Imagining a Permanent Advent

Hello from the couch,

I am back in Bloomsburg, and along with visiting relatives back in the Midwest, I got one piece of the nomadic past year back in my semi-permanent space. I think the next piece will be to load up bus components in Tennessee and get them back here also. I also managed to find a cold and bring it back with me; it is the complete full-Monty, though not desired. I have fought a fever, now have the sore throat, stuffed head, watery eyes, and my voice has found an octave that might rival a 88 key keyboard. A shopping trip yesterday meant the purchase of cold necessities, and when I got home I made Chicken Noodle soup, that I roasted a chicken and shredded as well as made stock to base it. It turned out quite edible. While I did sleep a tad better last night than the night before, coughing and sweating does not support a restful night. So I am listening to Celtic Woman Christmas music and lying in the couch at the moment. A hot shower and washing my hair did some to make me feel human.

As intimated in my blogs, especially over the last two months, retirement has thrown some unexpected curveballs and sliders. The infamous cliché of hindsight is alive, present, and well, staring at me around every corner and visible on each precipice I seem to encounter. While I have been working to recalibrate my life a bit, the bus project is still viable, but on a new timeline. Health issues, beyond the present cold, need to be attended to before I can reasonably leave Bloomsburg again. This necessitates finding something more permanent for a home. While I have been working on that, I am still waiting to sign a lease for the next year. Heading into the winter months will affect the process of getting things back, but it is something to get organized sooner rather than later. Getting a plan in place will be an important element for me.

As I lay here listening to one of my favorite groups singing Christmas, for the first time since coming to Bloomsburg some decade and a half ago, I have no space to decorate, and it saddens me. Any of you who have followed me for some time know I love the holiday spirit and transforming my space into a fairytale of sorts. I do not really know where it started. While I remember the front room Christmas tree at my grandmother’s home, there were not a lot of other decorations and nothing outside the house. My mother did some decorating, but there was not a theme of any kind. I am not trying to be unfair, but that was not her strength. Reflecting on my desire to create a space that reflects both the memories and beauty of the season, I believe I desired to transform a person’s perspective, even for a bit, to embrace the hope and peace that form the basis for Advent. The idea of a peaceful snow covered village that shows the pureness of the heart we are born with, to decorate a tree with lights and ornaments that evoke the reality of everlasting life in the perpetual green or the memory-giving fragrance of the pine, I collected snow people and Santa Claus figures that reminded me of childhood and the resilient hope that the goodness of those play times.

The themes of Advent are hope, peace, love, and joy. Certainly without hope, life cannot be lived to its fullest. Without love, there is seldom peace or joy. Loving the other is never simple nor is it without risk. I have been reminded regularly, and recently focused on what it means to love, what true love requires? To love another is both profound and dangerous. It is so much more than the passing of infatuation, being enamored with someone’s intelligence or beauty, and it’s amazing how many people believe a mere comment or even a glance that appreciates the gifts of the other means something more. Even honesty about one’s feeling or thoughts can be misinterpreted in a space that seems safe. This is a lesson I am still learning, and it is painful. . I think the reason for this is more than enculturation. I think it is an ethical issue. The belief that we are all teleologists is inaccurate. There are some deontologists, but that is not common. However humanity in general seems to practice life contrary to the idea of love, which truly believes first in goodness, which is the primary message of Advent, is impossible. Can we prepare our hearts to acknowledge or accept such a profound love? With a belief that everything is conditional, the answer is simply “no.” We cannot fathom that there is such an unconditional possibility for us. But what is we merely did our best to try? I want with all my heart to believe in the promise of Advent; in the reality of an eternal unconditional love that establishes a foundational care for not only what what we might become, but what we could achieve.

In a mere four weeks, less than 8% of the calendar year, Advent calls us to believe in the eternal love of a creator, one who would give in a manner incomprehensible, to reveal a compassion and connection to creation and creature unimaginable. I realize for some this seems idealistic, and this realization, for me, comes from something more than a MDiv; it takes me beyond growing up in church or going to a Lutheran Liberal Arts College. It pushes me beyond serving as a parish pastor or being a campus pastor. While all of those things inform or influence, it comes from my struggle to be faithful, and it wells up from the painful experiences I see or feel among those I encounter daily. I wish for something better; I want to believe that something is possible and realistic. If there is a time in the year we can feel the incredible love of a Creator, Advent is the perfect time to experience it.

While I am certainly missing the going to get a tree with my friends this year; while I am still waiting to move into my own space, and though it be perhaps the smallest space I have had since moving to Bloomsburg, I am very excited to be there, and finally, in spite of the post-retirement struggles to acclimate to a new reality, the consistency of the liturgical calendar is comforting. As we are a week into this sacred season, as we move toward the shortest day of the year, it is time to recommit to a life that is based in loving and giving versus focusing on what has been less than positive. It is time to believe that love can and will create a world that will move toward caring for the other versus maligning them, speaking with them versus about them. We see so much of this at all levels, individually and societally. I hope for a world where peace and honesty, love and kindness result in a joy that is immeasurable.

Blessed Advent, peace, love, and joy be to all. Thanks as always for reading.

Michael