Hello from Panera,
It is early evening on the first day of another week of school. The close of the semester is rapidly approaching, and just as I thought I had planned well external events moved things around, changing my trajectory significantly. For the first time in 50 years, I had an auto accident that I am at fault in. What is interesting is in the 3 weeks since, my fear of another is through the roof (so to speak since the new Beetle is a convertible). Seriously, though, I am incredibly more reactive to anything that happens around me. If someone stops and I am even close, I find myself hitting the brake pedal. . . .
My intentions to turn this blog around quickly have dissipated (or failed miserably). It is now three weeks later and every time I have been hoping to write, either something called me away, or more significantly, I felt I had nowhere to go in terms of what I wanted to do. And yet the title of the blog is still relevant. Yesterday, I attended the Annual Scholarship Luncheon, hosted by the Bloomsburg University Foundation. It is an opportunity for donors who give to the university to support students the possibility of meeting some of the very students who is benefiting from that gift. While my student was not in attendance because they are in Germany (I tried to get them to fly me to Germany to meet them, but it was not in the budget), the stories, the gathering, and the presentations from both a donor and a student were outstanding. Attending the university is a much different financial undertaking then when I first attended Iowa State University some 45 or so years ago. The cost for room, board, and tuition for an in-state student living on campus was $226.00/quarter (that did not include books). I actually made money attending college. And I squandered that opportunity failing out. I think back to that, and my retirement age persona still asks. “what was I thinking?!!” Even with a tuition freeze for the past four years, and the possibility of the fifth, going to Commonwealth University of Pennsylvania – Bloomsburg Campus, and receiving a Bachelors degree will cost approximately $100,000. And that is considered affordable! Amazing.
What is stunning to me is the how differently we view that degree today from when I graduated from high school, which in barely over a month will be 50 years. That too is stunning to me. One of the assignments I have in almost all of my classes is the creation of a Google Map/Memoir. In it, students are asked to create a Google map that explains to their future children who they are, what the world is presently like, and to offer some sense of what sort of world they believe their future children might live in 25 years from now. Through people, places, and events they deem significant in their lives, they have to explain all the things we perhaps wished we might have asked our parents. What was the world like for me 50 years ago. I am think about the country song, “1980 Something,” but I would need a decade earlier. Words like Vietnam, Nixon, Watergate, Détente, SALT, OPEC, and soon things like Resignation, Withdrawal (from a geographic place) were nightly news vocabulary. The thought of technology or even the personal computer was still a decade away. Attending college for this lower middle-class kid was a dream, and something I hoped enlisting in the Marine Corps might make possible. That time in the Marines affects me to this day. I had no idea what I had done, but I was determined to do it. It is that determination that has perhaps served me most profoundly.
Throughout my life, I have been told I was not capable enough; I was not tall enough, weighed enough, looked old enough; and too often I allowed those evaluations or comments to restrict me. Yet, when things were really pushed and things seemed to matter, I found the fortitude to stand up and believe enough in myself to attempt whatever it was, in spite of the admonishment to do otherwise. In fact, the more one told me no, the more likely I was to prove the opposite. So that determination, that stubbornness, that unwillingness to believe that negative answer has served me well (and least sometimes.). Just this morning, I have spoken with two different students encouraging them to not give up, and I think there will be a couple more before day is out. I’ve spent significant time considering why it is we often lead with the negative of something rather than the positive. Why is it we find the shortcomings so much more easy to point out rather than the positive things? Why is it we believe that focusing on what we do not have is more helpful than appreciating what we have. Maybe, for me, it is that I was so fearful of being around that all the time that I made both a subconscious, and somewhat conscious, decision to do it differently. That is perhaps the most fortunate happening which has occurred in my life. I am not some unfettered idealist, that is long gone, but I hold on to the optimism that provides a continual glimmer of hope, of light, that there can always be something better.
Working to make something better is laborious; it can be tedious and overwhelming. It can seem like we never get there, but that presupposes we know where there is or what there is. We do not. Too often we achieve something only to jump to the next thing, thereby never really celebrating the accomplishments completed. There is no real hope if the only destination has no stopping places along the way. I have known, and presently know, incredible people who have attained unparalleled success on numerous fronts, but they are not content. Contentment and complacency are not the same thing. Complacency is not something to which I subscribe, but contentment is. Contentment is taking time to believe in yourself in a manner that allows you to feel positive about what you have done and see the difference you have made. I think of Lydia. She would be 99 years old this coming August. After she retired, she began a bit reclusive, and yet she had an incredibly giving heart. I am reminded of the time she paid the outstanding taxes of a neighbor who was on the verge of losing their house. And yet she did not want people to know what she did. She and her husband came to the United States with two suitcases and $100.00. When she passed, she had accomplished becoming ABD in international economics. She and George owned about 1/3 of the entire circle she lived on. She had one of the most amazing houses in the entire town, and she was well respected both in the classroom and in town for her understanding of economics. And yet, she was content to be in her house. She once told me, if people wanted to see her amazing home, they would not be allowed to do so, but if someone was not all that amazed, she would offer them access. For those reading who knew her, I am sure you are not surprised. And yet, there was a sadness because I am not sure she ever felt it appropriate to be proud of herself. Again there is a difference between pride and arrogance. Again, why is it the things we should feel positive about we are afraid to do so?
I think there are many reasons, but I would like to say unequivocally that most of them are garbage. Take the time to realize the good things and be happy about them. Never become complacent, but realize the fortunate happenings in your life and celebrate them. Too often we allow those around us to sap our ability to celebrate. Sometimes those are the people closest to us, and that makes it even more difficult, but we have choices. We can allow those around us to undermine us; we can allow them to create a sense of doubt or incapability, but do not let that happen. I have been there and I lived a sad and frightened life, a life that seemed destined for simply existing, going through the motions of life without living. There is nothing positive in that. I find myself realizing that some of the difficulties I have faced helped me look for the goodness that I believe is always there. The picture above is my kindergarten graduation picture, the first of what would be many graduations, though I did not know it. I was happy in that moment. It is difficult in our present world, with all the acrimonious sounds and actions to find that glimmer of hope, but I pray you can find it. The positive in life is worthy of focusing on. It is worth celebrating. Certainly, do not sit and wait for life to come to you, but take time to believe in yourself and the possibilities the world offers. Good luck as you finish the semester or whatever task you are attempting. While the video below might seem seasonal, I believe the message fits for everyday.
Thank you for reading,
Michael
thewritingprofessor55 
I really enjoy your posts. I taught at Dana College for a brief five years. They were the best years of my life. My son still lives in Omaha and my daughter followed me back to PA. Neither of my children were Dana graduates but son took some classes there and daughter got her teacher degree from there. Again, I do enjoy your posts.
I did have to chuckle at the “didn’t weigh enough” comment… I remember that time as well and now long for a way to shed pounds back to it! I can remember one of the Saga cooks watching me consume mounds of food commenting. “Enjoy that while you can, it won’t last.” She was ever so right.
Indeed, Merle; I have managed to drop 30+ pounds the last three years. And yet, the struggle of maintaining is profoundly different. One of the most significant things I have done is simply portion control and walk. The reduction of sugar becaused of Diabetes II has played a role also.
I hope you are well. Hello to Elizabeth too.
I could not agree more with your statement on being happy about the fortunate things that happen in our lives. You said that “too often we let those around us sap our ability to celebrate”, I can think of some people who were close to me who made me doubt my abilities and tried to make me think I was incapable of attending college. The fortunate things are always something to be happy about, and I am glad you see it the same.
I relate a lot to this post, especially when you talk about having to build yourself up when others tear you down. I am also extremely sorry about your car accident. I have no doubt that the situation has left long last effects, even if it was not that bad. It would certainly raise my vigilance and anxiety tenfold.
I believe it to be completely understandable that you are more reactive after having a car accident. When I was a younger driver, I rear ended someone a few states away when they suddenly slammed on the brakes and my minivan full of people and luggage was not ready to stop. I was only 17, and afraid to drive for a few days afterwards, but always make sure I have a large following distance almost 5 years later. I hate being in the car with my parents because they like to get so close to people, but it is funny that I never thought about it before the accident. There was no damage to the other car from the accident and the guy was super nice, but I will never forget how bad I felt afterwards. I already suffer from anxiety with driving being one of my triggers, but I like to believe that I am one of the safest drivers out of my friends and family because of it.
It is interesting to see how you felt about college back when you were attending it. While Bloomsburg is one of the cheapest universities in the state, it is appalling to me that the price of the degree is considered great. My parents were able to pay for college so much easier in their time, and I am going to have student loan debt for years. The chance to go to college for $226/quarter would be a dream, as I sometimes pay more than that for textbooks each semester. In the area I grew up in, going to college was always expected after high school. I do understand that I grew up in a wealthier area, but sometimes it seems crazy to me that all these people are pushed to college when some would be happier going into the military or a trade route. Degrees also seem to not be worth as much these days when looking for your first job as they used to. Everyone is pushed to get a bachelor’s degree, and now employers seem to want even higher-level education to get a leg up on other candidates. The entire college system to me is flawed due to the prices, but it almost seems necessary to succeed in today’s world.
I am glad you managed to stand up for yourself whenever it mattered; regardless of what others may say. A lot of people let comments about themselves tear them down and hold them back in life, but pushing past them is how you can really succeed. Personally, I fuel myself off spite to prove people wrong. If someone says that I cannot do something, then I am going to do it just so they know that they were wrong about me. While it may not be the healthiest, it still motivates me to be the best possible version of myself. I liked what you said about needing to be proud of ourselves without others dragging us down, because I too often see friends tearing down their friends because they believe that everything is a competition. It is important to surround yourself with positive people who want you to succeed. In high school I had friends that used to compete with each other, and I find that I am much happier now with friends that care about me, and I care about them too. Life is too short to spend not acknowledging your achievements, and one of the best things to do is celebrate them with the people you love.
Two of my biggest fears are doing life, not living it, and failure. Although this sounds cliché I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to live in the moment and make the memories that will last me a lifetime. I want to travel and see everything I always dreamed of. I want to feel like I really have a place on this earth and that I had a purpose. I do not want to get to the last breath and realize I never lived my life. There is so much negativity in this world nowadays, that it is hard to stay positive. For some reason, the first thought when reading this blog was when I was a young kid and had no obligations. I would walk down in the morning to breakfast and the TV on. My dad would change the channel to let me watch some of my favorite Disney shows. Everything was so simple back then. Now I’m 21 and I feel as though I’m just trying to get by which is exactly what I fear. I know it’s just my age and with being a nursing student it’s not just going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. I have to admit I am one of those people who look more at the negative than the positive. I tend to downplay my accomplishments because I just know they’re so minuscule to the things I want to accomplish eventually. I need to learn though and they build off of each other and I do need to recognize when I’ve completed something. My parents have always been my number one supporters. I get texts from my dad on the daily to remind me that he is proud of me. Maybe that’s why I’m so scared of failure because not only would I be letting myself down but I’d be letting them down as well.
I am sorry to hear of your car accident and the anxiety it has caused you. One of my biggest fears is a car accident, and it haunts me that it is most likely inevitable, as we spend so much time in cars. I hope you feel more comfortable behind the wheel soon, and I hope you are well.
Your part about celebrating accomplishments stuck with me. This semester, I have had a few small accomplishments that I felt guilty celebrating. I felt guilty being happy about them, for whatever reason. I agree with you about life, you have to pursue it.
Your kindergartens graduation photo reminded me of my own. We didn’t get little caps and gowns. I’m not even sure we got the piece of paper. Sure, it was kindergarten, but I suddenly feel cheated. It’s funny, I have had two graduations in life, kindergarten and high school. I’ll have a third in a few months. However, when I think of graduation, I think about those photos of me at age five, standing outside with my little sister in a white dress in May or June. Perhaps I think about that first because it was my first accomplishment. And maybe, if that is why, I am still celebrating that accomplishment. Thankfully, it is not one I feel guilty about.
As someone who goes on drives for fun, getting into an accident is one of my biggest fears. I know how to control a car well, but sometimes I get caught up in the moment, and my focus goes solely on the road ahead and the feeling of the car, making me less focused on the little gauge that keeps going up in front of me. I enjoy those little moments because they give me a break from the worries of my day-to-day life. These moments also show how it is easy to become so focused on some factors but ignore things that are equally important. I have a habit of occasionally overlooking information, but I am working hard on becoming more thorough in viewing all the factors related to whatever situation I am in.
I struggle more with self-doubt than with doubt from others, and I have days where I don’t get any work done because I feel like I am incapable of accomplishing anything. The occasional spark of determination to push through and get work done snowballs into getting more work done, and I move on to better days. I am always optimistic that my situation will improve, even on my darker days, but in order to improve my situation I have to put in a lot of hard work, which takes time. Self improvement is a difficult process, but it is rewarding to reap the benefits of being a better person and a better student than I previously was. When I have my small victories, even if they are as simple as spending a day accomplishing work that I have put off, I feel that is cause for celebration. Acknowledging the good days makes me see how far I have come, and that I am in a better place than I was. I am hopeful that I will continue to improve myself, and by doing so I will create a better future for myself.
First thing is that I’m sorry to hear of your accident. I have been fortunate enough to have avoided this catastrophe thus far, but I can only imagine how scary it is. Moving forward in your blog, you point out the habit of negative thinking, which I too feel is a horrible way to live. It is often hard to find a balance of being self-critical enough to continually improve oneself, but not so hard that unnecessary stress and worry is caused. I feel that negative emotions are focused on in our society because of the ease at which it is to give criticism. Even from a young age, often times it’s a much shorter list to say what you are doing wrong than what you’re doing right.
This blog in my opinion is a reflection on the changing value of a college degree in this current day and age in comparison to when you graduated high school over 50 years ago. As well as the regards to the financial undertaking of universities, and college education. When you touch on the importance of having an optimistic outlook as you share your personal experience such as your unfortunate car crash, it made me think of determination and self-belief. It resonated with me. Your words serve as a reminder that having hope and working towards making something better can make a significant difference in someone’s life.
Hello Dr. Martin,
I just want to say that i can relate to this blog post in a couple ways. First, I am a transfer student at Bloomsburg University. When I first thought about college, Bloom was not a top choice for me. However, as time went on while I attended Ursinus College, I felt unhappy. I felt like if I went back 4 years I would not have went to Ursinus. I had a mix up with classes that my advisor never mentioned to me, so essentially I was enrolled in courses that would not help me graduate on time. At this point I felt hopeless. All I could think about was ‘How am I going to tell my parents I won’t graduate on time?’. Little did I know telling my parents would be the best choice to make. After I told them, they were surprised, but supportive. We sat down and looked at different options. I told them my desire to change majors from Computer Science to Digital Forensics. Bloomsburg was a great option for DF and I love it here. I am extremely happy to have been challenged by this obstacle in life because for me, this was my ‘Fortunate Happening’.
I am so sorry to hear about your car accident. I hope all is well!
I’m sorry to hear about your recent car accident and the impact it’s had on your state of mind. As a college student, I can relate to the stress and pressure of trying to balance external events with academic responsibilities. Your post about the Annual Scholarship Luncheon was very inspiring, and I appreciate your perspective on the changing landscape of college affordability. It’s remarkable to think about the different challenges and opportunities that existed for people who attended college 50 years ago compared to now.
I found your discussion on determination and resilience, particularly compelling. As someone who has faced doubt and negativity from others, I admire your ability to push past those limitations and believe in yourself. Your message about finding positivity and celebrating accomplishments is a good reminder for all of us to focus on the good things in our lives and not let others bring us down.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I wish you all the best as you continue to navigate through the aftermath of your accident and the rest of the semester. The video you included at the end was a nice touch, and I agree that the message is applicable every day.
Oh no! I am very sorry to hear that. I’m sure you were and are still upset, but what matters most is that you are okay. Being in accidents is honestly the scariest thing. I remember when it was storming one night, and I worked late at the hospital and was traveling home. I crested a hill and drove right into a tree lying across the whole road. What I remember most was the sound. It was so loud and harsh. It indeed does affect you for a while and makes you more aware.
My car was just in an accident too. A drunk driver hit my parked vehicle in my friend’s driveway, along with a fence and two other trucks. I feel like everything happens when things seem easy or going too well.
Your creation of a Google map/memoir for the class is beautiful and such a good idea. It’s crazy how things change so quickly as time goes on.
I love that you pushed through all the negativity that people showed towards you and told you. I often find myself in the same position. I usually let those comments and presumptions affect me more than I should, and it’s not that I ultimately believe in myself, but I do believe that the work you put in will show and will provide you with results. You just have to want it enough and keep going. That is an excellent question to ask. I think a lot of the time, the negative things just outweigh us emotionally more and cause us to point them out more easily. I do think that focusing as much as we can on the positives is the best way to live our lives because there are always going to be negatives, but we must focus on the positives, even if they are small, to get us through.
You spoke about contentment and complacency and honestly related so much to it. I feel like a lot of people fall into the habit or mindset of what is next. I know I do that a lot. I can never really appreciate everything I’ve done or doing because I am always focused on the next task or thinking that I need to do something else to be proud or feel accomplished.
Dr. Martin, I agree that Commonwealth University-Bloomsburg is a much cheaper alternative college to something like Penn State or any big ivy league, even now that you mentioned how much Iowa was. It costs a lot less. I’ve had the urge to drop out sometimes because my coursework is extremely difficult and confusing. When I first transferred from community college to Bloomsburg for my final two years, I lost at least a years worth of credits, but that was just part of the journey to get my career on track. Pushing through negativity and rough times throughout life, especially in college, will always be an acquired skill for anyone. In my opinion, this post was an excellent definition of what college and life were like before I transferred. Thank you for sharing.
Sorry to hear about the accident. I have been in three, none of which I was driving, but they’re still terrifying whether you’re the one behind the wheel or just in the passenger seat. Two of the accidents I was in are the reason I refuse to drive in snow.
The part about negative comments made about your appearance and capabilities stuck with me. Throughout my life I have heard similar comments about myself, especially the part about not weighing enough. It is not something I can change easily and I have accepted it, but the comments still get to me at times.
I think it is important to ignore negativity and be positive, like you said. We should not let what other people say and think have an impact on how we live our lives.
Dr. Martin,
Automotive accidents can be quite traumatic. Fortunately for me, I’ve never been at fault in an accident.. at least not one that was severe enough to cause damage. But I do remember every accident vividly, especially my first. I was driving a little Volkswagen Golf up Center Street when someone rolled through the stop sign at the intersecting alley behind the BTE. They clipped my rear door, and the weight of their SUV spun my car ninety degree to the left and nearly through the wall of the theatre. No one was harmed, but the significance of the event was in the realization of just how fragile I was, and how powerless I was in that situation to protect myself.
And so I imagine in a situation like that, being at fault could invite all sorts of additional feelings around an already fraught event. Being responsible for harming another individual would weigh heavily on my mind. I remember distinctly my father telling me as a child that if he ever hit and killed a pedestrian, he would never drive again. That always stuck with me, and held significance. And still in some places, like New York City, hitting pedestrians often results in a simple fine or no penalty at all. Accidents are certainly more common and probably less traumatic for those involved. And maybe people don’t feel so invincible and in control as us small town folk.
Hi Dr. Martin,
I am very sad to hear about the automotive accident that you were involved in. I been involved in two minor accidents where one of them I was at fault. I didn’t slow down quick enough and hit the back of a tractor trailer and he did not know I hit him. It did a decent amount of damage to my car, but it was able to get fixed and that has been it for me with accidents. After being in an accident, there definitely is going to be some fear the next time you get behind the wheel. I felt the same way after my accidents because I felt I wasn’t a safe driver. After not really thinking about it, it just went away for me and things were back to normal when I would drive.
Talking about how you attended Iowa State University around 45 years ago is crazy to me and especially the prices of everything back then. $226/quarter is mind blowing as now we have some books alone that cost that much money. Choosing Commonwealth University of Pennsylvania was one of the best decisions I could have made because I still am living at home but still getting a great education for a decent price compared to other colleges and universities. When you talked about how you squandered the opportunity of failing out, that really resonated with me. Since the Fall 2022 semester, I have been working full-time and attending college full-time and it is definitely tough. I had to withdraw and drop a class during the fall and spring semesters, so I only took four classes (12 credits) instead of the usual 5 classes (15 credits). During certain times in that period, I really just wanted to drop out and mainly focus on my job that can be very stressful. I decided to keep going along and finish it out and still get at least 3.0 semesters. Your blog about Fortunate Happenings really got me thinking about similar events that occurred to me. It was very interesting to see your side of story when the events happened long before I was here, compared to now when things have drastically changed.
As someone that is currently looking for a new car, hearing about car accidents is something that is very frightening. Two of my close friends have been in life threatening accidents that did result in a totaled car. She is now very superstitious about where she drives, how close she is to someone, and the songs that play in her car. I have never been in an accident that I have caused and that my car has been totaled in.
With you attending the Annual Scholarship Luncheon, hosted by the Bloomsburg University Foundation, it got me thinking about all the different scholarships I have been fortunate enough to have received. Having to talk at a luncheon and just have the opportunity to meet with someone who is able to help me further my education is just incredible. I love that I can meet with them and say thank you face to face not just over email. The pride that all of those students must have being able to talk and thank everyone is just incredible.
Being able to not think negative thoughts is something that everyone strives to do. Some thoughts that may appear positive to some are negative to others. Having the ability and want to help someone succeed and continue on their path is very rewarding. There have been sometimes in middle school that I had to keep my friend focused and just talk to me during a difficult time in his life. He graduated last year and is happily at Penn State Altoona. Even if you feel like giving up or feel as though you are not giving your best, just remember, your best may look different everyday. Some people don’t realize that and in order to succeed and be able to live your life to the fullest, you need to keep that in mind.
Dear Dr.Martin,
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and reflections in your blog post. Your intended audience is likely a mix of students, educators, and individuals interested in personal growth and self-reflection. The purpose of your post appears to be twofold: to share your recent struggles and the impact they have had on you, and to encourage your readers to focus on the positive aspects of life and celebrate their accomplishments.
You begin by describing a recent auto accident and how it has affected your outlook and reactions. This personal anecdote helps create a relatable and engaging introduction, drawing readers into your story. You then transition to discussing your experiences attending the Annual Scholarship Luncheon and reflecting on the changing costs of education over the years.
Throughout the post, you emphasize the importance of determination and self-belief in overcoming challenges. You share instances where you defied negative evaluations and comments, and you encourage your readers to do the same. You also touch on the tendency to focus on shortcomings rather than appreciating what one has, and you advocate for a more optimistic mindset.
Your use of personal examples and anecdotes adds authenticity and credibility to your message, and it helps readers connect with your experiences. The inclusion of the Google Map/Memoir assignment and the reference to Lydia’s story further demonstrate the value of self-reflection and finding contentment in one’s achievements.
In terms of style, your writing is conversational and informal, which suits the blog format and helps establish a connection with your readers. You employ rhetorical questions to engage the audience and provoke thought. Additionally, you conclude the post by sharing a video that conveys a message of hope and serves as a fitting conclusion to your reflections.
Overall, your blog post effectively communicates your experiences, thoughts, and advice to your intended audience. It encourages readers to embrace a positive mindset, celebrate their accomplishments, and believe in themselves. By sharing your journey, you offer a relatable perspective that can inspire and motivate others.
Best of luck with your continued writing and endeavors.
Sincerely,
Anna Curry
Dr. Martin,
I am sorry to hear about the anxiety that the car accident has caused you. Car accidents can definitely make you rethink things in a hurry.
It amazed me to hear about the price of college when you first started. I know times have changed drastically, both economically and in how universities function. However, I do believe that the price of collage has gotten way out of hand. Although the number of people who attend college has increased from past decades, I can’t help but wonder what the world would be like if a TRULY affordable college education was available to everyone. It saddens me to see some very intelligent minds not reach their full potential due to economic circumstances out of their own control.
I am in complete agreement with your idea of stopping to celebrate success. I often feel like whenever someone accomplishes something, immediately they are trying to move onto the next thing. Moving up and continuing to improves oneself is important, but I think it is valuable to “stop and smell the roses” for a while after a great success. After all, what is the point of doing something so substantial if you’re not going to appreciate the outcome for at least a little bit.
I find your words on Lydia interesting. I never knew Lydia, but she seems like a fantastic, selfless lady. How much people choose to flaunt their wealth and success is entirely up to them, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with celebrating success if you have it. There is a great difference between celebrating your own accomplishments and successes, and bragging and being arrogant.
Dear Dr.Martin,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. It’s evident that recent events, such as the auto accident you had, have had a significant impact on your perspective and emotions. Accidents can be jarring and often leave us feeling more vulnerable and reactive in similar situations. It’s understandable that this event has affected your plans and mindset, causing delays in writing and shifting your focus.
The Annual Scholarship Luncheon you attended sounds like a meaningful and inspiring event. It’s heartwarming to hear about donors supporting students and the opportunity for them to connect. The rising cost of education over the years is indeed astonishing, making it more challenging for many individuals to pursue their dreams. Your reflection on the value of a college degree and the changes in perception over time is thought-provoking.
Your exploration of the past and how it shapes the present through your students’ Google Map/Memoir assignment is fascinating. Understanding our history and the experiences of previous generations can provide valuable insights into our own lives. It’s a powerful exercise to help students connect with their roots and consider the world their future children will inherit.
Your determination and refusal to let negative evaluations hold you back is admirable. It’s unfortunate that people often tend to focus on shortcomings rather than acknowledging the positive aspects of a person or situation. Your conscious decision to approach things differently and hold onto optimism has served you well. Your encouragement of students to persevere and not give up is commendable. Sometimes, all it takes is someone believing in us to make a significant difference in our lives.
You bring up an essential point about celebrating accomplishments and finding contentment along the way. Too often, we rush from one goal to the next without taking the time to appreciate and savor our achievements. Contentment is not complacency but rather a state of being satisfied with what we have accomplished while still striving for improvement. Your story about Lydia exemplifies this concept beautifully, although it’s unfortunate she may not have allowed herself to feel proud of her accomplishments. Pride and acknowledging one’s achievements can be positive and healthy without veering into arrogance.
You urge readers to focus on the positive aspects of life and to resist letting others undermine or create doubt in us. It can be challenging when those closest to us contribute to this negativity, but ultimately, we have the power to choose how we respond. Your personal experience of overcoming such challenges and embracing the goodness in life serves as a powerful reminder to cherish the positives.
In a world often filled with acrimony, finding that glimmer of hope becomes increasingly crucial. It’s essential to celebrate the positive moments and not wait for life to come to us. Believing in ourselves and the possibilities the world offers can lead us to remarkable experiences. Thank you for sharing your insights and the uplifting video, reminding us that the message of hope is relevant every day.
Best of luck to you as you navigate the remainder of the semester or any other tasks you’re undertaking. May you continue to find the strength to persevere and discover the goodness that surrounds you.
Warm regards,
Anna Curry
It was astonishing to learn about the cost of college when you first began. Time and date is in fact different but the change in costs if truly fascinating to think about. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that college tuition has spiraled out of control. College tuition has nearly tripled over the years while job earnings have not matched that, making it a lot more difficult to pay for tuition. While more people are pursuing higher education compared to previous decades, it’s disheartening to witness intellectually capable individuals falling short of their full potential due to circumstances beyond their control.
I agree with your notion of taking the time to celebrate success. It often seems that as soon as someone achieves something, they’re immediately focused on the next goal. While progress and personal growth are crucial, I believe it’s essential to pause and savor the fruits of one’s labor after accomplishing something significant. It could even be little celebrations of success or going on vacation and checking off marks on your bucket list to help celebrate. However, one chooses I agree that its important
Dr. Martin,
Hello from my comfortable chair amongst my sleeping daycare children,
I appreciate the vulnerability and courage all throughout this blog – it is never easy, but valued as a reader.
Driving, and even as a passenger, is scary; one can only focus on what is in their hands, and other drivers or objects, are out of their reach. I have a hard time talking through that with my brother, who just got his license a month ago, but as any new driver, he’s tearing at the bit to get out of the house and drive. While I have never gotten into a car accident, I have had my car do a 180 on a slippery road, and I tell you what, I won’t go down that very road if it is raining. That might be a little dramatic, but you’re right; the fear sticks with you.
I think other students, and my nursing classmates, could agree with me on this statement – it takes a special kind of professor to sit and encourage students to push themselves. As you know, college is an unbelievably draining goal, and I have been burnt out more times than not, but having professors who push you to be better every day, makes it all the more worthwhile. As I continue down the path of education past my undergraduate, it will be the kind and encouraging words from the people behind those lectures, exams, and assignments that will keep me going; I can admit I have a soft spot for academic validation because I spend so much time busting my butt, that it’s nice to celebrate even the most minor victories.
There are days I wish I could go back and celebrate the little moments because they make me who I am today, but I realize now that it’s not so easy. The phrase “fortunate happenings” is so fitting, and reading this blog has made a light bulb go off, telling me to act on celebrating the things that make me proud. There has been a shift in the balance of my mind where I’ve been focusing on the gloomy side of my life instead of living and existing in the good; I find myself grateful sitting here reading this, as it now gave me the sense to move forward and acknowledge the positive.
Thanks for sharing a piece of you once again.
When looking through the countless blog posts that you have written and the many stories that you have shared, I genuinely believe that I needed to see this one today. Although you point out the ever-increasing price of college, I was much more moved by your comments about how we dwell on negatives and positives so differently. This is something that I have been struggling with a lot recently in many aspects of my life.
For instance, when transferring to Bloomsburg this semester I contemplated my decision a lot, and most of the time it was filled with all the negatives that I could possibly think of. What if I can’t make friends? What if I don’t do well academically? What if I don’t feel safe? These are just some of the questions that I asked myself, and yet all of them primarily focused on the negatives. This is so very telling of how I immediately face situations when I should face them looking at the positives when I can. Now that I am here, I realize all the positives I hadn’t even considered. For example, I have met many great friends, and have already experienced many good things and great times. When reading this post it really gave me a shock and made me stop and think. I was so anxious and uncertain about all of the things that could go wrong, but now the positives are here, and I need to slow down and enjoy what I have rather than look for the bad in said situations.
This also really comes into play mentally for me because I am an athlete. Over the last 6 months, I have been working incredibly hard to refine my skills in my sport and I have been going to special practices with coaches and incredible athletes. I have been so fortunate to make the improvements that I have, yet I always find myself mentally beating myself up over the things that I can’t do. When in reality it is a process and I need to enjoy the positives so that I can realize the gravity of what I am achieving.
I think the biggest thing that I agree with you is that I cannot subscribe to complacency, but I can for contentment. Recently I have really had to find it in myself to be happy with what I have achieved and believe that I deserve what I have achieved and worked for, and with that contentment has become a blessing. Honestly, complacency has been something that I have feared for so long, and yes, I mean fear. There’s just something about complacency that makes my skin crawl. Knowing that I can do so much more and that I am capable of things that I just simply am not trying for, kills me.
With all that being said, I am so glad that I was able to come across this post because honestly, I have needed an eye-opener. Thank you for this nugget of wisdom, Dr. Martin. I know that this was an assignment to respond to a post, but I genuinely am grateful that I was able to read this and connect on such a level.
When looking through the countless blog posts that you have written and the many stories that you have shared, I genuinely believe that I needed to see this one today. Although you point out the ever-increasing price of college, I was much more moved by your comments about how we dwell on negatives and positives so differently. This is something that I have been struggling with a lot recently in many aspects of my life.
For instance, when transferring to Bloomsburg this semester I contemplated my decision a lot, and most of the time it was filled with all the negatives that I could possibly think of. What if I can’t make friends? What if I don’t do well academically? What if I don’t feel safe? These are just some of the questions that I asked myself, and yet all of them primarily focused on the negatives. This is so very telling of how I immediately face situations when I should be facing them looking at the positives when I can. Now that I am here, I realize all the positives I hadn’t even considered. For example, I have met many great friends, and have already experienced many good things and great times. When reading this post it really gave me a shock and made me stop and think. I was so anxious and uncertain about all of the things that could go wrong, but now the positives are here, and I need to slow down and enjoy what I have rather than look for the bad in said situations.
This also really comes into play mentally for me because I am an athlete. Over the last 6 months, I have been working incredibly hard to refine my skills in my sport and I have been going to special practices with coaches and incredible athletes. I have been so fortunate to make the improvements that I have, yet I always find myself mentally beating myself up over the things that I can’t do. When in reality it is a process and I need to enjoy the positives so that I can realize the gravity of what I am achieving.
I think the biggest thing that I agree with you is that I cannot subscribe to complacency, but I can for contentment. Recently I have really had to find it in myself to be happy with what I have achieved and believe that I deserve what I have achieved and worked for, and with that contentment has become a blessing. Honestly, complacency has been something that I have feared for so long, and yes, I mean fear. There’s just something about complacency that makes my skin crawl. Knowing that I can do so much more and that I am capable of things that I just simply am not trying for, kills me.
With all that being said, I am so glad that I was able to come across this post because honestly, I have needed an eye-opener. Thank you for this nugget of wisdom, Dr. Martin. I know that this was an assignment to respond to a post, but I genuinely am grateful that I was able to read this and connect on such a level.
Almost a year ago today, I too was in a car accident that was my fault. While it was just a minor fender bender and everyone was completely fine, but mentally I was destroyed. My first thought was not is everyone okay, but instead, what are my parents gonna say? Luckily they could not care less about their car that I crashed and rather just happy I was okay. For weeks after, similar to you, I was the most cautious driver on the road. I wouldn’t pull out of an intersection if a car was at all close, I would drive slower than other speed limit at all times and I would look and check multiple times before making any turn or move. Even when I was positive I was the only person on the road I would check a few more times just for good measure. It was almost a month before I was finally confident in my driving and returned to driving normal. I have thankfully never had another accident. Hopefully, that was my last.
Your comment on the cost of college tuition when you attended college stunned me. I researched what 226 dollars would be today and it is about 1,500 dollars. Today one can only wish to be able to go to school for under 20,000 a year. Especially with so many more people going to college looking for a higher education, I think the cost has spiraled out of control. Tuition cost has increased exponentially higher than the average wage in the U.S. sending so many young kids, who barely even know what they want to do with their life, to go get loans and start their adult life with mounds of unforgivable debt.
I find your quote ” Certainly, do not sit and wait for life to come to you, but take time to believe in yourself and the possibilities the world offers” very true as it is something I have always believed in. Siting and waiting for things to come to you is like playing the lottery, everyone can get a little win every once and a while but only a select few win big. You have to take luck out of the equation and go get what you want.
I was scrolling through posts and this so happened to be the first one I clicked on and that’s not why I chose it to respond to. First I want to start off by saying it is very understandable that you were and maybe still on edge after your car accident. I remember when my grandmother got in a pretty bad car accident. That was one of the last times she ever drove. She was just too afraid to do it anymore. So the feeling of anxiety after something like that is more than normal.
As for the expenses of college, I personally have a hard time affording the costs myself and it seems to just keep getting more expensive. This is unfortunate, because I feel like college should be something more affordable and achievable for people, regardless of their financial status. Yes, there is financial aid and scholarships, but that isn’t always gonna cover the costs that need to be paid. Not to mention, the books are also expensive. For an online copy, you are paying up to 50 dollars and you don’t even get to keep it longer than a few months! I just wish that everything needed to get an education was more affordable and accessible because everyone deserves to further themselves academically.
Struggling with feeling capable is really the thing that stood out to me the most in this blog post. Which is why I wanted to comment on it. All of the things you mentioned about not being tall enough, weighing enough, and not looking old enough are verbatim to the struggles I face as well. Although I am a woman, it isn’t quite the same, I definitely have had my fair share of people say things or make comments about these particular qualities. Even recently I was mistaken for being twelve years old and, to be honest, I wasn’t sure if I should have been flattered or offended. But those are not personally the things that stopped me from feeling capable (at least mostly). I always feel intellectually incapable of keeping up with my classmates. This morning I had a moment of doubting my intelligence, so I got nervous and shut down. But after the fact, I sat back and let myself marinate in that embarrassing feeling.
Although moments like that are prone to happen because not one person on this earth is perfect, I know the truth about myself. I am a fully capable person when I let myself be and shake those nervous feelings. As you said, leading with a positive attitude is key to not only appreciating what we have done but also looking forward to all the brilliant things you can do in the future. Negativity gets you to some really dark places that I still haven’t fully escaped and I’m unsure if it is even possible sometimes. But lately, I’ve really been trying to go easy on myself. I have been through so many things that really messed me up. But I’m not letting it stop me from achieving what I want to.
Despite all the hardships and insecurities that many people face, they still get up every morning and live their lives the best way they can. That’s all you really can do is live every day to the best of your ability and that doesn’t always mean it’s gonna be good, but that’s okay too. As long as you are actually living your life, that is an accomplishment.