Good morning very early Wednesday morning,
After an incredibly wonderful, though a bit chilly and wet New Year’s Eve, it seems in spite of vaccinations and a good coat and scarf, I have managed to become one of the numbers (statistics) of which I wrote in my last blog. I have been the majority of my New Year’s in bed. With the help of NyQuil, hydration, and sleep, I’ve made substantial progress, and my COVID tests have remained negative, so I think I am merely fighting either the common, albeit miserable, cold or a variant like a sinus infection. Regardless the diagnosis, it has been a significant reminder that this sort of in-between weather is a best friend of germs. It is helpful that I have been able to stay inside and isolated for the last couple days.
In the meanwhile, the world around me, both near and far, seems to hurtle itself forward as a first-class passenger of Ozzy Osbourne’s “crazy train” (strike up the guitar)! Between the daily ridiculousness of a 2024 campaign, which has not even officially had a caucus or primary yet, assassinations in Lebanon, bombings in Iran, earthquakes in Japan, and the tragedy of the continued war after Russia attacked Ukraine, the proverbial “to hell in a hand-basket” seems apropos. And the daily headlines of our local newspaper continue to focus on what is wrong with things rather than offer any sense of how the goodness of some in our town was such a wonderful way to bring in a new year. Don Henley reminded us quite accurately when he wrote, “people love it when you lose /// kick ‘em when they’re up, kick ‘em when they’re down, kick ‘em all around /// we love dirty laundry.” Why is it we have a fascination with other people’s misery? What makes us want to hear the latest gossip, and the things that will cause the other pain? It is that we are essentially mean or uncaring? That we thrive on drama at the expense of the other? Seldom does a day, or even a few hours of our 24/7 news cycle go on than I am bombarded by the updates on my iPhone or iWatch alerting me 5-10 times in less than 5 minutes about the most recent newsroom catastrophe. And having the world in our hands makes it exponentially more shocking, except that it no longer is all that shocking, which really is the thing that should shock me. If this sentence seems unclear, read it again slowly. We are in midst of what seems to be a constant, never-ending series of crises. Is it true? Is there no hope for us as we have become obsessed with the latest dirt? Do I really need to know more about the Jeffrey Epstein list (and I am in no way saying anything supportive of him)? And in spite of my own political position, the practical reality that campaigns never stop makes me detest the entire political process, and yet I am well aware of the need for a well-educated electorate. Can I understand why some people want to go-off-the-grid, as some call it? That is an emphatic, “hell yes!”
Certainly, there is little I can write, say, or do that will change this, and our head-long dive off the 250 ft. cliff into the ocean of AI will do little to slow that. And for the record, I am not anti-AI, but I am beyond concerned about the issues of boundaries, privacy, and the ethics of it. So . . . Now that I have depressed you all . . . What might we do? As crazy as it might sound, and Ozzy is still singing, “Crazy, but that’s how it goes.” I think it begins with a (conceptually) simple adjustment in what I am willing to sign on to. Note the parenthetical adverb. If I make a conscious effort to stay away from gossip and drama might I look at the world differently? If I choose, if I take some agency for my surroundings, might I decide to focus on the positives of any given situation rather than ruminate on the sad or negative aspects of the moment, the day, or the world? How is it we love gossip, that we seem to thrive on it? Our need to know is seldom really knowing, it is only hearing an aspect of something and we’re off to the races. Needing to tell our important nugget of some salacious set of facts that will only create more hurt than help. Ironically, some of the next words in Ozzy’s famous song are, “Maybe it’s not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate.” What if we might simply pause before we choose to dive into the latest drama of something? What if we consider the humanity of the other before we jump on that out-of-control bandwagon, a vehicle of discontentment and damage? The destruction and havoc caused by our drama-driven need to know hurts all of us. The broken relationships, the shattered dreams, or the loss of hope in those affected by our need to join the cacophony of noise is profound. The long-term consequences change people’s lives snuffing out potential.
I’m sure those of you who read regularly are wondering from where this blog post emanated? I am not a resolution maker; and I am generally an optimist. And yet, there are a handful of situations that cause me pain, in most cases more for the other than myself. In each situation there is a sense of discord and a history of consequence. In each life, there was (and is) such potential for goodness, but through decisions and choices, there is turmoil. Turmoil that overshadows the ability to proceed on a more beneficial path. Too often, the drama of the situation controls most of what occurs. Too often I have let that drama control me, but that is my own fault. Too often I wanted to believe, foolishly, I could do something to change it. Perhaps both naive and a bit arrogant. Walking away is not something I often do, though a couple of people could assert I have. Learning is something I do try to do consistently, though I am sometimes a bit slow. While I am most assuredly not climbing on any sort of resolution-making process, I do think I am making a conscious effort to eliminate as much drama from my life as possible. It was 26 years ago today I sang at my father’s funeral – that I officiated the committal service for him in Graceland Park Cemetery in Sioux City, Iowa. It was a bitterly cold January in the snow as I buried the best father I could hope to have, and he adopted me, not the other way around. He was known for his perfect smile, his affable demeanor, and his willingness to give to others. He is remembered by me for the things he said that were not arguable. He told me often, “Choose your battles wisely and fight them well.” I listened to that, perhaps too well. What I did not listen to as carefully, and perhaps more importantly was the rejoinder. He added, “And don’t make them all battles.” Dad, I am still learning that part.
It stuns me it has been a quarter century since I last saw his smile, a smile that would light up a room, or heard his matter-of-fact wisdom. He was not a drama person. He was much too wise. I need to remember and tap into that wisdom. I am not sure he would ever appreciate Ozzy, but this is a kinder video, so perhaps. I still miss you, Dad, and I love you.
Thanks as always for reading.
Dr. Martin
thewritingprofessor55 
Dr. Martin,
I agree with your concern with mainstream media growing more and more negative. The constant negativity and drama that is always in the news and media is very draining. The normalization of these occurrences is a cause for concern as we no longer see these shocking things as shocking. I have found an Instagram page that only talks about the less talked about good things called GoodNews_Movement. I have found the little bit of positivity in my feed much needed.
I think we crave gossip because of evolution. Our ancestors needed to know these changes in environments for their well-being and survival. The unfortunate reality of the matter is that the need for drama is still very apparent today. I really enjoyed your reference to crazy train.
I am sorry to hear about your sickness. I hope you continue to recover over these next few days. Thank you for sharing this reflection and about your father.
Dr. Martin,
I am sorry to hear that you have not been feeling well. I wish you a speedy recovery! Being sick is one of the worst things to me. I hate the feeling of sluggishness, and I can never shake the feeling of germs on me when I’m under the weather.
I agree with you and your thoughts about humans and drama. I personally believe that more “silly” drama, especially in pop culture, is used as a means of escape from the lives of everyday people. We thrive on drama because it provides us with something to talk about. It serves as something that people, regardless of their background or status, can see and form opinions on. As for more serious news stories such as shootings, elections, and war outbreaks, I believe that humans are just naturally drawn to all forms of excitement. We are curious creatures, and that has allowed us to grow and evolve throughout history. It’s not shocking then, why we would be drawn to the drama and news updates that constantly flood our digital spaces.
I am also not one for New Year’s resolutions. I am a firm believer that if you really want to change something about your life, you do not have to wait until a new year to do so. I find it nice to reflect on the past year and think about all the upcoming changes that will take place in the new year, but I do not really make resolutions.
Your ending words about your dad were very touching. It is funny how memories work, some things will never escape our minds. Reading your memories made me tear up a bit at the end, and maybe that is just me and my ability to be emotional about everything, but I found your reflections touched me dearly.
I wish you the best, as always.
Lily Kachel
Dr. Martin,
I hope you have a speedy recovery from your sickness, and I can relate to how you spent your New Year’s as I was sick then too. I have to say that there is so much going on in the world, and as of right now it’s all bad news. On New Year’s Eve before the ball dropped, ABC News did a recap of everything that happened in 2023 and most of that recap was bad news. ABC News reminded us of the wars, celebrities that passed away and natural disasters that occurred. I am the type of person that hates to be informed about all the negativity in the world because I see myself as an optimistic person. I am fully aware that bad things happen, but it pains me to see these horrible things happen to people who can be completely innocent.
I hope that 2024 will be the year where more good things happen than bad. I am the type of person that strongly dislikes drama because we are grown adults and if we have a problem we should be able to talk it out. Drama is a thing that drags people into a situation, even if that situation doesn’t involve that person. Unfortunately, drama makes the world go round and everyone loves to hear details about someone else’s life because it makes their life more interesting.
I want to say thank you for sharing personal details about your life and how you felt during your father’s passing. I am terribly sorry for your loss and I feel terrible for anyone who loses a loved one, especially a parent. You learn so much from a parent, but I am happy to hear that you use the lessons he taught you throughout your life.
Abigale Motto
Dr. Martin,
I agree that the media nowadays is turning more negative by the day. The constant negativity from the media is draining but sickeningly, it gains more attention and conversation throughout the public. Although bad news will always be received with remorse and people will have compassion, drama is new because of multiple factors, opinions, curiosity, and boredom. The normalization of drama and bad news is nothing surprising anymore because some thrive on the news.
The Internet is a whirlpool of information and news. The internet, in my opinion, is a toxic environment that everyone gets sucked into because of the drama and the intriguing ways people can make any conversation into major news. I think that people crave gossip and grave drama because, in their own lives, they’re bored and need excitement. We are all curious and unfortunately, we need the excitement to keep our lives more thrilled.
The new year brings new opportunities and brings new beginnings for all. I hope that this new year will bring only good news and we keep the bad news in the past. Thank you for sharing your story and I am so sorry for your loss, especially the love of a parent. I’m happy to hear that the lessons he taught you, brought you to the strong person you are today.
– Maggie Schultz
Dr. Martin,
I am sorry for your loss. The holidays are a tough time for many people, and with the anniversary of your father’s death right around the corner of that, I’m sure it doesn’t make it any easier.
What struck me in your post, was when you said “ … Now that I have depressed you all… “, for I don’t think anything you said before that changed many feelings for anyone around my age. The constant crises, as you mentioned, that are surrounding our society and more at each turn, and along with social media and constant technology and now AI, have, I think, already been a large cause to the increased levels of depression and anxiety that my generation face. I was born in 2001, and I am part of Generation Z, or “Gen Z” as they call it, and I can’t help but think that a lot of others in my generation would agree that it’d be an easier time in past generations, or times without smartphones and political chaos. I know that each generation has had it’s problems, and also that government has never been perfect, but I notice all too often the problems people my age face with the sense of loneliness, inadequacy, and the feeling of being helpless in today’s society. It also never helps when older generations always feel the need to put down the younger ones, criticizing our lack of attention and focus on the real world and good quality work… except those generations are what have made our generations what they are. We grew up into the world these older generations have created.
Maybe that’s a reason we enjoy when others are down… to know that there’s someone down there with us, rather than enjoying being above them.
Although, I am a person who strives to set goals in the new year, and each year I have the reoccurring resolution to be happy. So cheers to the chances that this year is better than the last, and so on and so on.
You’re not the only one feeling the considerable weight of the constant stream of negativity, my friend. With that in mind, I’m considering going off social media this year for Lent. Perhaps it’s the perfect opportunity to intentionally turn toward something better. ❤
Hello there!! I have not had an opportunity to note your Masters accomplishment and to offer congratulations. I had intended to try to get together again before you left. I am pretty sure you are no longer in Bloom, but are you accessible in some reasonable manner? I would love to get together before I leave this summer. I will probably eventually move back to the Midwest. I do plan to go to Europe for some time.
I hope this finds you well, and thanks for being in this platform. I will miss you.
Dr. Martin
Dr. Martin,
Although this blog was written in the height of covid, I personally do not think much has changed in terms of drama and social media completely taking over our lives. I cannot recall a time where consecutively for even a half hour, my phone has not alerted me with some kind of “dirt” one might say, that was discovered about a celebrity, the latest news, or something political.
I have even noticed that when I make sure to turn all notifications get turned off on my phone, some form of AI alerts me. Similarly to you, I am not against AI, as I feel that it can be significantly helpful to our society. However, I have recently noticed it starting to get out of hand. There have been new scams within our society that are very scary. One has actually happened to me. I received a phone call under my older brother’s name, so I answered, obviously. When I answered, it was a robotic voice asking me for money. To this day I am still puzzled at how they managed to make my older brothers profile picture come up. AI can be very helpful, or very detrimental to our society I feel. Similar to what you said, the issue of AI has began to create an issue of privacy. Without many people knowing it, there can be AI programs running on our devices without our knowledge that collect all kinds of data. They can extract our locations, IP addresses, contacts, passwords, etc. Anytime we log into our social media, there are programs that get this information very quickly, which is very scary to me. I have learned this information from my cybersecurity classes, and I feel more people need to be more careful with their passwords and data, but also with what they put on the internet.
You mentioned how we as a society seem to almost enjoy seeing the downfall of others online. I have notice this more and more very day. If I go on social media and for example, if a celebrity posted online about them going through a divorce, the comments are filled with negative comments saying things nobody would want to hear. I feel as though if someone puts themselves publicly on a social media platform, they deserve the same respect as anyone else. One could argue, if you put yourself on social media, you open yourself up to criticisms and it should be expected. I somewhat agree with this, however, like you said, we are all humans and there needs to be a level of decency.
I am twenty one years old, so I am no stranger to social media, but I cannot help but wonder, how would I view things without the influence of social media? I have my own opinions, as does everyone, but the question then becomes how much of our opinions do we get from consuming media. I will admit, I have done this before. We see someone state their opinion publicly, and we tend to either agree or disagree with it. From there, I feel that we then start to shape our opinions based off what that one person said. I think this creates problems in our society. People do not think for themselves as much anymore, in my opinion. I see these young kids online obsessing over a certain celebrity and then immediately take that celebrity’s opinion, just because they like them. I think this is an extremely toxic thing we have created. I feel we need to form our own opinions first, before seeing what other people have to say regarding the topic.
To finish, I agree with what you have said about the influence of media, issues regarding AI and privacy, and social media changing how we view other people. To conclude, I feel that we need to take a step away from social media every now and then to reset.
Dr. Martin,
Although your dad might not have liked Ozzy Osborne, my dad certainly does! His ringtone for his phone is Crazy Train! I think of him every time I hear that song.
Drama. There is so much to be said about why we never seem to be able to stop gossiping. The more we talk and look down on others, the more it makes us feel better. We think “At least we’re not like so and so who did this”. It is also very entertaining. What is more exciting than hearing about someone else’s drama since it doesn’t impact you, and is free entertainment? As humans, we can’t stop ourselves from gossiping. Even though we know it is wrong, people have rarely been punished by spreading drama. If we don’t face any consequences, why should we stop? I feel like sometimes we don’t even realize that we are gossiping. It’s human nature to want to be kept in the loop because we don’t like when we don’t know all the information. Once we get a single ounce of information that has been whispered around, we need to hear all the rest.
Unfortunately, drama and gossip doesn’t just stay in break rooms and locker rooms, it can spread to the media. The media will publish anything that will get them clicks. Clicks = money. It doesn’t matter how true or invasive a story is about something to stop them from running it. It is a big concern in today’s world because you can never know what is true and what is false. It seems as if the world has its priorities upside down. When it comes to pop culture, it seems like their drama overtakes regular news. Sometimes things get out of hand. Recently, I learned that Taylor Swift can make the Super Bowl after her Tokyo show (including a detailed schedule) before I found out who the second team was who was in the Super Bowl. Although they are both important or relevant to my life, one is obviously more newsworthy than the other.
Sometimes I try to remind myself that gossiping is bad and that we’re talking about other people’s lives which isn’t very nice but it’s hard. I don’t know if it is possible to completely ignore drama and gossiping but be more aware about it.
Dr. Martin,
This is my second time posting on this blog I hit comment and it disappeared. Take this as my formal apology if there are two comments pertaining to the same thing.
In your post you speak on gossip and why it is basically engrained in our society. In my eyes, gossip has a negative connotation because we don’t want people gossiping about us yet when we do it to other people we do nothing to stop it (for the most part). There are times however when gossip can be a good thing, when we gossip about someones accomplishments in a positive way, for instance being proud of a coworker for improvement, this could come back to them in a positive light. But we don’t see that as often. But what if that was the norm? What if positive gossip was what humans did? Would things change for the better? Or would we lose an entertaining part of human conversation?
I think the same thing can be said about what we see in the media. What if news stations only covered the positives? Or maybe we had an option to only see positive media. I think it would be nice every once in a while to turn off the bad in the world and only be able to see positive things. I’m not saying we should all live in ignorance, I am just saying that an escape every once in a while would have a positive impact for all.
This is Jake Hodder by the way I don’t know what happened to the name.
Dr. Martin,
A fact about me that often makes people envious is that during
the entire pandemic and until this day I have yet to test positive
for COVID. I am very lucky to have a strong immune system but it
does still have its flaws when it comes to allergies and sinus
issues. Recently, my mom and stepdad have been sick for over two
weeks, first just having a cold then the flu and finally testing
positive for COVID. It is fortunate that I live on the Bloomsburg
campus and was not exposed to their sickness due to the fact that
I would have to take off days of work and school.
Even though I know I should, I don’t keep up with the news due to
the sheer fact that real world issues scare the life out of me.
The though of wars breaking out and global destruction makes my
heart sink and I physically feel ill thinking about it. I wish
there was more positive news other than the one off stories you
see here and there, but unfortunately our society has grown to
love hatred in all forms. Despite it being 2024, there is still
so much racism, sexism, and just overall hatred everywhere you
look even though we are all human beings and should be working
together to achieve success and allow our world to thrive
naturally. I too am not a solution maker, but a very observant and empathetic
optimist who desires change without having the resources to do
much about it in this current moment.
Dr. Martin, I enjoyed your blog. The part that especially spoke out to me was when you said you are an optimist but still experience pain. I related to this because I am a very optimistic person and I always try to be in a good mood and cheerful. But, life still happens. People come and go in my life and it is normal to feel emotions. It is worse to hold emotions in and hide them. Or wait for them to build up inside of yourself. I allow myself to experience emotions because it is apart of life. Thank you for this blog!
Hello, Dr. Martin
I am sorry to hear that you were ill over the New Year holiday. Being sick around the holidays is never fun, but good thing you continued to test negative for COVID. I too am curious as to why we are fascinated by other’s misery and it feels as though that is all we focus on sometimes. It is concerning that most times there is more news about the things that have gone wrong or are continuing to go wrong instead of hearing of the positive things going on. Some days I contemplate going off the grid and if it would be beneficial for me. It feels as though sometimes that is the only way to avoid the drama and negativity of our current world. This blog post seems to have the purpose of educating others and sort of making them more aware of the fact that we are constantly surrounded by darkness. That the world and today’s society focus more on the bad than the good. It is also important to note the importance of community and listening to others in a way that is careful and kind. AI is something that genuinely concerns me and I feel that it is already ahead of its time and may end up being smarter than we are. Growing up, my mom would sing Ozzy Osborn’s “Crazy Train” quite frequently, so I have heard this song a million times and appreciate the references that you made to it. I am sorry to hear about your father, he seemed to be a wonderful man and you are lucky to have loved and be loved by such a person. The audience of this piece could be others who feel similarly to you about the fact that the media is always surrounded by negativity, the concerns of AI, and people who appreciate Ozzy Osborn. Thank you for sharing!
Dr Martin,
Thank you for this blog post. Although it was published a few months before I am responding to it, many of your points still stand. It is alarming how much chaos is occurring around the world, and how that is affecting everyday life. I agree that sometimes having access to things all the time, 24/7, can be a negative and can cause more stress and harm then sharing knowledge and spreading goof. As I was growing up and beginning to mature, I noticed myself being involved with “drama” and hearing about the good and bad of other people’s lives. It came to a point where I was hearing far too much bad information and was shaping the way I viewed people and their experiences. It was so bad, that my first instinct was often to judge, rather than to view things from a different perspective and see the good. Eventually, I realized how truly stupid “drama” can be, and how pointless it is to know the ins and outs of everyone’s personal lives. I have been making a conscious effort to avoid drama and think it has definitely changed my outlook on life and interacting with people for the better. I appreciate the way you incorporated “Crazy Train” into this post, it’s a great song, and I think it is fitting when considering our current climate. Overall, I think anyone who reads this will be encouraged to consider how they view “drama” and how they can change the world positively, even in a small way.
Maggie Tower
Dr. Martin,
I did not know you could sing, but to be honest I am not surprised. I think that is a great quality to have, and you obviously love a variety of genres of music. Ozzy is really good stuff and even when he was with Black Sabbath. Which is stellar in my opinion. Losing your father must have been hard on you. I know you mentioned how it seems to hurt someone you care about more than yourself. Does that hold true for losing your father years ago? I hope asking a question is not too forward. I sometimes can be too blunt.
The quotes you used about your father I can relate too. I have had similar remarks passed onto me when I got older and into parenthood. So, where do we find the perfect balance? I am not sure if we truly do. I generally see the best in people. Then again I can judge too quickly at times. But predominantly I see the good in them. I try to examine life and encounters with others from all angles. I use the “if I was in their shoes” metaphor when analyzing another. To see how I would feel. Then maybe I will be more gracious when warranted. I also try to be patient, but for many years people would abuse my patience and time I gave to them – including family. I have since made appropriate boundaries and had to work on myself to make sure I knew and reminded myself that I made a good choice by letting go. You never plan for things to go the way they do, but they still happen and that is life at its finest.
Life goes on. It happens so quickly. We always think “another day” or “next time”. Then those moments come and go and we sit back and grow regrets. That is a lot for ones soul to bear if you have a heart and conscious. I have found peace from those moments, but yet others I can’t seem to find that calmness. I hold too tightly to those that are gone and it kept me from living for so long. Now I have given myself grace and patience and remind myself that I am okay and that it will continue to be okay. I hate drama and gossip overall. I am human so sometimes I get sucked into the vortex. Shame on me. I love that my home is nestled in the woods and the trees surrounding me give my heart and mind solace. We all have to find what keeps us grounded in life. It is not always a sure thing or easy to find. Again, sorry for the loss of your dad.