Hello from Starbucks at the Library,
As I sit in my corner, when I look up all I see is students waiting for their morning caffeine. Certainly, I am not one to argue one’s intake and their need for caffeine, particularly earlier in my life (I remember too many late nights in Perkins during my seminary years). I have limited my intake of coffee or other caffeinated beverages for some time, and my sleep process has been much more consistent over the last two years, mostly since I moved into the Mini-Acre. I do still hold office hours in Starbucks one morning a week, and I think my students generally appreciate that opportunity to meet on the Quad versus my office, though I get compliments about my office also.
Since returning from Central and South America during the holidays, I have been rethinking my retirement process, project, and the idea of what I want pretty extensively. What is reasonable? That is an unanswerable question at some level. The idea of reasonable is a moving target, even when who you are considering is constant. If you are looking at multiple entities, understanding reasonable is nigh impossible. Perhaps my hesitancy is parallel to one’s cold feet prenuptial. Perhaps it is as much about never feeling prepared, feeling stable enough; believing I can manage anything that might occur, landing on my feet regardless the circumstance.
If I step back and look at the reality of being able to imagine the variables of a decade plus, that is a tall order, even in the best circumstances. I would not have expected it of my younger self, but perhaps therein lies the problem. I did not plan well enough. I did not imagine the possibilities. And yet am I merely speaking about a revision or it is something more? As I ponder this idea my thoughts go back to my teaching, and one element of my teaching, which is being a compositionist. One of the most difficult concepts for most writers (and student writers) to practice is revision. Revision is a global process that requires a writer to step back and reimagine their paper. It means one needs to restructure and literally re-vision their paper, reconsidering purpose, audience, and adding or throwing things away. When my students hear they might need to throw something away, they are stunned. I work carefully to help them realize that revision is about improvement.
I also work diligently to help them realize they revise their lives more than they know. When they decide to transfer from one university to another; when they decide to change their major or area of study (and sometimes quite drastically); even when they breakup with someone, they have chosen to revise their life. I could carry this metaphor even farther when arguing perhaps those paper revisions are not as clearly thought through as carefully as they should be, and, in fact, many times student do not know how to approach revision. The same is true when it comes to revising life. We sometimes fail; we fall down unexpectedly, and we are not sure how to get up. I think of two particularly painful moments in my life. The first is sort of a two-part event. I did not manage a situation well with a former spouse, and the consequences of our inability to work through a death, the reality of my own health situation, and the actions of my own family would result in my losing my ordination. The snowball effect of all of that almost crushed me. There were some dark days. While I had something to hold on to in that moment, even that was uncertain. The second incident was when I had to move from Wisconsin back to Pennsylvania. Leaving Lydia, whom I had promised to care for, and knowing that change would be incredibly stressful for us both, caused tremendous guilt and fear.
While there is significantly more one could write about in each situation, the point is each event would cause significant revision, profound reimagining, and unexpected reconsideration of both my life and my ability. I am not aware of anyone who has not be had something unforeseen occur, some perhaps mind boggling event that flew out of left field, knocking the sense of what was planned into oblivion. Sometimes it’s not that plans fall apart; it’s more there was no plan from the outset. That reality characterizes my life more often than not, and yet, as important as the truth in that statement, is asking the question why? I believe it returns me to that foundational, underlying, aspect of my childhood, the feeling of never knowing who I was, of where I belonged. I believe now to reimagine something is always possible, but to believe the revision, the reconstruction of one’s actuality requires some sense of knowing what the revision will do. This is not to say some new path will not unfold, will not occur, but rather there is no clear vision or goal. The goal is often change for the sake of change. Additionally, this view is not necessarily some pejorative sense of said process, but rather it cannot be cast in some pollyannaish alls-well-that-ends-well. In fact, it is precisely that in-between place of neither positive or negative, and as such flys in the face of our Western dualism.
One of my graduate school mentors tells me regularly that they’re astounded by both my resilience and my optimism. I wonder about this assessment because I am not always sure about this supposed idealism or elation; is it something feigned or is it some perceived positivity? Even as I compose this at 4:20 in the morning, I am unsure. What I am sure of is my determination to continue on, hoping to do something to make life fuller, happier, and more meaningful. It is perhaps that resolve, that certain implicity (is that a word? Am I allowed to coin it if it isn’t?) that pushes me forward, even in the midst of uncertainty. That would be my supposed optimism (the very thing my mentor believes about me) working its magic. I would like to simply leave it at that, but that would be too easy. So, remembering the inquisitional aspect of one of my counselors, who asked in a very first meeting, “[d]o you do anything the easy way?” I find myself wondering if my optimism is simply cosmetic (returning to a recent post’s thematic concern). I can see one particular person reading and relating to this more than I wish they might. Perhaps it is something different; just possibly it is still continuing attempt to figure out where I belong, where I will find contentment, or in a more profoundly, existential way, where I can accept God’s grace. What’s a much more significant question then I expected to come out of this missive. Once again, I am standing in Parnassus, 2/3s of my life ago, listening to and standing before the all-knowing gaze of “The Pope.” Much like my own father, he continued to remind me of what seem to be important truths, “as immutable as gravity,” to use a line from a recent movie.
So perhaps my penchant for revision is merely my way of trying to find my individual path, my infamous destiny, if you will. I have often compared my life to the cartoon, Family Circus. I am so much the little boy trying to get from Point A to Point B. And along the way I’ve been distracted. Some of those distractions, as significant as they were (and perhaps still are) filled in a significant number of squares to my personal quilt, my own technicolored dreamcoat. I am certainly not Joseph, though I might have some aspects of him. Some of those iterations in my path were ill-advised, but to use the words of John Ylvisaker’s amazing hymn, “I rushed off to find where demons dwell.” And praise to God for omnipresent protection, I survived. Perhaps my reality is life is revision; it is reimagining. Perhaps the lack of a foundation provided my openness to possibilities. As I have written in my own Google map/memoir, “life has been unpredictable and never boring.” Falling down is inevitable, but getting up is not. Resilience is the power that allows me to get up. Hope is my revision.
Thank you as always for reading.
Dr. Martin
thewritingprofessor55 
Dear Dr. Martin,
Your blog on revision has really struck a chord with me. I particularly resonated with the idea that we revise our lives more than we realize. Your comparison of life revisions to paper revisions is an interesting metaphor, and one that I believe holds a lot of truth. Just like when we revise a paper, we must reconsider the purpose and audience, and add or throw away things, when we revise our lives, we must re-imagine our reality and reconsider our goals and values.
Your personal anecdotes about the revisions in your own life were powerful and inspiring. It takes a lot of strength to re-imagine one’s reality, and I think it is important to acknowledge the challenges that come with it. I agree that there is no clear vision or goal when it comes to life revisions, and that can be scary, but it is still important to embrace change, even if it is for the sake of change.
I think your proposed audience for this blog is varied, but I believe it is primarily aimed at your students, who may not yet realize the power of revision in their own lives. However, I also think this blog could resonate with anyone who has experienced a significant change or revision in their life.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. Your resilience and optimism are truly admirable, and your words have given me a lot to think about.
Best regards,
Chase Kuchar
Dear Dr. Martin,
I think this post on revision is very interesting. We often find ourselves in a state where our plans for life change. I must say I never considered this to be comparable to the revision process, though it provokes a lot of thought. When I was a junior in high school, I was constantly asked about what my plans were for after graduation. I had no idea; I had not looked at any colleges at that point and was scared about deciding my future. By early senior year, I decided where I wanted to go to school. I never quite felt at home my first two semesters of college and ended up transferring to Bloomsburg. If you asked high school me where I saw myself in two years, I would have never guessed where I would be now. We grow as people, and as we grow, what we want out of life changes. The goals of my teenage self already differ greatly from the goals of my now 21 year old self.
You have mentioned that it does not seem possible to imagine what is going to happen in the next decade after retirement, and I think that is valid. Life can take you anywhere, where you think you will be next year can be way different by the time you get there. Retiring is starting a new chapter of your life, you will not be tied down to one place and have the freedom to pretty much do whatever you choose. You may enjoy retirement for a year or two then decide to pick up and move to a new place to start a new adventure. I think the possibilities should not be viewed as something to be stressed over, but something to add variety to a life that will let you create new memories.
Your metaphor of comparing life to the revision process resonates very well with the intended audience of your students. It is a process every single one of us is familiar with, and we are all in an age where we need to make big decisions about how we want to live our lives after graduation. Even though your message echoes well with students, it can still apply to anyone. Your examples are fantastic, and can be used as a learning experience. However, everyone experiences life differently and we cannot cleanly compare one person to another’s. One thing people hold in common is that life is always changing, and we never know what tomorrow holds. While I may be a college student trying to figure out what I want to do after graduation, someone may simultaneously be in their 50s considering a new career. We are constantly revising our lives and trying to make the most out of the time we have.
This was a great blog post that truly made me think about how we experience life, and also makes me less stressed about the future. If you are considering retirement and still not sure about what the future holds, then I should not feel behind for not knowing as a college student.
Thank you for sharing, and I wish you all the best as you continue life’s journey!
Eric Johns
Dr. Martin,
I found your blog on revision and how it shouldn’t necessarily be perceived as scary, quite thought provoking. Speaking from personal experience, I have often found the revision process as a redundant step in writing, however your blog points out that revision is a key aspect in our everyday life. Just as it is important to readjust life choices when mistakes are made, it is also important to appropriately revise a paper when needed. To continue the metaphor, the process of revision provides a crucial time to recorrect, restructure and resolve past mistakes. Addressing revision in this way allows for a more familiar perception of what would otherwise be an unassuming step in writing.
While reading this blog, your commentary on retirement makes me ponder how I can help prepare myself for when I inevitably enter that stage of my life. Being that I’m only 20 while considering this, my idea of retirement will probably change by the time I get there, but I believe a vague goal and minor stepping stones are all that’s required to put me on the right track. As of now, the biggest thing that I can do for future me is to start investing a portion of my income into the stock market. Hopefully by the time I retire, that money has grown enough to sustain my family and I.
Also on a random tangent, I’m pretty sure you got the line, “as immutable as gravity,” from Top Gun Maverick. I wonder if you found the film as entertaining as I did.
Thank you for your thoughtful insights. I hope for the best in your future endeavors
Best Wishes,
Nick Adams
Dear Dr. Martin,
This blog post on revision can be related to during all walks of life, as most people change or revise major factors throughout their lives. Although I have revised aspects of my life more often than I have revised my writing, the way you describe them both as stepping back to rethink something shows the importance of careful thought in both. The unpredictable nature of revision that you describe could make a student reading this cautious about making changes, but having the optimism that you mentioned does indeed have its own magic that compels people to move forward with change.
In my own experience, I have had to revise at times of sudden change, but also when new information presented itself. During my parents’ divorce, I had to rethink how I was going to pay for college and begin planning for a less financially certain future. However, other revisions to my life plans have come as a result of gradual research, such as my decision to major in digital forensics, and changing where I want to look for a job because a city I never thought about before has career opportunities and a large community for hobbies I enjoy. Although I won’t graduate for another three years I continually do research to revise my future plans.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with revision, that information is valuable, especially to anyone considering major changes.
Best of luck with any future revisions,
Cody Howe
Dr. Martin,
Thanks for posting your thoughts on this because it was enlightening. Even though the stuff about life revisions was just an analogy to revising papers, my main takeaway from this post was that to get through life; you must change (revise one’s self) or adapt. Now you say that revision/goal is neither positive nor negative, but if it is neither of those, then what is it? Neutral? I feel that the revision/goal has to be either positive or negative. It has to be either good or bad; however, what determines if the revision/goal is positive or not?
You say that people planning on revising their life have to have some sort of idea of what outcome they want. This would make the outcome the goal, so when someone revises their life to achieve said goal, wouldn’t this be the deciding factor of being positive or negative? I did read where you said that sometimes the goal is not always clear, but I just feel that all revisions are either positive or negative. Then again, if you don’t achieve the goal you want, but you get another outcome that is good. Would that make the revision negative or positive? Negative because you didn’t get the outcome you wanted, but positive because the outcome was still good. Then you would be neutral. I suppose that does make sense.
I still think that most revisions are either positive or negative, but I do agree with you that they can be someplace in the middle.
Thanks for the post and wisdom,
Justin Myers
Dr. Martin,
Thanks for posting your thoughts on this because it was enlightening. Even though the stuff about life revisions was just an analogy to revising papers, my main takeaway from this post was that to get through life; you must change (revise one’s self) or adapt. Now you say that revision/goal is neither positive nor negative, but if it is neither of those, then what is it? Neutral? I feel that the revision/goal has to be either positive or negative. It has to be either good or bad; however, what determines if the revision/goal is positive or not?
You say that people planning on revising their life have to have some sort of idea of what outcome they want. This would make the outcome the goal, so when someone revises their life to achieve said goal, wouldn’t this be the deciding factor of being positive or negative? I did read where you said that sometimes the goal is not always clear, but I just feel that all revisions are either positive or negative. Then again, if you don’t achieve the goal you want, but you get another outcome that is good. Would that make the revision negative or positive? Negative because you didn’t get the outcome you wanted, but positive because the outcome was still good. Then you would be neutral. I suppose that does make sense.
I still think that most revisions are either positive or negative, but I do agree with you that they can be someplace in the middle.
Thanks for the post and wisdom,
Justin Myers
Dr. Martin,
Thanks for posting your thoughts on this because it was enlightening. Even though the stuff about life revisions was just an analogy to revising papers, my main takeaway from this post was that to get through life; you must change (revise one’s self) or adapt. Now you say that revision/goal is neither positive nor negative, but if it is neither of those, then what is it? Neutral? I feel that the revision/goal has to be either positive or negative. It has to be either good or bad; however, what determines if the revision/goal is positive or not?
You say that people planning on revising their life have to have some sort of idea of what outcome they want. This would make the outcome the goal, so when someone revises their life to achieve said goal, wouldn’t this be the deciding factor of being positive or negative? I did read where you said that sometimes the goal is not always clear, but I just feel that all revisions are either positive or negative. Then again, if you don’t achieve the goal you want, but you get another outcome that is good. Would that make the revision negative or positive? Negative because you didn’t get the outcome you wanted, but positive because the outcome was still good. Then you would be neutral. I suppose that does make sense.
I still think that most revisions are either positive or negative, but I do agree with you that they can be someplace in the middle.
Thanks for the post and wisdom,
Justin Myers