Hello from the bus,
It’s early morning, and I am sleeping on an air mattress in a sleeping bag (well, not actually sleeping because I’ve started this blog). It is September 11th, a consequential day in American history. It is also a day, where as a gun-owning culture, we are confronted with the shooting of a 31 year-old , who was married with two children, as well as another school shooting in Colorado. Both incidences, while horrific, have become common place in our nation. This is not a political statement, but rather a statement of fact, which is beyond unfortunate.
In the past few months, this all-too- common occurrence has occurred in blue states (Minnesota with the killing of state legislators and at a school), now in a red state (with the killing of Charlie Kirk in Utah, also a predominantly LDS state), and in what many now consider a purple state (Colorado with a second school shooting and one might assert that Columbine pushed this kind of violence into the mainstream.). The point being, there seems no place immune from the violence and division that too often ends in the loss of life. A quick check of statistics compiled by the Morgan Law Group, which considers a number of factors when determining the safety of a state, has a listing of the safest and most dangerous states. The two safest are Vermont and New Hampshire and the two most dangerous are Louisiana and Mississippi (https://policyadvocate.com/blog/top-10-most-dangerous-states-in-the-us-2025/). You are welcome to check out the URL. It noted Utah to be the 5th safest state, though some are not feeling that today.
One of my mantras over this past decade, when we seem more and more polarized, has been the following: fear creates anger; anger creates rejection. It seems we have become an angry country, perhaps in an angry world. As I lie here in the early morning hours, 24 years to the day of the American apocalypse, something we call 911, I believe it can be argued that those who attacked America did so out of anger and hate. There was certainly fear of American power and rejection of a world order controlled by American influence. And today, as the finger pointing, from both sides of the political aisle as noted even in Washington DC in the house of Congress yesterday, fear and anger are on display at every level of our society. Sen. Mike Lee (R Utah) rightly condemned the shooting of Charlie Kirk, but when Melissa Hortman, the Democrat from Minnesota (and her husband) (were) was shot in their home in the middle of the night, his response was profoundly different (again worth reading). Violence begets violence. That is a truism. And when the violence seems particularly partisan, the response contributes to and exacerbates an already divisive rhetoric that again is all-to-commonplace. As someone who spent much of his life studying and attempting to understand the power of language, the persuasiveness of language, I see an interesting parallel between what is happening in our society and what happens when two married people decide they can no longer be married. Please hear me out.
When I was parish pastor, people came to me when their marriages were struggling; as I look back, certain characteristics were often apparent, and I would have to note the same in my own failed marriage. Often the terms used about the estranged partner were less than kind (you can fill in the blank). I would often ask, if that person was really that derogatory term, why would you marry them? In honesty, we all have the ability to act in the ways that would earn such a moniker, but if that is our primary personality, the choice to marry was less than wise. After explaining that, and most often getting some sense of understanding and agreement, I would note, such behavior is in response to something happening (or not happening) in their relationship. A second regular occurrence, it seemed, was each person would, at times, work diligently, at least in their own mind, toward trying to repair this important relationship. However, when the changes hoped for did not occur in either the manner or within the timeframe they desired, they would get angry and soon give up trying, all the while blaming the other for failing to respond or making what they believed were the necessary changes. Again, fear and anger ruled the day. Generally, there were two issues in that moment. Seldom were the two working at the same time or in the same direction, and second, there was little communication between them on what they were actually doing. The consequence was generally even further disintegration of the relationship, a greater degree of mistrust, and additional hurt or fear, continued anger, and often rejection (dissolution of the marriage). To this day, I believe being married is the most difficult undertaking one can ever enter into. And I do not see that as a negative or reason to not be married, but rather to do more than exist, it requires incredible, thoughtful, and consistent effort.
Currently, the extremes of either party in this country have become what seems to be more and more commonplace. If you consider each of them to be in a marital relationship of sorts (they have been together for 250 years), certainly that marriage is currently on the rocks. As with any long-term relationship, there are cycles; there is an ebb and flow to how well the union (pun perhaps intended) seems to be going. The marriage license (contract) here is the Constitution, and the way it is framed, it is doubtful another partner will ever be found. This is a serious two-party (person) situation. And this union is complicated by 533 brothers and sisters who do not get along, and 340 million kids, the majority who seem to be in their terrible-twos. Certainly, the ability to communicate with the other is a foundational necessity. Much like the married couple, I do believe there are individuals in both parties who care deeply about America. I do believe that there are individuals who want to serve the country and hold firm to the belief in a representative democracy. Again, pushing the parallel, currently, the struggle seems to be two-fold. There seems to be a fundamental breakdown in the willingness to communicate in a civil manner with the person who thinks differently. We see the consequence of that lack of civility daily. Second, what seems to be s willful vilification of the other as permeated our society from the Oval Office to the basic person on the street to such a degree that one must question if our democracy can survive. I believe this is a very dark time in our country’s history.
And all of that is in light of 24 years ago today people reached across the aisles, across the streets, or the alleyways to embrace the other as we stood unified in our horror of the events in New York City, Washington DC, or Shanksville, Pennsylvania. There was a unity and a love like nothing I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. The incredible good will we received from the global community was squandered it seems. And yesterday in a larger picture, Russian drones were shot down over Polish territory. This has invoked the calling of Article 4 of the NATO Treaty (and emergency meeting of members). Had the drones killed someone in Poland, the reality of Article 5 and it’s invocation would be facing all of us today. Actions have consequences; that is a reality we are taught early on. It seems either we have forgotten this, or in our selfishness, we just don’t care. That is even more consequential. It is a dangerous world, but this is the world we have created. I hope we can retreat from our precipice of destruction on all levels.
Thank you for reading, and reach out and tell someone they matter today.
Michael
thewritingprofessor55 