bucket list

Good early morning,

I am finally making some notable progress against this pneumonia, but I think I have been In bed more hours in the last two weeks than I have usually been in six. I was in bed before 9:00 p.m. Last night. While I have been productive during the days, there is more to do than the hours I have been awake, so if you think about that I am working my way backwards. That is a problem. The weekend will require some significant work. My niece will be here this weekend and I am looking forward to seeing her. I have not seen her since last Spring. Even though we speak regularly, it is a long way back to Iowa.

If you live in Bloomsburg, you might think my blog title is referring to a restaurant here in town. While I appreciate that establishment a great deal, it is not the topic or focus of my blog. I will put in an unabashed plug for this restaurant gastronomique. Others might think I am referring to Antonio Vivaldi’s amazingly well-known, and, in my opinion, over-played composition, which is actually titled le Quattro staglioni.. While this might be actually closer, it again is not really what I am rying to strictly consider as I write this blog. And, btw, if you want to cosines some different musical compositions that are more than concertos, not to take away from Vivaldi, look up Fresh Aire I-IV by Mannheim Steamroller for another take on the quadratic divi on of our calendar year. Most of you know their Christmas music, but this precedes it. In fact, I am listening to the second album (download) about Spring as I write this. The metaphor of seasons and understanding or illustrating our lives is quite common, and that is more what I have been thinking about this past few weeks. Again, knowing that I have been working with requirements of being the trustee for Lydia might provide some context, and rightly so, but I think it is my own life and reflection upon that life that is more the impetus for this posting. It is the fact that my best friend in life is now in a care facility suffering the devastation of ALS and I am here and can do little to help or visit him that is hurting me profoundly. It is perhaps that I have another set of freshmen who have barely begun their lives and I know that I have lived most of mine. I know that I have worked against odds to make it this far, and while I plan to go father yet, there are things that want to keep that from happening. It does not really sadden me, but it does make me wonder how best to use this period of time, this final season if you will.

If I would try to imagine my life as those four seasons, how might I show the parallels? Where are those divisions and why do I see them as I do? Is each season the same length, as a normal yearly cycle we follow or do they vary? What are the significant moments or events within those seasons? Those are all Fragen daran zu denken . However, it is almost 5:00, so there other priorities for me, and it is time to rise and shine, or, at least rise.
. . . As is often the case, the week got away from me and other priorities with the first week of classes came to the fore. So it is almost midnight on Friday and my niece, Jennifer, just arrived and she will be here until Sunday sometime. It is good to see her. I have not been able to get together since she was in Bloomsburg last Spring around the end of March. I am not sure what all we will do tomorrow, but it is wonderful to have her here.

So what happened or when was there a time that I would consider there a
springtime in my life, that place or time of growth, of hope, of believing the best was yet to come? What I am realizing as I start to ponder this, it is likely that neither my life can be seen in an orderly manner nor would my seasons follow the expected chronological pattern. For instance, you might consider the spring to be the time when you were younger, when things are or were, new, things are, or were, changing, when there’s wonderment about what you are and where you will or would go. I’m not sure I had such a time throwing up. At least I don’t remember feeling that way at any time as a child. I think that time for me might’ve been when I was in college, at Dana College. I was 24 years old shortly after arriving in Blair. Granted there were times growing up but I had that wonderment. As I noted in previous blogs,, Christmas times at my grandma’s house; or times on my great aunt’s farm. If I use the concept of being amazed the idea of extreme wonderment, I imagine the time that I was in the Marine Corps might be such a time. Was for me wide-eyed and gently boggled by everything that occurred around me. And without a doubt, it was one of the times in my life I grew the most. Yet, looking back, I don’t remember it as a time of time of happiness or a time where I felt good about myself. Again there were moments but I felt those things, but nothing sustained. As I ponder all of this what I realize are the times that I was most happy were the times I was learning something. I imagine that’s why am happy even now. Though I must admit some of the learning is now more difficult or more significant. Some of the most significant learning has actually been outside the classroom. I don’t believe that’s a bad thing. Maybe it’s reasonable to ask when was my most significant learning moment. Within the realm of school I believe it was the first time I went to Europe. Outside of school I think it’s actually been that during the last year. Simply put I guess spring time for me is the time of growth, both growth in my mind and growth in who I am as a person.

How might I describe the season of summer and when did that season occur in my life? As the next thing for me to ponder, when did I feel the warmth of the summer, a sort of caliente capable of radiance through your entire being; creating a warmth than affects your very soul? Has I wonder about this the only time I can think I felt such warmth and happiness was as a small child with my grandparents. I remember laying in the yard in the grass on a summer day and gazing out the sky, pondering the art and the figures in the clouds. I remember once gazing a crossed and I could see what we’re grain elevators. I didn’t know that’s what they were and I thought I was gazing at heaven. I was so happy and content. I liked where I lived; I knew I liked that I was loved. I believed life was wonderful. What I know now that would last much longer and I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that since. On one level, that’s an incredibly sad statement. On another level, I think it addresses the actual complexity of what it means to be truly happy. I do believe there are times of my life where I’ve been content. In fact, I would say now is one of those times. I am content because I have everything I need and certainly most anything I have wanted. Yet none of that really makes me happy. For me, happiness goes beyond contentment. That statement is probably worth an entry on its own.

I think for the time being I will just continue to ponder. I will say something about the two additional seasons in my next post. However most of the rest of the day I should do it work on school things and be prepared for the coming week. I owe that to myself; I owe that to my students. Perhaps a century will make you ponder your own life and those times or seasons when you felt the best? What where the contributing factors to those seasons of growth? those seasons of happiness?

As always thank you for reading. I hope you have a great week.

Dr. Martin

Published by thewritingprofessor55

As I move toward the end of a teaching career in the academy, I find myself questioning the value and worth of so many things in our changing world. My blog is the place I am able to ponder, question, and share my thoughts about a variety of topics. It is the place I make sense of our sometimes senseless world. I believe in a caring and compassionate creator, but struggle to know how to be faithful to the same. I hope you find what is shared here something that might resonate with you and give you hope.

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