Hello from Panera Bread on a Rainy First Monday of Autumn,
It has been a busy day, and yet one to take some time to offer self-care. Over the past months, I have imagined, pondered, reflected, and, at morments, fretted about the impending life change that became a reality the sixteenth of August. Indeed, I officially retired. So now a month and a few days later, my focus has changed. No longer am I deliberating what my plans are for class, how much tine do I need to spend reading and responding to papers, where will my day take me from hour to hour, and to whom I must respond about something. No longer am I worried if I am accessible enough for my students, even beyond office hours. That is the most profound change, particularly when I have been doing it for decades. Instead, I do have things to manage and there is a deadline of October 1st, but it seems manageable. In part, because I have been working at it pretty diligently. There is a second deadline of the first weekend of October, and that is when I do plan to be completely loaded, bug-in-tow, and headed to the farm in Iowa. And in the meantime, I will be wrappoing up all the pieces (some of which I still need to focus upon).
As I have spoken with people, I have been asked about specifics on where I am going, what I am going to do, and then, when hearing the answer, the response as been varied, but most often I’ve heard, “I’m jealous.” I guess that means to some degree, the plan made is thought provoking, interesting, and even intriguing. So what is the plan . . . some of it is coming into place, some still in the ether, and some perhaps not yet imagined. As most are aware, (and that is certainly on the case of what I have started to do on a YouTube channel “Auguries of Adventure” and much of this will be the audio for my next video), I purchased a shuttle bus, an older one (1999 Ford e350), and have decided to turn it into a mini-house – bus life – and go out on the road for some time. Why? Some of it is about the unknown, some of it because I am drawn to those ideas where someone puts themself into 24/7 learning in a more profound and intentional manner. And undoubtedly, the learning curve from my first questions posed to others at “The Bus Fair” this past June, out in Oregon to a phone call just this afternoon has demonstrated clearly, there is much to learn. The logistics, the components, the chronological order of just the build part is enormous, and all of that will be before I have a functioning home-on-wheels and find myself navigating the contiguous states, and if I would go beyond.
And yet even this begs the question of why would I downsize to the degree that everything I need will fit within about 125 sqft? There are two things that come to mind as I attempt to answer your question. First, there is something good in having what you need, and not a lot of extraneous stuff. I have experienced this once before in my life. When I was divorced about 25 years ago everything I owned fit in the back of a long-bed pickup truck (and I did not own the truck). People who visited in my little furnished cabin on the portage that runs through the center of the Keweenaw Peninsula called me a minimalist, but looking back, it was a good time in my life. I remember when I was first married and living in Omaha Village at Dana College, we had very little and I worked at Pizza Hut a couple of nights a week because those two shifts covered our grocery bill for the week (and I brought home a personal pan pizza each night). There was a goodness to the simplicity. In some ways, I am returning to that, though it is hoped the little bus will be a technological wonder as well as an interior design that turns heads. The second reason, and one that is probably more foundationally abstruse is about my understanding of place and what creates a sense of home. Or perhaps more appropriately in my case what happens when one has really not experienced what it means to be at home in some long-term, consistent manner.
When I was in college, attending Dana College, a small Danish Lutheran College on the Missouri River bluffs, I was fortunate enough to travel to Europe with the late Dr. John W. Nielsen, truly a Renaissance person. The title of our traveling interim class was “Auguries of Loneliness,” a title I am borrowing for a memoir/semi-autobiographical book that is in process (yes, another thing to manage). The title of my YouTube channel, as noted above, uses the same word. Auguries is another word for predictions. In spite of the wealth of experiences I have accumulated, there are a couple of constants, characteristics that seem to reappear regardless time or place. Those traits include resilience, optimism, and melancholy. The first two seem a bit more related and the third might seem a wee non-sequitur. And yet, I believe it is the third that keeps the first two possible. I think more of that might come out as I continue to write and travel. The writing of this blog has accomplished two major things for me. First, it clears out my brain, allows me to think and analyze something before I merely open my mouth about it. Second, in my more thoughtful moments, I believe it has served some good, and I do mean that humbly. I am only a single person, one who has been blessed with opportunity and chance. I am a simple blue-collar kid, who was fortunate enough to encounter extraordinary people and learn from them. It has not been a journey without trials and tribulations. It was not the typical upbringing, being on a third family before I was 5. Much like Homer Wells, the character in John Irving’s novel. Cider House Rules, I needed to figure out what would make me of some use. And yet, even now, as I embark on this new path, I believe there are things I can do, important lessons to learn, and I am excited to see what trails, what experiences, and even who I might meet as I move on a sort of meandering path of exploring. Auguries is a wonderful world because predictions can become reality or they might become something completely unpredictable. Preparation and allowing for possibility are an interesting combination of things, and with careful preparation as well as allowing for possibility to guide us, there are more chances that prediction becomes less likely. How would I describe life as I finish this decade? It has been one that has exceeded expectation, not only by what I expected, but perhaps what others expected of me. As some know, I was born much earlier and smaller than anticipated. The very fact that I lived was miraculous by itself. There were, and are, consequences, and there have been profound hurdles to manage throughout my life. Some of that continues. In fact, as I begin this adventure, one of the first things often asked is how I will manage my health care. Let me assure you, I have asked those questions and planned accordingly. Managing supplemental insurance, Medicare, and other needs are things I have worked on for more than 6 months.
So as I venture out in the next 10 days, leaving what has been home for a bit over 15 years, I leave with a number of things that have changed for me. Seldom in my life have I felt like I belonged somewhere, that I had a home. Bloomsburg changed that. That is significant because it allowed for a comfort I have seldom experienced in my entire life. The infamous rolling stone epitomizes me more than I often realize. And yet that is not completely pejorative. I have learned to adapt, to be flexible, and to appreciate small things I might have not realized. Additionally, I am realizing that it made this next step more possible. I am not afraid of taking such a chance. I am, instead, intrigued by the potential. Will there be times I might second guess? I am sure there will be. Are there times, I might find myself in a bind I did not anticipate? I am sure that will happen too. And yet, how many people even get such a change to explore, to learn, and to attempt something that seemed impossible in their retirement? Not too many, but they are out there. I read about those who sell everything and move to Europe or Central America. I know people who have made incredibly leaps-of-faith, as they are called. The potential to learn is limited by what we do or what we don’t. The adventure is about to begin. My life, all of it, has prepared me for what comes next. Please follow along. The YouTube channel is Auguries of Adventure, and here is the link: Go to YouTube and copy and paste this: @auguriesofadventure. Please to subscribe and follow. I will be documenting the entire build, and the eventual adventures beyond. While I could post something that seems more apropos as the traditional video I end with, I think I will make the post one level removed. “Freebird” or “Simple Man”, by Lynyrd Skynyrd, are two of my favorite songs, but this video is titled “Freebird Child” and is a song by Tammy Van Zant, the daughter of the infamous lead vocalist of the Southern rock classic. I did some searching and she too passed away much to early it seems. Freebirds fly, but they have more of a plan than one might know.
Thank you as always for reading.
Michael
thewritingprofessor55 