Hello from breakfast at Cracker Barrel,
The first day I came to visit Bloomsburg, with my friends, colleagues now, and somewhat surrogate family, the Deckers, we came to eat at the local Cracker Barrel. It was a warm Saturday afternoon in May, but it was a restaurant I recognized and enjoyed (breakfast is my favorite meal). This morning, I am back, some 15 years later, and pondering that beginning of a new chapter. That chapter has now ended, and I am embarking on yet another journey (this one both figurative and literal) as I complete my time in Bloomsburg (and at Bloomsburg – Commonwealth). When I arrived in the Spring of 2009, I was both excited and apprehensive. The move back to Pennsylvania had me with an hour and a half from where I had been a parish pastor some 20 years before, it necessitated leaving an elderly woman I had committed to caring for back in Wisconsin as well as leaving an incredibly important person in my life. And then where was the leaving one tenured track position, which I had to some degree failed in managing, to another. Fortunately, the person picking me up that day understood my situation – perhaps better than I did – and his mentorship would be instrumental in what I have accomplished here in North Central Pennsylvania.
Certainly the clichés about commencement being an ending and a beginning are well-known, but this ending is about that idea of completing the thing we prepare for from early on. Retirement is understood as both a completion, but imagining life in a totally new manner. Others tell you it is a wonderful time, and they have enjoyed it beyond anything expected. As I ponder, I am not sure I know (or remember) anyone who has detested their retiring. And yet, I am learning daily there are new things to manage, and most of them, at least thus far, have to do with paperwork and medical care. I must say that most of it has gone smoothly, but there are things that are managed differently (and it is not always intuitive or logical). Planning in advance is imperative, and I am generally a planner.
A former department chair wrote a book titled Retiring Minds, a thoughtful and humorous consideration of academics moving on beyond the classroom. I began reading it and need to return to it, which means in my packing of things I need to find it again, or reach out to the author. I am not sure I see it as some profound end and the of beginning of a new life or person. Perhaps that is because of the anticipating and preparing I have done over the past year. There were conscious decisions made the last three and a half years, both in terms of work taken on as well as managing my health, which had been an issue since my late 20s. At one point, the assistance of another made a significant change in my possibilities, the various roads forward. It is only as I reach this point I can appreciate the accuracy of their prediction. Their insight, their example, and their kindness are all appreciated beyond words.
One of the things I did over the past few years was to continue to travel, to examine options, and to carefully consider things without locking myself into anything. There were times it felt like I was merely moving toward an abyss of sorts, but there was so much in the daily requirements that I was never frightened about the what-if approaching. Managing the daily things that academe throws at us, and the amount of things continues to increase, can be all consuming. I will say the feeling of freedom of not needing something by tomorrow has been liberating. Even the meeting with the breakfast crew seems different. There is no scheduled office hour or other requirement (e.g. Brightspace (the CMS), grading, jillions of emails) to wrangle. Indeed, that seems to be the most incredible difference. Yesterday, a former colleague asked if I missed anything, and I answered, albeit a bit hesitantly, “No.” It sounded a bit selfish, but it was also truthful. However, on the other hand, I never regretted going to work; I did not detest the long hours nor the feeling that I was never really caught up. I loved when the lights came on about some issue or a student noted something amazing they had not considered prior to that moment. I found unparalleled satisfaction in knowing someone grew, their thought-process matured, or they found new possibilities n’er before realized. What an incredible life I have been blessed to lead.
And now, a new adventure begins, though it is for me just an additional chapter of what has been an unpredictable life, one both planned and simultaneously left somewhat to chance. I recently noted that I can, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, but even then there is a plan. The time spent researching, imagining, and trying to control the variables of this new adventure is both inside and outside my wheelhouse. The researching and planning are not new, in spite of the reality that I am working with skills that are not new conceptually, but they certainly are experientially. Regardless that I grew up with a journeyman electrician for a father, my wiring experience is minimal at best. It matters not that I had two bathrooms remodeled in my home, and I watched the process quite intently, my actually laboring to do it is pretty non-existent. Then there is solar, compostable plumbing, gray-water tanks, or carpentry. The learning curve will be steep. But as importantly, I have the time. That is the most important thing. I do have a proposed schedule, but there are still so many pieces to work out. The first two important pieces include the windows, which are being manufactured in Washington as I write this. The second piece, and one mostly unexpected, but deep-down perhaps not, is the installation of a rebuilt transmission, and that is pricey, but a necessity. I am working on my new video, but learning Camtasia on the fly at the same time. I have thoughts, hopes, and expectations of this also. It will take some dedicated, thoughtful, and meticulous work on a number of levels, but I want to create something both inspiring and memorable. I need to perhaps ask a couple of people to assist in small ways on the technology piece, but it’s exciting to imagine. There are moments I feel like my ducks-are-in-row, but there are times I see no ducks!! Next week, if I get the house issues pretty much behind me (which should be manageable), ordering of some of the significant pieces of the electrical, solar, batteries, and other necessities for the power and cooling/heating in the bus. There are some essentials I need to consider, and working with a couple people on specifics next week will be important.
The reason for getting the house emptied first is so I can singularly focus on the various elements of the build. The second reason for waiting until next week is about managing cash-flow because there will be a significant layout of cash coming soon. I am trying to be both not cheap as well as simultaneously frugal. While this might seem oxymoronic, I do believe it is possible, but it will take time, thought, and patience. I think my propensity for process will pay off, or I surely hope so. Over the last months I have spent time watching the videos of other builds, and examining what occurred carefully. I hope to learn from the experience of others. Even before the really down-and-dirty of the build, unexpected occurrences have been normal. I considered wrapping the bus. Someone’s decision (prior owner) to paint the bus with latex paint banished that option. Windows with no screens are a no-go, so replacing 7 windows requires UPS and working with a company in Washington state. My own concern about the shifting (or lack of appropriate shifting) has necessitated replacing the transmission, which is neither cheap or instantaneous. New shocks seemed like a good plan considering the additional weight and amount of driving that will occur. All of this is before the build. I am sure there will be other unanticipated occurrences. Learning will abound. In the meanwhile, I will hopefully have a new video up early in the week. It is a step forward in production from the first one, I am not sure the sound is where I want it. And there are other things to manage, more learning. The link to my YouTube site is: https://youtu.be/QbTzS55DWhE . Please do subscribe and follow. I am going to document the entire project. I need to offer shout outs to @S&S Glass of Berwick, @chuckcsssady, @edenthebus, @dayzea, @peninsulaglass, @steveshannontire, and independenceford at this point.
The video here is a recent version of the classic Jackson Brown tune about the end of his shows. The recent version reminds me of the reality of aging, the reality of endings and beginnings. It is life, and it has been and will be an adventure.
Thanks as always for reading.
Michael (the retired version)
thewritingprofessor55 