as I struggled to make sense of who I was, where I was headed, and what I hoped I might do with my life. Each of those individuals created a possibility, provided an opportunity, and offered something that had incredible value as I stumbled along, wondering where it would all lead. It was not until I had made it through the Marine Corps, wandered a bit more and found my way to Dana College I began to really see who I was, or more accurately, what my potential was. There had been glimpses, but nothing sustained. It was on that Nebraska bluff that I first found potential; I found hope. And yet, as long as someone was able to make me question, those questions loomed large. It was when they were no longer there I could begin to process all that had happened. By that time I was a parish pastor. My colleague and senior pastor looked at me intently as I returned from that time in Sioux City in August of 1989, and stated rather intently, “I want you to go to counseling about your mother.” While on one hand, I wanted to rebel, believing I knew what I needed, but deep down, I knew he was correct. That work was the beginning of what would begin twenty years of work on my past.
In spite of all I had accomplished, there was a hollowness, an emptiness that no person nor success could heal. Once upon a time, the counselor, who worked with me for 6 years through graduate school, noted the difference between my professional and personal life, but he also noted that there were times that struggle to be good enough, to be work enough, to succeed enough in either realm would never happen because I would not let it. That is a stunning statement to hear, but more importantly one to comprehend. What is enough? There is no amount if there is no hope. It was not what I was or wasn’t doing, it was what I did to mollify my struggling, my damaged, self-esteem. What causes us to lose sight of hopefulness? It is because our reality is unfulfilling, and yet that begs the question, what will create a serenity in one’s life? Too often I found it easier to prevaricate anything that forced me to be introspective. Any such self-observation was painful because it caused those negative voices and actions to bubble to the surface and I was incapable of dealing with them. So it begs the question of what happened to change it? Distance from the time where that was the basic atmosphere that was either created for or self-created is part of it. Being in a situation where I felt valued is most certainly another. However, most importantly, those two things allowed me to be contemplative in a way that I faced those demons of sorts. I was strong enough and brave enough to be honest with myself. Again back to the connection of what is real and where is there hope?
The title of the blog seems to indicate they are different, polar opposites of sorts, but I have concluded that is the problem. Reality is our life; it must be dealt with, but what comes to the rescue when our reality seems to overwhelm us? It is the ability to see something, to believe something, to hope for something different. Note — I did not say better. Difference causes us to rethink, reassess, reimagine. Difference, is the same thing I speak with students about in their writing. It is, in composition terms, revision. Our lives are full of revision, a new school, a new job, a new house, a new car, and each time we are offered that revision, think about how you feel. It is something that offers hope. Hope always occurs within the reality of our lives, but too often we fail to see it. Hope is not something that beams through like the morning sun in an Eastern window – it can be, but often it is more like the Advent candle, a flicker of a single flame reminding us that there is still darkness, but that is not all there is. As I finish this week of classes, the last week before finals (and I do not have any of them), tomorrow will be the last day I am face-to-face in my teaching career in the academy. How did I get here? That is my reality this morning as I write this, and while there is a profound mixture of thoughts and emotions, and I am in the whirlpool of commenting, grading, preparing for a winter session and one last new prep in the Spring, I know tomorrow will be overwhelming to me. As always, there are so many student stories and they too are overwhelmed. If they are freshmen, this first finals period is daunting. If they are graduating in a week, doing final senior seminar presentations, and preparing to do that “adulting” thing, they too are beyond frightened. And yet for all of them, I pray they see a hopefulness. Regardless the grade in a class, in spite of any sense of what if?, whether they are ready or not, the semester, or their time as a student at Commonwealth, will finish. And I believe now, perhaps more than ever, and in spite of the panoptic worry about our world, the students going into today’s world are more diverse, more accepting, and more capable than any student group in history. It will require thoughtfulness, careful analysis, and the belief that they can make a difference. I see them daily, and I listen to their thoughts and concerns. It seems impossible that four years have passed since my brilliant colleague, and soul of our department, left this world. Dr. Terry Riley was known for his ability to be a realist and yet hope for the goodness in his students. He also taught us, his colleagues so much. As Advent is upon us, I wish you all hope and yes, love for the other. I wish you joy in your preparation for this holy season, and I wish you peace both in your hearts and in your relationships.
Thank you as always for reading,
Dr. Martin
thewritingprofessor55 
Dr. Martin,
I truly enjoyed reading this post.
This time of year is somewhat bittersweet for me. I have so many incredible, yet emotional memories from my childhood. With that said, this post made me think of them a little differently, and I want to thank you for that. I used to somewhat despise this time of year because of all of the memories I have, but after reading this I feel like I should be embracing this time of year as a way to sort of celebrate those memories. I tend to try to forget about things because I do not like to be an emotional person, but those memories have helped to shape me into who I am today.
For example, when I was younger, every year I would go out with my grandfather and we would put Christmas decorations everywhere on his property. It was always right around this time of year. It became a tradition. I do not even remember how old I was when I started doing it, but I do remember how difficult it was being a young child, no older than at least 5-6, being out in the cold for hours. I was very stubborn and driven. I remember my grandfather constantly offering me breaks to warm up, and I would tell him “I’m good! Let’s keep going.” I remember the last time we did it he looked at me and said, “Soon you will be doing this, and I will be the one helping you.” I will never forget that. This experience I had with him has played into me being as stubborn and driven as I am. I do not like to take breaks, even when I should. I do not like to stop in the middle of completing something. Watching my grandfather, and also having the joy of sharing this experience with him helped to create my work ethic.
I like how you discussed reality and hope, and I completely agree. I also like how you compared difference to revision. I think that was something I had never really thought about, but it occurs all the time. I think that is something that may often frighten people. Revision means change, and people often try to avoid it. With revision comes growth, and we can strengthen our papers through revision. I think the same goes for life. Although change is hard, it is something that we can learn and hopefully grow from. People should be embracing it, not trying to avoid it.
As for tomorrow, good luck! I want to wish you nothing but the best! I have only known you for a few months now, but I can certainly say that you have already made a huge impact on my life. I guarantee that many others would say the same.
As always, thank you for writing this blog post!
Good evening Dr. Martin,
I first want to start by saying that just like you, I find winter to be a dull, yet hopeful time of year. I was never into the long dark nights, the bitter cold, and the dreary days that come with the winter season. In all honesty, Christmas lost that magic feeling for me a long time ago. Back when I was younger, my parents were together, which meant spending the holidays together as a family. After they got divorced, it hasn’t been the same. We are never together as a family anymore and that feeling of waking up at the crack of dawn and rushing downstairs to open up presents is gone. Over the past few years, however, I have begun to get more excited over watching others open their presents as opposed to me opening mine. I remember when I was super young, I would always want to be the first one to open up all my presents. Now, I let everyone else go first because it brings me more joy to see what my family got over what I got.
When it comes to Advent, I remember being super young and looking at it as the countdown to Christmas. I used to go to a Catholic church years ago and on the altar, there would be a stand of four candles; hope, peace, joy, and love. Every year when Christmas came around and I would go to church, I used to get super anxious every time a candle was lit, knowing that Christmas was just a few weeks away. As I have gotten older, I have matured and realized that Advent is not just about counting down the day until Christmas day, it is a celebration of Jesus and the month he was born in. As I grew older, I eventually became an altar server at my church. Here, I learned what it means to be a true Christian and follow in the footsteps of God. I was able to get closer to my religion as a result and will be forever grateful for such an amazing experience.
I feel that as you get older and begin to mature, you start to appreciate the small things more than the big things. As a kid, I used to be super greedy around the holidays. I would only worry about myself and what I was getting for presents. I never worried about anyone else and if I didn’t get everything on my list, I would get upset. Now, I am more than happy to say that my mindset has changed drastically. Instead of being grateful solely for the presents that I am getting, I am also grateful that I have a roof over my head and a family that loves me unconditionally. I am grateful for the friends that I have by my side no matter what. I am also grateful that I can bless those around me. For me, Christmas is all is all about giving to others. My biggest source of happiness comes from making others happy. If I can make someone smile, then I know that I am doing something right, which is all that matters to me in the end.
Dr. Martin
Thank you for this thoughtful and well written post. I enjoyed reading every word.
This time of year, always brings a mix of emotions. During the holiday season, I am reminded of my family members who are no longer with us and the memories that I have with them. While this can be sad, it is good to reminisce and look back on those times. These memories have helped me to be the person I am today and reflecting on those are beneficial and bring joy. Holidays are important to reunite families and spend quality time with your loved ones. Your post helped me to reflect on these times and be hopeful for the future memories.
Hope and reality are not something that I have thought about at the same time. While reading your thoughts about this I really enjoyed hearing about the differences between them. As a student of yours, I am familiar with the word revision and it’s importance. Revision is something that can be applied to all aspects of life. As humans we are constantly revising our lives one way or another.
Best of luck in the future! I hope you have a great holiday season!
Dr. Martin,
Throughout my life, every winter brings a different feeling. Throughout childhood, it signaled the start of the Christmas season. When I transitioned into high school, I wouldn’t be seeing daylight due to winter sports and the sun setting so early. This winter also signals the end of another chapter in my life as I graduate from college and begin my full-time job in January.
I was raised catholic and still am. As a result, I was always supposed to look at the real meaning of Christmas. Although, being a straightforward child, Christmas usually was about the gifts I’d receive or the big meals I’d be eating. It is bittersweet; I’d often visit my grandparents on Christmas Eve and then attend Christmas Eve mass at night. The Christmas season truly brought about feelings that no other holiday provided. Unfortunately, things have slowed significantly since COVID-19, and we didn’t want to risk spreading the infection.
As time passes, I’ve been looking at moving closer to where I’ll work in Tampa, Florida. When I move, this will be a huge 180 from what I’m used to with the snowy, cold winters. This semester has been one of my best experiences solely due to the smaller workload I decided to take on due to me grinding through all of my difficult classes in my Sophomore and Junior years. To me, hope is something that I use to help get me through times of difficulty. Whenever there is a challenge that may be difficult to overcome, if I have hope and keep my future in mind, things will turn out okay most of the time.
Your perspective on the different revisions we go through in our lives is interesting. There have been times when I have worked hard for something but may not have gotten it. Sometimes, something good may happen, which helps relieve my mind. This winter, there are going to be many revisions in my life. During the past semester, I have worked every week to save money to afford to buy a vehicle this winter and prepare for moving. Not only that, but I’ll be looking into moving out within a few months. These life events make me anxious but excited for a hopeful future with many challenges and successes and the next chapters in life.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the season. I hope you have a restful winter break before your final semester here at Bloomsburg.
Dr Martin,
Thank you for sharing this raw part of yourself. The holidays can also be a tough time for me. Growing up I had a large family and we would spend Christmas together. Cousins, Uncles, Aunts, Great Aunts, you name it and they were there. Throughout the years members of my family have died which in turn killed our connections with the rest of the living members. Every Christmas since my seventh-grade year has just been my immediate family. It is utterly heartbreaking to long for that sense of comfort back and deep down know it will never be the same.
But alas, all I can do is hope. Hope that one day we may rekindle our relationships, hope that when I have a family of my own it does not turn out the same tragic way, and finally hope that eventually I can come to terms with this loss. It is very hard to mourn the living but it is harder to mourn a national holiday. At least you can somewhat avoid the living, but Mariah Carey never fails to sing her way into my life the day after Thanksgiving. Another reminder of the dreaded holiday season.
Without hope in the world, I think each person would be incredibly miserable. What is life and living if you don’t have something to look forward to? It is the experiences in life that make us question whether or not there will ever be hope for our humanity again, that prove to make finding the tiny glimpses all the more personal. I do not have my blood relatives this season but I do have amazing people in my life that I will forever consider to be my family. They are my hope in a future filled with wonder and mystery. Because let’s face it, ruminating on what the future holds can cause a spiral of anxiety for any mind.
Good evening Dr. Martin,
As we approach winter, I feel the onset of seasonal depression. My days have felt particularly short this week as I have fallen back into my school routine of going to class and completing work. By the time I do all of that, it seems that the day is already over. Although the day has not technically shortened in length, darkness signals to my body that the day has concluded. Despite winter days being particularly dreary and their potential to evoke sad emotions, I feel that winter should be viewed as a time to rest. Nothing blooms all year round, so why should we? Being okay with deviating from the grind and allowing yourself that time to heal and be seemingly unproductive is an important step in getting through those winter months.
Christmas is a special yet emotional time of year for many people. Each year at the dinner table I make sure to say a prayer for loved ones who are no longer with us. I pray for those who are alone on Christmas, for those who haven’t a roof over their head, for the sick, etc. As a child, Christmas seemed to be a form of competition on who received the most gifts. My friends would boast about the amount of gifts that were under their tree and would ramble about the price value of the gifts they received. Because many parents did not teach their children about the true meaning of Christmas, I felt inferior as a child. As I aged, I realized that Christmas is not about gifts at all, rather it is about what you can do for others. I enjoy buying gifts for others more than I enjoy buying things for myself. This is because nothing can compare to the joy I feel seeing others happy. Christmas is a time to do for others as well as for those who are less fortunate than you are.
Towards the end of your blog you mention that when reality becomes overwhelming, it is our job to hope for something different, but not necessarily better. This truly resonated with me as I am transferring universities next semester. I have not been myself for the entirety of the semester because of one thing: I am simply not happy here. I have tried and tried over the course of the semester to make this work for me, but I was unsuccessful. I came to a final decision over Thanksgiving break and stuck with it. Although it is a massive hit to my pride, I am sticking with the fact that in order to improve my reality I need to invest in change. I do not know if my future college journey will be better or worse than the one I am currently experiencing, but I am holding onto hope in that deciding to make this change will be for the better. I am essentially revising my life, and in reading your blog post I feel that I made the right decision to pursue happiness.
I hope you have a blessed holiday season and thank you for this post!
Hello Dr. Martin
For a person with a positive mindset about the wintertime, Christmas and New Years can be the greatest and most enchanting times of the year for them. While I have for most of my life enjoyed the religious side of Christmas, the commercial side of Christmas has grown more and more disingenuous in my eyes as I’ve grown older. Many people enjoy the corporations show of music and lights as a fascinating spectacle rather despite the underlying tones of them treating this holiday as a shallow marketing ploy. It seems as if corporations want to shove as much American Christmas culture down the throats of consumers to make a buck, and usually the consumer gives in. Many people, me included, experience seasonal depression due to the shorter days and colder temperatures of the North American winter with no obvious way to alleviate it. And when the calendar year rolls over and there are no longer any more holidays to market for, the reality of the depressing and hopeless conditions of winter takes full effect. The corporations recognize this and want to take advantage of their negative emotions by giving them something joyful to cling onto all while luring them in to feed their money machine until the end of the year comes. The joke that Christmas comes earlier every year becomes less of laughing matter and more of a pessimistic remark on human’s natural instincts of greed.
On the complete opposite end of corporate Christmas, the Christian practice of advent during the month of December handles the holiday in a far more genuine way. The church, just like the corporations recognizes the hardship that goes along with the winter season but seeks to bring people together in the comfort of others. The gathering of a group of people to discuss and share the ideas of hope, love, joy, and peace at a time of the year when people need it the most is the best possible way to make a positive difference and change of attitudes. It’s a message that can be shared with the people closest to you and to complete stranger who might be looking for a shining light which continues to resonate far beyond the first of January. Church during advent helps the community stand together and grow as we all go about our daily lives in the season of bitter cold and endless darkness.
Dr. Martin,
As I think about the bleak winter season, I do not have a lot of hope for me. I wish I understood why. On the exterior, I have everything going for me. I have great, supportive parents, a twin sister who is always my rock, a girlfriend I care about deeply, terrific friends who support me, and a future open to many possibilities. Nonetheless, I feel hopeless. Advent has always been a fun time of year for my family. My mom always made sure we had Advent calendars filled with little pieces of chocolate to count down the days until Christmas. For some reason, this year is different. There is no Advent calendar; there are no signs of the holiday season at my parent’s home. Nothing external that has always brought me joy is present. I understand that hopefulness comes from within. Seeing your own potential also comes from somewhere deep inside, but as the days pass, I care less and less. Just a short month ago, I lost my grandfather to cancer. It was a quick decline, and he did not suffer long, but it had a profound impact on me. I wish I could explain why I feel so down and have lost the drive to perform to my highest potential. I know what I am going through are the stages of grief, but it seems deeper. I do not have the drive or ambition to reach my potential at the moment. Actually, I do not even know what my potential is right now.
Recently, my mom told me that she senses a shift in me, and she does not like it. She also suggested getting counseling. She did not receive a very warm or positive response from me. As I read your different blog posts, I realized just how self-aware I am not. I also realize that you have a few years on me and that maybe I have not reached that level of maturity yet. Normally, I would say I am working on it, or that I get it, but this year, this season; I am saying I simply do not care. I will eventually “snap-out” of this funk that I am in, but right now it seems far away. I know this post is not warm and certainly not holiday-appropriate, but your blogs are always open and honest and I wanted to return that sentiment. Thank you for giving me an outlet to voice my feelings.
Hello Dr. Martin,
I really like how you hit on the fact that the holiday season is one of the most depressing and hard times for some people. I know from my experience in the military on December 1st every year we get an email that talks about reaching out to those in need and helping others who might not have anyone else during the holiday season.
Your trip to Germany is very interesting and I always find how other countries celebrate holidays and have their own meanings or twist very fascinating. I personally like how you used it to deepen your understanding of the holiday season and in particular advent and Christmas.
I feel like many people these days tend to fight back against wanting other help or opinions because they don’t want to feel weak. Like when you said your pastor told you to go to seek counseling about your mom you didn’t like it at first. Thankfully you understood he was right, and it helped you in the long run.
Through reading this blog and many others I like how you seem to be constantly reflecting back on your life and your decisions to see what you would do differently if a similar instance came about. I feel like this is something I will take away from your class along with all the technical writing skills I leanred to help me improve my life going forward.
Thank you for the wonderful class and I wish you the best going forward.
Good evening Dr. Martin,
Christmas time has always been a wonderful part of my life. It was something that had always stayed consistent in life. My immediate family would celebrate on Christmas Eve, attend church, celebrate with my Mom’s side of the family on Christmas morning, and then hightail it to my Dad’s side in the afternoon. We’d do this every holiday season no matter the weather for most of my life, but this Christmas will be bittersweet because I will be by myself for most of it. My mother will be going to Chicago and My siblings will be on vacation with my dad (he and I haven’t had the best relationship so I will not be attending).
So, for this Christmas, there will be a lot of revision for me. I will have to rethink how go about this season and how it makes me feel. I might have to start new traditions since this might be the new “normal” even though nothing is ever normal.
I hope you enjoy your upcoming retirement, from what you’ve mentioned in class you definitely deserve it! I have really enjoyed your class this semester, which I find surprising because I normal dislike English courses. You are most definitely one of the best professors I have had in college because even though your course is challenging, you give out the resources to make it doable
Dr. Martin,
I hope your last week of classes is going well. As it happens, today was my last day of undergraduate classes ever. This is a thought that blows my mind. Although I still have finals and another semester of undergrad ahead of me, it will be different because I will make the transition from being a student stressed about my papers and tests to a teacher stressed about my students. I, like you, will be in a period of great transition in the spring when the academic year ends and I would have to agree that that thought sparks a lot of reflection and hope. I have carefully spent the last 3.5 years (and probably much before that) preparing to start my career. I feel prepared and that does give me hope. I am a person that tends to “live in the future” as they say. I am constantly preparing for the next stage in my life, actively working towards a goal. Which is a good thing to do but I often find myself forgetting to live in the here and now. Times of transition like this push me to reflect on how far I have come. This is cathartic in a way because we, as a society, tend to stress about what is happening now and what is coming up but fail to acknowledge the work we have already accomplished. Reflecting on what I have accomplished so far gives me hope for the future that I can make my goals a reality. But I will also keep in mind living in the moment and enjoying the spoils of the diligent work I have done over the years. I hope you have a great holiday season and last semester teaching in the spring! Thank you for the work you have done.
Dr. Martin,
I must agree, all of the Christmas phrases, smells, music, and even the decorations make me so excited for the holidays, it makes me feel like a kid again. Throughout your blog post, I noticed that you kept mentioning this thing called Advent, this is something I have never heard of. I took the time to do some research of my own so I could understand the background and purpose a bit better, and I think it is great that it is something you celebrate and look forward to every year. I have to agree with you and your view of hope and how it helps people to keep going but I particularly admire how you recognize that it is a consequence of preparation. Most people view hope as only a good thing and do not often realize that when hope does not become real, they become disappointed with their real lives. I would also like to thank you for being willing to open up about struggling to find yourself and admitting that you needed help from others even when you did not want to. That is something that is extremely hard to recognize and come to terms with, be proud of yourself. I also appreciate you sharing what helped you overcome that. I enjoyed your discussion about reality as that is what we live in, I agree with your point of view and how hope plays a part in reality.
Good luck with your last face-to-face class tomorrow, thank you for being a professor who is understanding and involved in their students’ lives, it provides more support than you know and is beyond appreciated.
Hi Dr. Martin,
I really enjoyed reading your post this evening.
Christmas and New Years are two of my favorite holidays; the feeling of being surrounded by loved ones is something I look forward to every year. I cherish these times, but for some reason this season I feel like enjoying the holidays will be a more difficult task.
As you stated in your blog, hope is a big part of New Years and Christmas. This time of year is all about feeling hopeful because a new year means new opportunities and the passing of time. Many people are excited about this time because a new year means a clean slate. I used to feel the exact same way. I was always so excited for the holidays and for the new year to come, but ever since I entered my twenties I have been dreading the passing of time. Now that I am entering adulthood, time seems to be flying by. Instead of feeling ready for change, I am afraid and constantly questioning if I am prepared enough for the next stage of my life. This looming anxiety about my future has made it harder to enjoy simple things, especially events like the holidays. The thought of family members asking me about my future plans makes me sick to my stomach even as I type it out.
I know that I should be excited about such a big change, but I can’t help but feel anxious about who I will become or where I will end up in the future. I still cling to hope, even though I stress about this change. Hope, like you stated, is an essential to humans. It allows us to keep pushing, even when things seem impossible. As I enter this frightening stage in my life, I have hope that things will turn out okay.
I appreciate your unique perspective regarding hope. I never thought about it that way. I’ve always thought about hope in the basic terms and never thought about how it could actually apply to my own life. Hearing how it made an impact in your life helps me to better appreciate the impact hope can have on people.
Also, it’s nice to hear that someone else has struggled to face their own demons. I’ve had some inner demons in my life that I try to avoid confronting because of the pain I feel when I have to bring them to my attention. Hearing your experience has provided some inspiration to face those demons in my future.
Dr. Martin,
To begin, I appreciate your time and effort to create a rather meaningful post. Unlike many, the winter season is one I cherish and appreciate for different reasons. The beautiful aesthetic of snowy evenings, family gatherings for the holidays, and extra layers of blankets in bed are all a few I enjoy. However, I view the winter season from other perspectives. Personally, it is a time to reflect on the success and hardships you faced as the year comes to an end and assess how the environment around you has changed you over the course of the year. It is a time when new goals are set and a feeling of a fresh new start is upon us.
Although I do not celebrate Christmas, being born and raised in arguably the most festive Christmas city New York, I have been accustomed to the traditions and joy that comes along with it. I do recommend those who have never seen New York City during this time of year to consider it because it is truly magnificent. The festive spirit among the community during this beautiful time is heartwarming and allows me to appreciate every small thing around me. Growing up, watching my friends tell me all about the presents and gifts they got from their loved ones was exciting, yet it was hard to deny my jealousy towards them. However, as I grow older, there are not many things that make me more delightful than watching kids open their Christmas gifts and seeing their faces filled with joy and excitement.
Before I end this post, I wanted to take some time to discuss hope and reality and how we should incorporate the two together. There will always come a time where reality strikes us in a way we would not have liked but life is never a linear path. We will always face struggles and hardships in our lives but it is exactly what forges us into the people we are today. We must always have hope within our hearts and trust that whatever is in store for us now or in the future, will only continue to develop us into smarter and better people. One thing that has changed my mindset recently is that every tragedy, hardship, or struggle always passes. No tragedy has ever stayed with someone forever and although it may sound basic or cliche, it truly changes your mindset when you accept the fact that with every hardship, comes ease. In addition, I believe the most valuable trait to have to become successful is a good attitude. A good attitude is all it can take to reach the next level and become who you want to be in life. I hope this holiday season can bring about a change in many people’s mindsets and create a sense of hopefulness for everyone around, no matter the situation.
Again, thank you, Dr. Martin, for your thoughts and insight on this meaningful post, and I wish you a safe and positive holiday season! -Ziad Zakik
Dr. Martin,
Growing up I loved winter, I think it was because I knew if it snowed, we had no school and because my parents were teachers that they would be home as well. I loved everything about the season, now thinking about it I see that I enjoyed it so much because we were all together. When thinking about the season now I still like it, but it doesn’t feel the same. I never realized how much of my life growing up I spent making traditions that would later disappear. My dad and I would decorate our house outside for Christmas every year and now I do it alone, and we used to dedicate every Saturday leading up to Christmas baking cookies and now we buy cookies from the store, change is hard. Winter always brought a sense of change, when younger that made me cry, like every year on new year’s I would cry because I didn’t want the year to be over. It is crazy to me how much things change as you get older.
As for the advent season, I was raised catholic, so we had to go to church every Sunday. I never understood advent, to me it was just a part of mass where we light a candle and then move on. Now that I am older and don’t go to church, I understand it more. I never enjoyed going to church growing up, and even now I can’t really stand going. It’s not that I don’t believe in God, I think that if I don’t go it’s a way to get back at God for taking my dad from me. It’s a selfish and annoying thing I do but I have gotten to the point where I have stopped caring because without my dad no one in my family goes to church.
The winter season in a whole has gotten darker over the years, again it is probably because my dad died in January and when we look back at the winter it is colder and darker without him. A lot of my life revolves around this one event, and it has managed to change my view on everything. That is something I have been working on, the way you view things is the only way you can have a happier lifestyle.
Dr. Martin,
I appreciate you laying out your feelings and being open and honest about what is occurring in your life. It does help when we discuss our feelings with others. For you, I can see it is helpful when you write about them. This transition in your life is stressful but being hopeful and positive will bring you through this time. I find when I am going through a transition or stressful time in my life, I try to remain positive. Thinking about others that have it far worse than me also allows me to remain grateful and optimistic. My relationship with God has also pulled me through many tough times.
My life was difficult during my pre to late teen years. I am a kind hearted kid and I assumed all others were kind. Did I get a rude awakening when I started 4th grade! I was bullied to a point where I had no friends. I kept all of this to myself. Luckily my mom saw changes in me and she introduced me to God. We started attending church when I was in the 8th grade. I also attended youth group. I met kids that were also kind and I also met David, my youth pastor. David is an amazing man that taught me it does not matter what others think of you. Only my opinion truly matters and God loves me for who I am. I do not need to change or be someone else for the better of others. It taught me to hold my head high and air on the positive side. When feeling down or stressed, I lean into God. I mentioned this in a previous blog of how I imagine myself on a porch swing with God and lean into him. It somehow comforts me.
You too will get past this transition in your life. Who knows what lays ahead but think positive and go with the flow. Negativity will weigh you down. Be thankful for the last 30 years and the man you have become in life. Be thankful for your health, the roof over your head, the warm bed you sleep in, and the food that nourishes your soul. Being nervous is a common emotion we all feel at times in our life. Please recognize it is normal. Past experiences may shape you but they should not define you. As long as the sun comes up, there is life to live and make the most of it.
Thank you for the time you have given to me during this class. I can tell you are a deep and passionate man. You are the first teacher I have met that allows me to express my emotion in these writings. Best wishes to you and continue doing the things you enjoy.
Dr. Martin,
Once again, you seem to have captured the essence of my brain’s waves. I also find it difficult to find true joy and spirit around the Christmas season, and seasonal depression really hits hard in the winter months. I think a large part of winter depression is feeling as cold on the inside as the air is outside our windows. The feeling of being alone over the holidays is also a depressing experience. I, personally, struggle with feeling warm inside during winter. I do think you make a very good point on the topic, though. My family does try to celebrate Christmas as much as we can, and things can get festive. Every year, my dad hosts a “Cookie Day” sometime after Thanksgiving, where we invite friends over and bake dozens of cookies and decorate them. He got this tradition from his family back in Michigan, where they celebrate “Donut Day” the day after Thanksgiving. The whole family gathers to bake so many donuts you can’t walk through the kitchen. That is my favorite part of the holiday, though I don’t really find much else to look forward to. I like spending time with family, but sometimes too much is too much, you know? I hope you have an amazing holiday and New Year, and here’s to all that our futures hold.
Warmly,
Andrew
I have mixed feelings when it comes to Christmas and the holidays in general. As a child, I enjoyed Christmas, and who wouldn’t? I was given plenty of gifts from my folks and grandparents and I got to eat all sorts of junk food. As an adult who has had over two decades to mature a bit, I look at Christmas totally different. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a regular American holiday, marked by hyper-consumerism and cheap marketing ploys. I can’t stand seeing all the sales, ads, tacky Christmas decorations, and every year that I hear Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas” on the radio is another year I consider surgically removing my eardrums. Seriously, I’m pretty sure the CIA uses that song as a torture tactic.
I’m not a scrooge or anything, nor am I discouraging the holiday spirit of it all. I’m sure it is fun for some people. Some like to decorate, some like to wrap gifts, etc. It’s just not for me. That’s not to say I don’t celebrate it though. As an adult, I find new value in the meaning of Christmas. For me, it is a time where I like to reflect on the birth of Christ and grow more in my faith. I attend a church sermon for a lot of the day, I spend dinner with my family, and then I go home. That’s it. I don’t do the gifts, or anything else of the sort.
In any case, I hear what you are saying. It seems like you’ve lived a long life and have had enough experiences to solidify your thoughts on the matter. I have often thought about the difference between hope and reality. I have the philosophy that hope is good, and it is okay to hope for things, even necessary in some situations. However, I feel that it is also okay to get up and act to make things happen as well. All some people do is hope, yet they have the tools right in front of them to make what they’re hoping for a reality. For me at least, my faith is a part of it. One can have secular hope, and they can also have hope in their creator as well. That, in my opinion, is more comforting.
Thank you for your thoughts and thank you for an awesome semester. I hope to see you around!
Dear Dr. Martin,
I want to express my sincere gratitude for your post. I truly enjoyed reading it, and I wholeheartedly agree with your perspective on hope. Your reflections on the true definition of hope and how it manifests in our lives, especially during challenging times, resonated with me.
Recognizing hope in difficult situations can be a daunting task, but as you pointed out, it often hides in the small, unnoticed things around us. Life is a continuous journey of self-discovery, and finding hope becomes a responsibility as we evolve into different versions of ourselves over time.
Your achievements as a professor and your dedicated work are truly commendable. The conclusion of your in-person teachings marks the end of one chapter but signifies the beginning of a new phase in your life. I wish you a wonderful Christmas and thank you for your valuable insights.
-Victoria Jones
Dr. Martin,
Thank you for sharing this post. I also have a hard time with the winter, as it can feel very melancholic. The bone-chilling cold and the shorter days get to me. I like what you said about hope because it truly is what keeps all of us going. If we didn’t have hope, what would humanity be? I have always been a very hopeful person, and I think when life deals you difficult cards, it is what you have to lean on. I have a very blessed life with a loving mother, grandmother, a roof over my head, and food. However, everything has its negatives. When my grandmother passed, I was left at a point where I had a hard time getting out of bed. Then this August, my mother had a heart attack (she is all good now! ), and what got me through those times was the hope that things would get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel if you will. Although it may feel awful, there will always be better days!
The holidays were never a rough time until my family disconnected from each other. Sometimes my mom isn’t home on Christmas, and it’s just me and my stepdad. We are not very close, so it’s a rough time, to say the least. But now I think something I cherish more than ever is friendship. Every year, my friend throws a Christmas party, and we all exchange gifts and spend the night together playing board games, making each other laugh, and watching Christmas movies. The feeling of being in a room full of people you love can be overwhelming to me sometimes. Because without them, I don’t know where I would be at this moment.
Every year, I write them letters to go along with the gifts. Because, like you said, with age, you grow to appreciate the smaller things in life. I want them to know just how much I care. None of us even need the gifts or the letters to do that. But tis is the season! Sometimes I do tend to be pessimistic, as does everyone else. I let the negative thoughts consume me, telling me I’m not good enough for not doing x, y, and z. But during this time, I try to get easier on myself because, although I don’t make straight A’s each semester, I worked pretty hard, and I deserve to be proud.
What you say about reality becoming overwhelming is a feeling I know all too well. Over the last two or three years, I realized I should have declared a major a lot earlier. I kick myself every day for not doing it as a freshman because now I won’t be graduating in four years. But that is just the universe’s plan for me. Just because I am not going at the same pace as others doesn’t make me any less. It just makes me human. I have also realized that I might need to seriously consider transferring to a fully online college. It is hard for me to get to campus, so I have taken the last few semesters online. But now I have the majority of my general education credits completed, and I am a junior. Making it late in the game is also very risky, and from what I have heard, an online degree is not as valuable.
Regardless, I hope you are well and have a good holiday. You deserve it. Take care.
Dr. Martin,
Your thoughtful reflections on the holiday season resonated with me as you navigated the closeness of reality and hope. Moving beyond festive phrases, you highlighted the universal quest for meaning during Advent and the significance of its quiet anticipation through the symbolism of hope, love, joy, and peace embodied in lit candles.
Your personal narrative accentuated your reflections and added authenticity, making the struggles with self-worth and the journey towards healing relatable. Recognizing hope as a consequence of preparation offers a profound insight, emphasizing the intentional choice behind this emotion. The acknowledgment of the support from real people underscores the interconnectedness of hope and community, showcasing the transformative power of human connections.
The analogy of revision in our lives as a source of hope reframes change as an opportunity for reimagination, a chance to create a different narrative. Your willingness to confront the painful aspects of self-reflection and the acknowledgment that change is possible through hope offer a powerful message of resilience. The overwhelming mix of thoughts and emotions as you approach the end of your teaching career resonates with a sense of closure and transition.
Your empathy for students facing challenges during finals reflects a genuine concern for their well-being and success. Your hope for their awareness of hopefulness, regardless of grades or uncertainties, serves as a poignant reminder of the enduring power of these virtues. In closing, your heartfelt wish for hope, love, joy, and peace in the holy season of Advent is a testament to the transformative potential of these timeless virtues.
Thank you for sharing your reflections and inviting readers to contemplate the interplay between reality and hope. May your words resonate, bringing warmth and inspiration to those navigating their own journeys.
Best,
Olivia
Dr. Martin,
Your blog post was very meaningful and caused me to think a lot about both sides of the holiday season. You captured the seasons festive allure, but also some of the less fun things that can accompany December. Your personal journey in which you discover a deeper meaning of advent in Germany was great to read about.
I also enjoyed learning about the role hope played in your past challenges. It caused me to reflect on times I have relied on hope in my past. I have relied on hope in times where I had no impact on the outcome of things. When things are out of my control, turning to hope becomes a constant source of strength. Your quote, ‘Hope is not something that beams through like the morning sun in an Eastern window – it can be, but often it is more like the Advent candle, a flicker of a single flame reminding us that there is still darkness, but that is not all there is’ was wonderful. I think this analogy of hope as a flickering advent candle was a great piece to include in this blog. It offered a great metaphor to what hope is.
I appreciate your wishes of hope for the students and during this advent season. Thank you again for this insightful blog post.
Brady,
When I was a parish pastor, there was so much that we experienced during the Advent season, and then into Christmas. It is very interesting how elderly people understand Christmas. It sounds a bit morbid, but it is true that many elderly people will hold on until after the holidays because they do not want their families to remember a passing in those December weeks. I appreciated the specific quote you pulled out of the blog and I am glad it spoke to you.
Thank you again for your response.
Dr. Martin
Dr. Martin,
Thank you for your honesty and transparency while reflecting on past memories. I find that your thoughts on the holiday season reflect those of my own. It can be difficult to watch everyone around us become happy and cheerful as the holidays grow closer when we are struggling to cope with the shift. I found it very refreshing to read my own feelings through someone else’s words.
I appreciate you discussing your time in counseling and what it taught you about yourself. Having gone through counseling myself, I relate to the feeling of being stunned while listening to someone you trust with the most personal aspects of your life. Oftentimes we can get stuck in our own mind and develop feelings of hopelessness. It is difficult and sometimes impossible to pull yourself out of that mindset, so having another person there to offer an alternative viewpoint is incredibly helpful and healing.
I find it fascinating to read about the end of the semester from the point of view of someone who is not a student. I am surrounded by the whirlwind of stress and panic from students, and I often forget that professors also go through the dreaded week of finals. Your writing serves as a reminder to us readers that there are always different stories that accompany one single event.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this stressful yet hopeful season.
Lily Kachel
Lily,
Thank you for your reflection once again. I think you are an insightful and incredibly caring. I appreciate the way you offer your own insights.
Dr. Martin