Hello from an afternoon break,
I regularly find myself questioning how did we get here. How did we become so polarized the idea of working together is a pipe-dream, so divided that our response to disinformation or even an insurrection has become commonplace or we see such incidents of things from stalking to swatting as simply part of our world? The idea of a kinder, gentler world is not something most of us believe possible. Every day there is something, from the local to the global, where discord seems to be the prescription of the day. But perhaps we need to understand what hostility is to begin with. The National Institutes of Health note the presence of certain traits or elements if there is a hostile situation or atmosphere. There is anger (which is a normal human emotion), and I have noted in other writing that anger in and of itself is not wrong. There is a significant degree of cynicism or mistrust (which is an attitude); and there is an overt or repressed aggression (which is a behavior) (Hackett, 2015). What I found surprising in this research is that the all encompassing manner that hostility affects and envelops who we are as well as what we do. As such it is not surprising that it has such consequence.
Cynicism and mistrust are the most insidious of the words as I consider this idea. If one becomes cynical about their world, about the people around them, there is little reason for hope or joy. There is little chance one can truly love anything or anyone. Mistrust of everything and everyone will hollow a person. Nothing is ever done without a price tag or cost. And yet, what causes one to live their life in such a manner? As I pondered this, I did some research and learned that there is more genetic to this than I ever imagined. I should probably speak with my psychology colleagues or my neurology colleagues as I learned about an MAOA gene, which is related to violence and antisocial behavior, which I was surprised is a mutation of an X chromosome. This particular gene catalyzes the oxidative deamination of amines (e.g. dopamine or serotonin). So much more to learn once again. And yet, my immediate reaction to learning this is does it simply provide an excuse for antisocial, egoistical, narcissitic, or simply mean behavior? I am unwilling to give that get-out-of-jail-free card.
I am always amazed at the simple pure kindness of many toddlers before they learn to be selfish. There is a joy and fascination with what the encounter, and unless they have been already taught to fear something, their surprise and excitement is genuine. For those who are parents or grandparents, aunts or uncles, when you experience the smile, the laughter, the genuine happiness of that child, grandchild, nephew or niece, you know of what I write. One of the things I wonder each time I see the amazing eyes of an infant, one who is only months old, is what are they absorbing through those eyes. What is happening to their brains? How are the cataloguing those images, experiences, sounds? What are the things that will offer a smile that develops into a coo, a giggle, or laugh? What are the things that will oppositely create a frown that transforms into a tear, a frown or a crying fit? I think some of it can be imagined by going to the other end of our lives. When I cared for an elderly woman who spent her last years in a memory unit, I was stunned at how a similar disease could be so differently experienced and illustrated by those suffering with some form of Alzheimer’s or some form of dementia. While there were some characteristic actions, each person still had their own progression and response. And yet there was one thing that seem consistent. In spite of the inability of most to remember a plethora of things, to manage their hygiene, or even to be ambulatory as they deteriorated, almost without exception, they perceived the attitude of the person they encountered. If that caregiver attended to them with genuine care and concern, their response was exponentially more positive. If that caregiver really did not care, they understood that also. And their response would immediately become hostile. I did not know that Lydia had the terms bitch or bastard so well engrained in vocabulary until that last year of her life. I remember taking her to the dentist in the last months of her life, and she refused to open her mouth to allow the dentist to check the new lower denture, replacing one that had been inadvertently thrown away, probably in a napkin. When he reached to check her jaw, she tried to bite him. When I gave her a look and asked her to please behave, she glared at me and said to me in German, her native language, “Du musst den Mund halten und du bist ein Arschloch.” At that point, the dentist said, “She spoke to you in German.” to which I responded, “She did.” She knew I knew what she said. This proud Austrian professor emeritus had lost all her dignity and decorum.
I sometimes wonder if hostility and anger come most often because of our fear or our seeming lack of agency in our lives? I believe there is so much we have created, most often in an attempt to create convenience, has overwhelmed us, subsequently frightening us because we realize its consequence. I believe technology is probably the most profound example of how we have worked to develop control or manage things, but we are feeling less and less in control and our technology is controlling us. Some years ago, in the early years of social media, Dr. Michael Wesch, a cultural anthropologist at Kansas State developed a series of YouTube Videos. One was titled “The Machine is us/ing us.” As I work on developing my classes for the semester, the various platforms, possibilities, and to imagine what I can provide for the majority of students I will never see in person this semester. I am dependent on my technology and on them to make this educational process work. While I have two decades experience of teaching asynchronously, of teaching online, no two classes, no two semesters are the same. It is easy to feel disconnected without thinking about how the images, the words, the sounds work in harmony, but it is those very images, that language, and even the sounds that connect us. It is part of our evolution, but it is also something that continues to change rapidly, to evolve, sometimes in ways we do not expect. And yet often those changes frighten us, facing the unexpected is part of our humanity, and how we manage that is essential to success, whether we are in school at any age or even if we are facing retirement.
Over the last days, and as I work on my Capstone class, we are considering the reality of AI. If you are reading the news, Elon has just implanted the first brainchip into a person with ALS with his company Neuralink. That is incredible, not only that it happened, but that there is such a possibility. This actually connects us back to the beginning of this post. What can we learn with such possibilities? What might we control with such possibilities? We know so much about how the brain works, and yet we know so little. What will AI do to our ability to manage, to understand, to anticipate be it in the psychological, the sociological, the biological, the medical? Where does it stop? What about boundaries, privacy or ethics? These are all things I have my students exploring this last semester as I finish my time in the academy. What will the world be that our children or children’s children will live in? Would our parents or grandparents understand it? Believe it possible? There is so much to be excited and anticipatory about, and yet there are valid concerns. What will happen to human autonomy or agency? What have we unleashed?
I wonder if those who lived at the beginning of the Industrial Revolution worried about such things? I wonder if when people like Galileo or Copernicus turned the world on its side (or lack thereof) if the everyday person outside the church worried? There are so many ways we are content to merely meander about our lives and maintain a routine. Why? Because it is safe, and it does not frighten us. And yet, it seems the world as we know it will change in ways be cannot anticipate, and it is not in the distant future, it is now. If we do not understand how to manage it the consequence might be more hostile than we are ready to endure. I am reminded of an album I listened to regularly back when I was first out of the service. It was the title track of Alan Parson’s album, I Robot. Perhaps this world is more real than we know.
thewritingprofessor55 
Hi Dr. Martin,
I think the idea that cynicism and mistrust are some of the most detrimental things for humans to think and believe is a very important point brought to light in this blog post. When people lack trust, they struggle to make connections which are often very important. Connecting to people around you allow for growth, and learning, both of which can be crucial in our society. Also, the point you made about children being so innocent and kind is so true. It’s well known that kids are like sponges and learn from their surroundings. If the world were more like kids and were honest, kind, compassionate, and unselfish, I believe it would truly be a better place. It is also important to think about how people change as they grow and age, and how that affects our society. When thinking about how children evolve into teens and adults, it is important to think about how the world around them shapes who they are. I think the purpose of this blog post was to challenge readers to think about how hostility found in the world around them can affect them for the better, or for the worse and how they can change when looking at things from a new perspective. This has allowed me to consider how certain aspects of my life have changed me, and how I can be more positive as I continue to learn and grow.
Hostility- something we can change with kindness.
I remember when I was younger and people would take time to say hello, have a conversation at the grocery store, go visit with neighbors, catch up in a parking lot, but that has changed. People want to go, go, go, and are so absorbed in their own world they forget there are others around them. People have become so comfortable and afraid of change they are forgetting to be kind. Why are we so afraid to slow down, smile, ask how someone’s day is really going? What are we going to miss? We miss the joy that comes from asking, we miss the seconds to breath. Are we afraid of missing the newest post on Instagram? Everything is accessible so easily so why are we afraid to miss it? Even on social media we get hostile with others, our first thought is to judge, blame, or become upset. It’s a blessing in order to see family members’ Christmas pictures minutes after they were taken, not have to wait weeks for them to be printed and then mailed to you. Technology has made our lives easier but with it we have made our lives more complicated.
I am personally trying to change these things to not be true of myself. I am trying to take time and ask how people are and listen to them. I have started to see my relationships with my friends change because I have done this; and they are changing their ways too. I think we can make the world a less hostile place; we need to make changes starting with ourselves first. We can take time and not be on our phones, we can smile, we can ask the question of how someones day is going.
Dr. Martin,
I often think about how every aspect of our adult lives relies on something that is learned. For example as you states babies are so pure and do not know fear unless it is learned. The same goes for any other emotion, belief, ideal or behavior. Children are like sponges, they absorb every single thing they experience. Hate and hostility are taught, no one is born hateful. The world of social media spreads hate like wildfire. It is so easy to dislike someone if their entire life is on display and accessible whenever a bully pleases.
My youngest brother is an “ipad kid”, a child raised by technology and continues to be as he is homeschooled. He is currently 7 years old and although he can tell me what year the Chicago Bears last made it to a super bowl, he lacks worldly skills. He has a hard time communicating his emotions and getting his thoughts across. He struggles in social settings and thrives online. Situations such as my brothers makes me fear for what is to come. The world is so sucked into the idea of a technology centered society that it is not obscure to believe it may take over some day. AI is maybe the scariest piece of it all. Technology fuels hostility and there is now slowing it down now.
Kyla Korpics
Dr. Martin
When I read your first paragraph about how violence and hostility have become so normalized and accepted by society today, I was reminded of January 6th, 2021. Specifically your use of the word “insurrection” got me thinking of how the capital was raided. I googled insurrection and mostly pictures of January 6th showed up. I still can’t believe that I lived through that historical event and that it was even was possible, especially in a post 9/11 America. It still shocks me to this day that January 6th happened, so I’m glad I haven’t normalized that event for me. When whole groups of people who enable each others’ dangerous ideas and are mislead, it’s scary what they can do together.
Last year for a group project, I had to research what makes a serial killer, I also found research on certain genes making people more prone to behavioral issues and negative emotions giving people dopamine. Though I’m not saying all people with this gene are serial killers, but in my research I found that usually the combination of a traumatic childhood and that gene might lead someone to become a serial killer. I forgot what gene was in my research last year, but MAOA gene does sound familiar. With the case of being cynical and mistrusting, I believe that the world we currently live in could make someone a cynical or mistrusting person. And those cynical and mistrusting people might take extreme actions that make the world even more grim. So it is a very vicious cycle that just keeps repeating itself.
I think young kids only learn to be selfish from what they observe and learn from their parents, teachers, and sometime other children. If they learn from their parents and teachers, that’s what their parents’ and teachers’ parents taught them. So there yet again is another example of a harmful cycle. Children can also learn from current events, media, and most likely bullies, to be selfish. So, children, to prevent themselves from getting hurt, they probably will start to become less trusting of others, even their own parents.
I personally don’t know what needs to change first for our world to become a better place, but the first step might be for individuals to try to change themselves first. Parents, if they didn’t like how their parents raised them, must raise their children how they would’ve wanted to be raised. People who aren’t parents should be kinder and show by example to younger generations how adults should act. But on the grander scale, like international issues and things our governments do that are out of our control, we shouldn’t resort to violence or insurrections. We should put our money and time in things that support causes we believe in, that show our governments what change we want. For example, participating in strikes, boycotts, or protests.
Grace D’Agostino
Dr. Martin,
When I read your first paragraph about how violence and hostility have become so normalized and accepted by society today, I was reminded of January 6th, 2021. Specifically your use of the word “insurrection” got me thinking of how the capital was raided. I googled insurrection and mostly pictures of January 6th showed up. I still can’t believe that I lived through that historical event and that it was even was possible, especially in a post 9/11 America. It still shocks me to this day that January 6th happened, so I’m glad I haven’t normalized that event for me. When whole groups of people who enable each others’ dangerous ideas and are mislead, it’s scary what they can do together.
Last year for a group project, I had to research what makes a serial killer, I also found research on certain genes making people more prone to behavioral issues and negative emotions giving people dopamine. Though I’m not saying all people with this gene are serial killers, but in my research I found that usually the combination of a traumatic childhood and that gene might lead someone to become a serial killer. I forgot what gene was in my research last year, but MAOA gene does sound familiar. With the case of being cynical and mistrusting, I believe that the world we currently live in could make someone a cynical or mistrusting person. And those cynical and mistrusting people might take extreme actions that make the world even more grim. So it is a very vicious cycle that just keeps repeating itself.
I think young kids only learn to be selfish from what they observe and learn from their parents, teachers, and sometime other children. If they learn from their parents and teachers, that’s what their parents’ and teachers’ parents taught them. So there yet again is another example of a harmful cycle. Children can also learn from current events, media, and most likely bullies, to be selfish. So, children, to prevent themselves from getting hurt, they probably will start to become less trusting of others, even their own parents.
I personally don’t know what needs to change first for our world to become a better place, but the first step might be for individuals to try to change themselves first. Parents, if they didn’t like how their parents raised them, must raise their children how they would’ve wanted to be raised. People who aren’t parents should be kinder and show by example to younger generations how adults should act. But on the grander scale, like international issues and things our governments do that are out of our control, we shouldn’t resort to violence or insurrections. We should put our money and time in things that support causes we believe in, that show our governments what change we want. For example, participating in strikes, boycotts, or protests.
Grace D’Agostino
Dr. Martin,
When I read your first paragraph about how violence and hostility have become so normalized and accepted by society today, I was reminded of January 6th, 2021. Specifically your use of the word “insurrection” got me thinking of how the capital was raided. I googled insurrection and mostly pictures of January 6th showed up. I still can’t believe that I lived through that historical event and that it was even was possible, especially in a post 9/11 America. It still shocks me to this day that January 6th happened, so I’m glad I haven’t normalized that event for me. When whole groups of people who enable each others’ dangerous ideas and are mislead, it’s scary what they can do together.
Last year for a group project, I had to research what makes a serial killer, I also found research on certain genes making people more prone to behavioral issues and negative emotions giving people dopamine. Though I’m not saying all people with this gene are serial killers, but in my research I found that usually the combination of a traumatic childhood and that gene might lead someone to become a serial killer. I forgot what gene was in my research last year, but MAOA gene does sound familiar. With the case of being cynical and mistrusting, I believe that the world we currently live in could make someone a cynical or mistrusting person. And those cynical and mistrusting people might take extreme actions that make the world even more grim. So it is a very vicious cycle that just keeps repeating itself.
I think young kids only learn to be selfish from what they observe and learn from their parents, teachers, and sometime other children. If they learn from their parents and teachers, that’s what their parents’ and teachers’ parents taught them. So there yet again is another example of a harmful cycle. Children can also learn from current events, media, and most likely bullies, to be selfish. So, children, to prevent themselves from getting hurt, they probably will start to become less trusting of others, even their own parents.
I personally don’t know what needs to change first for our world to become a better place, but the first step might be for individuals to try to change themselves first. Parents, if they didn’t like how their parents raised them, must raise their children how they would’ve wanted to be raised. People who aren’t parents should be kinder and show by example to younger generations how adults should act. But on the grander scale, like international issues and things our governments do that are out of our control, we shouldn’t resort to violence or insurrections. We should put our money and time in things that support causes we believe in, that show our governments what change we want. For example, participating in strikes, boycotts, or protests.
Grace D’Agostino
Dr. Martin,
Your blog was very mind opening. The part that especially hit me was when you spoke about babies and infants. Specifically, how their brains work and what they are thinking. I have a cousin who is almost 2 years old. He started signing small words like “more” and “food”. I am always so fascinated seeing him sign and become curious. I become curious on what he is thinking and how he connects his thoughts with his small signs at such a young age. It is so remarkable to me.
Secondly, I often look at others because I am a very visual person. I am always aware of my surroundings and want to know what others are feeling; I love helping people. Whenever I see people who look sad or alone, I always try including them because I never know what they are going through. I am so interested in how peoples’ brains work.
Thank you again for your blog.
It is interesting to think about the idea of hostility. The research done to find out it is partially a genetic factor puts a new perspective on the idea as well.
I unfortunately have seen firsthand what the effects of Alzheimer’s are like. I have had multiple people throughout my family suffer from that terrible disease, one of which is living with my parents right now. I have seen two lovers torn apart as they suffer the same fate. They had both underwent mistrust which led to that hostility you speak of. They had to be separated. 40 years of marriage went down the drain. They grew to only know hate for each other as the disease took over their brain. The man living with my parents now has luckily not experienced such hostility. He is quite the opposite. He is silly and kind.
There is a lot to consider about hostility. It is how people have been influenced as they have grown up and are continuing to grow up. There is also a lot to think about with the growing use of technology. AI has been introduced in more scenarios now. As we grow, so does technology. iPads, computers, phones, TVs, and kindles. These are enhanced yearly and are widespread. Growing up, there are terms like iPad kids and they are kids whose whole lives are surrounded by tech and the internet. It has become normalized. Kids’ whole focus and grasp of the world is through a screen. It is important to be more focused on the present and on what is happening in front of us rather than through a screen. It is hard to get individuals and gain unique personalities if our center of attention is technology.
Lauren Hughes
Dr. Martin,
You speak on the use of AI quite often. I don’t want to comment on if it is good or bad but I do want to mention that is another milestone for technology. 50 years ago it was not common to see a computer in every home, 25 years ago there was the y2k scare, the impending apocalypse where everyone thought the world was going to end because they didn’t know if the computers were going to be able to handle the change of the new millennia. Now I am sitting here on my laptop with my phone next to me with my airpods. If we could travel back in time and said that last sentence to someone from 50 years ago they would call a doctor and say that you’ve lost your mind. I think that technological advancements are fantastic for the world (as long as they are not used as weapons of mass destruction). I also look forward to what the future holds in terms of tech. Recently there was the unveiling of the apple vision pro, and while I think that as of right now, if I saw someone out in public using it I would chuckle, that or something similar may be commonplace in the near future.
Hi Dr. Martin,
I am also greatly concerned about the rising division across our country, especially the hate, anger, and mistrust that follows it. The innocence and happiness that children carry with them allows us, as adults, to recognize that these behaviors are seen and learned from through other adults. We are their models because they are new to this world, and although some may consider them “not smart enough” to catch on to how things work in the world, they are moldable to these behaviors even if they don’t understand them.
It is why, with the rise in censorship and education reform in certain states, that I fear for our future. My future. In certain states across the U.S., there are children and teenagers (K-12) restricted from learning about topics such as race, racism, racial history, sexuality, and gender, through various bills and acts. It certainly brings to question what systems and behaviors these types of legislation are trying to maintain, and what beliefs they’re trying to instill into the younger, more impressionable, generation despite the claims of “protecting the children.” Students within these states are going to grow up into adults who will develop a narrow perspective of the world around them, which will ultimately continue these harmful cycles of not just hate and mistrust, but of ignorance and prejudice, around the world.
From what I’ve heard over and over across many literature and communication courses in my time at BU, “to control education is to control the people.” We have to protect our education so that we stay remain informed, develop critical-thinking skills to combat misinformation, and become open-minded to protect each other.
Sincerely,
Alaina Hostetter.
Hi, Dr. Martin,
I enjoyed reading this blog post. I think you made very valuable points about today’s society. I have noticed over the years that our society (whether it be political figures or celebrities) normalizes this repressed aggression behavior. We live in a time where individuals think it is normal to have a cynical mindset. I’ve heard people say jokingly, “It’s a dog-eat-dog world,” but now it seems apparent that people actually live every day with pent-up anger at whatever ideology they deem the opposition. I truly believe that this type of behavior stems from our advancing technology. I grew up thinking that putting a man on the moon was the greatest achievement humans have ever made. In today’s time, it seems every other week we are doing something so much greater. Today’s iPhone has 100,000 times more computing power than the Apollo 11 rocket. We live in such an advanced time that information is forcefully fed to us constantly. I believe this is a large reason why people are so quick to take one side and completely dismiss the other as lies or a form of propaganda.
Seeing you mention the MAOA gene made me happy. I’ve always been fascinated with how our minds work based on the genes we are given. There is no excuse for violent and horrific behavior, but it is still fascinating to see that there are genes in humans that enable them to commit violent acts. Ever since I watched the HBO series The Sopranos, I have been fascinated with this gene. The show centers around a mob family in which the leader is seeing a psychiatrist. Throughout the show, the psychiatrist is told by her colleagues to stop treating this man as he is untreatable because he is a sociopath. Eventually, towards the end, she realizes all along they were all right; she was just a pawn in his mental battles, but of course she couldn’t realize on her own that she was treating one of the smartest sociopathic mob bosses ever. I know it’s just a TV series, but it does a great job at showing the rationality of human violence and how these mobsters all have a mutual genetic connection with violence.
-Lucas Hoffman
Dr. Martin –
This blog post definitely got me thinking about various concepts. First, you touched briefly on the gene relating to violence and antisocial behavior. I have never heard of this gene before and it is definitely something that I would like to learn more about. The main thing that comes to mind is psychopathy. I wonder if they ever tested the correlation between individuals diagnosed with psychopathy and the presence of this gene. I also wonder if sociopaths, people who aren’t born with those traits but who develop them due to environmental factors, have a higher rate of possessing this gene.
Another aspect that got me thinking was the concept of toddlers being kind until they are taught to act selfish. I read a book where they spoke about the progression of behavior as an individual ages. When a child is young, their behavior is based on pleasure. The example given was a toddler stealing ice cream from the freezer because they associate ice cream with pleasure. As a child ages, they enter into a bargaining stage. That same example was referenced again but this time the individual would weigh the pleasure of getting the ice cream against the pain of punishment. As a person enters adulthood, they do what’s right because it is right. For example, you tell the truth because it is right instead of telling a white lie to avoid an uncomfortable situation.
I think in society today, people generally don’t mature to the state where they do what is right because it is right. People are selfish and rude. They focus on only their own pleasure with a blatant disregard for others. I have often struggled with the overall entitled demeanor of society today.
I was recently speaking with a colleague who mentioned that a person they once knew was known for being “out for themself.” They did not care about the people around them as they sought what they wanted. I pondered this for several days and came to the conclusion that everyone is out for themselves. The difference, in my opinion, is someone’s consideration for others as they strive for their goal. In my professional experience, people will fight for you until they face the question, at what cost? Everyone has a threshold for what they will sacrifice for others, and over time, I think that threshold is getting smaller and smaller.
Another concept I struggle with, that is very similar to selfishness, is jealousy. I have had many friendships that have deteriorated solely because they were incapable of being happy for our other friends. They would be upset and spiteful if they felt that someone got something better than what they got. This could be anything from jobs to weddings to houses. Someone else’s success does not make you any less successful, but that sadly seems to be a lost sentiment.
I know I always end my comments by thanking you for sharing your thoughts, and I will do so again. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your posts never fail to make me think and I normally end up down a rabbit hole of sorts. I look forward to your next post!
Shannon
Good morning almost afternoon from my job training at Geisinger. I had time on my lunch break and wanted to get a head start on my homework for the day so I am not doing it all after work and late tonight when I have to get up early again tomorrow morning for work. I am trying to work smarter not harder so I can manage my time more effectively with me working 40 hours a week right now.
I found this blog post interesting because it explores a variety of perspectives and interpretations of how and why people are the way they are. Maybe people act the way they do because of how they were raised. The environment you are raised in plays a massive role in human development from your personality to your mentality. As a child, we are taught by our parents to have the same opinions and values as them, but it is up to the child to follow those same ideals or build their own morals, opinions, and values. Another way you mentioned was genetics.
It is fascinating that when we are young and cannot understand the world yet, our happiness, fascination, and expressions are genuine and clear to read. At some point, we lose that almost innocence and our oblivious way of thinking over time. The older we get, the more we learn about the world. A person’s view on cynicism and mistrust comes from their interpretation of the world. They use those traits almost as a way to explain and blame the world for what is happening, even they are the one that allowed themselves to develop and think that way. It is an interesting topic to ponder that I could talk about it all day because the way the human brain copes with its environment and the way it thinks fascinates me.
I find this blog very interesting! Erik Erickson’s theory on development has several different stages. Trust and mistrust is one. They believed something along the lines of, that if a child experiences mistrust throughout their childhood it could lead to hostility and trouble in relationships. Where having trust in childhood will set the child to be optimistic. Of course it is just a theory.
Our environment has a huge impact on how individuals develop their personalities. What we are exposed to at a young age will affect us in adulthood. It is up to us how we handle our past and what we learn from it. Like you mentioned, it is also genetics. It is amazing how anything and everything can leave an impact on us without us noticing!
Thank you for sharing.
Jessicarain Griffith.
Good Morning Dr. Martin,
Hostility and hatred is certainly something that is taught, not what comes naturally to someone. Violence is something that is seen as “normal” in our society today, or it is seen as necessary. Often, we see violence perpetuated to those in marginalized communities and may look for reasons to justify the violence and hostility that has occurred.
Often, the belief of hatred is taught. I grew up with parents who spoke of hate for marginalized communities and had to do a lot of self-reflection and educate myself to accept who I truly was since the things I was being taught and my feelings and identity aligned with something else. If we were to teach children love and acceptance as opposed to hostility, hatred, and violence we could be a lot further in society.
As someone who hates confrontation, the title of this blog definitely caught my interest. In my personal life, I have seen both an increase in hostility and a lack of willingness of people to engage with each other. I wonder if these two things contribute to a self-destructive loop. People tend to fear what they don’t know, and this fear makes us aggressive. If we don’t take the time to learn about people who are different from us, it is easy to misjudge them. That misjudgment can lead to resentment or fear. This can make us unwelcoming or hostile to people we don’t know. That distrust can lead to polarization where we surround ourselves with people who think and act just like us. This can unintentionally isolate us from our broader community.
My default setting is to be cynical. If I take a deep look at myself, I would say I’m also distrustful by nature. Ironically. I don’t think either of those things makes me hostile. Generally, people see me as friendly and approachable. For example, I carry pepper spray because I’m cynical and distrustful of my surroundings, but I would never initiate hostility. I’d rather just avoid any uncomfortable situation – or people in general. I know I wasn’t always like this, but somewhere along the way, my childlike curiosity turned into fear and that is a sad, but true, statement about the world we live in.